Don’t you hate years like this? What the hell happened to spring? We get a few teaser days and then it’s back to winter again. It’s times like these that really try Cape Codder’s souls.

Should I put out the patio furniture? Should I take the cover off the grill? Can I wear my flip flops today? Do I put the boat in the water? I mean these kinds of decisions are not to be taken lightly. The rest of the world really has no idea what we go through during years like this. It really is a hardship on all of us, the governor should declare a state of emergency or something until we find out if spring is officially here or not.

ML – Kate Spade’s pendant of Massachusetts is missing part of the Bay state — Cape Cod.

The “state of mind” pendant has “by the Bay” engraved at the top and most of the state but is missing the hook-shaped peninsula.

Reviewers took notice of the missing peninsula on their site.

“Was looking at the Massachusetts pendant to buy but realized they cut off cape cod, cape cod is a part of the state and where I live. How can you sell a Massachusetts pendant without cape cod,” jenny89 wrote.

What in the holy hell is this crap? The sun finally comes out, The Real Cape staff is is hard at work taking motorcycle rides and going fishing and this comes across the wire to interrupt our day? This is possibly the most egregious, heinous, unacceptable and insulting thing that has happened on earth since JFK told all of Germany he was a jelly doughnut.

Leaving Cape Cod off of this pendant is like leaving the torch off the Statue of Liberty, or the penis off of Michelangelo’s David. It’s the most important part. That’s right, I just said we are the penis of Massachusetts, and to remove us from the state’s likeness is to remove its manhood. I’ll just come out and say it, Massachusetts without Cape Cod is impotent.

Oh and this Kate phony? The founder of “Kate Spade New York”? She’s from Missouri and went to Arizona State. No wonder she’s dumb enough to leave Cape Cod off of a pendant, Arizona State is easier to get into then a Wareham girl.

WCAI – As early as next fall, police at Cape Cod Community College may patrol its wooded campus in West Barnstable armed with guns.

Students and staff say the pending decision to allow campus police officers to carry guns at Cape Cod Community College has not generated a lot of controversy.

Student Senate President Christopher DeDecko says he’s heard surprisingly little pushback from students on the proposal.

Phew… it was only a matter of time before some psycho in the nursing school started smashing people over the head with her stethoscope. Now the police officers will finally have the tools to stop such a tragedy.

Seriously though, no shit giving police officers guns hasn’t caused much controversy. Cops carry guns. They have for years and they’ve been known to come in handy on a few occasions. As long as officers refrain from killing kids for wearing hoodies everything should be just fine, and I highly doubt any of the three police officers who patrol 4C’s have been chomping at the bit to pump some kid getting his associates degree in basket weaving full of lead.

As a matter of fact I’d be willing to bet there will never be an incident where one of these officers has to pull their weapon. The closest Cape Cod Community College has ever come to civil unrest was when the elementary education kids threatened to steal the liberal arts kids Hackey Sacks if they didn’t stop playing so close to them at lunchtime. (In all fairness those things can be dangerous)

BOSTON (AP) — The Massachusetts congressional delegation is joining its Maine counterparts in questioning a push by the Swedish government to declare American lobsters an invasive species.

Sweden wants the European Union to bar imports of live American lobsters into the 28-nation bloc, a response to the appearance of 32 American lobsters in Swedish waters.

Massachusetts’ delegation has sent a letter to Secretary of State John Kerry and others saying the Swedish claim needs to be backed up with scientific evidence.

Woah, Woah, Woah, don’t even try it Mr. Neutral. You’re just jealous because our lobsters are bigger, jucier and tastier than yours. Just wait until Trump hears about this, he’ll be calling for an all out ban on hot Swedish blondes meatballs so fast your pale little heads will spin.

I guess since you Swedish pricks didn’t do anything to help stop Hitler you figured you’d pick an easier target to go after. Well I’ve got news for you there Magnes ver Magnessen von Magnessenessen, we protect our own here in America. If those 32 American lobsters want to go to skiing we fully expect you to open up your nicest chalets and give them discounted lift tickets to Mt. Sarektjakkaktkjatjkkavatttensburjkg.

If any harm should come to the 32 American lobsters in your custody, or if you do ban American lobsters from your little European club, we will ban the banning of using nuclear weapons on American lobster hating douchebags. How you like them apples?

P.S. This goes for all Swedes except that chick that smashed Tiger Woods with a golf club and ended the greatest golfing career in history. We don’t want any trouble with her.

CN – Add it to the list of items dangerous to local bodies of water: fertilizer, wastewater and now koi, a relative of the goldfish.

Spotted recently in Johns Pond were five “large” koi fish. Johns Pond Estates Association president John O. Harris and his wife saw the fish over the weekend and alerted the town. The koi were spotted last year as well, and Mr. Harris suspects that they lay dormant in the deeper parts of the pond over the winter.

“These fish are big, probably 10 to 20 pounds, and will be breeding soon, probably already have,” Mr. Harris wrote to Mashpee conservation agent Andrew R. McManus on Sunday after spotting the fish near his dock. “Do you have any suggestions or advice before we have thousands of them in Johns Pond?”

Ask me! Ask me! I have a great idea. Embrace the situation, build a big ass Pagoda right on the pristine shores of John’s Pond and start serving spring rolls and beef teriyaki. You can hire some shitty comedians and x-rated hypnotists and call it the Cape Kowloon! Hey if Chik-fil-A can get approved why can’t Cape Kowloon? Throw a leaning tower of Pizza and a Golden Banana in there while you’re at it and we can be Rte. 1 south!

“Come on down to Mashpee to see the largest Koi Pond in the western hemisphere!”

P.S. For you newbies, that’s what we like to call Sarcasm, realistically we should probably just kill them all ASAP.

P.P.S. Don’t Jersey The Cape…