Did You Know That Cape Cod Celebrated Its 414th Birthday This Weekend?


See! It was “discovered” in 1602! It says so right there! Well, that is unless you ask a Wampanoag. They may see it just a tad different. To them Gosnold “discovering” Cape Cod would be like me “discovering” a bank with a few million dollars in the vault and considering it mine. It was so nice of the people on the land Bart “discovered” to teach us to plant food, before we gave them small pox and they nearly became extinct. But hey…. Casinos for everyone!

You do have to admit there is a certain irony in the fact that the first European to find Cape Cod just happens to share the same name as one of the biggest rehabs on the peninsula. Talk about foreshadowing. I can see him now in his fancy 1600’s Captain Hook gear and curly white wig with his foot up on a rock and saying….

“I Bartholomew Gosnold do hereby declare that this peninsula shall one day contain alcoholics and drug addicts as far as the eye can see!”

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go on an expedition to “discover” my bathroom.

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