If you have any cool photos of The Cape getting mauled by Hercules send upload them below, we’ll be publishing them all day…
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WCAI – Good luck finding local cod in Cape Cod, Mass.
The fish once sustained New England’s fishing industry, but in recent years, regulators have imposed severe catch limits on cod and the fish remain scarce.
“I’ve never seen codfishing this bad,” says Greg Wilinsky, who’s been fishing on Cape Cod for more than 30 years. “It looks to me like it’s over. And I can’t catch any codfish.”.
At Finely JP’s, a seafood restaurant on the Cape, owner John Pontius says he has always served local cod, but the shortage caused prices to skyrocket. So for a while, he took it off the menu.
Now Pontius serves cod imported from Iceland. He is not alone.
Cape Cod restaurants serving Cod from Iceland? I’m pretty sure this is one of the signs of the apocalypse right? What’s next, are we gonna have to import Cape Cod Beer from Germany? Start getting our Cape Cod Chips from Idaho?
This is not a good look for The Cape at all. This is like if Buffalo ran out of wings or the Swiss ran out of cheese, you just can’t let that happen. So what are the alternatives? Well look at this madness…
Duffy and other fish wholesalers are trying to build a local market for dogfish. But it’s a hard sell. In America, he says, it’s just not popular.
“I know what they do with dogfish. They send it to England mostly, and the English use it as fish and chips — and I believe that’s why they put vinegar on their fish and chips,” says Romeo Solviletti. He’s the manager of Connolly’s Seafood, just down the block from the Cape Ann Seafood Exchange.
Hold up a second, are we counting Dogfish as sharks? Are they part of the 73 million killed a year? This means I might be able to keep swimming in the ocean. Anyone who has ever fished on Cape Cod knows that those things are like the rats of the sea. Sometimes you catch them on every cast and it’s annoying as hell. They may account for 72.9 million on their own.
How about those nasty ass English people though huh? I mean I’ve probably caught hundreds of Dogfish and never entertained the idea of making Fish and Chips out of their back meat. Could English food be any worse? First they just throw meat in boiling water and now they’re frying up a fish we throw back by the hundreds. No wonder their teeth are so bad, they probably fall out in an effort to get their owner to stop eating all together.
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NJL – A great white shark has been tracked from Cape Cod to Daytona Beach, a researcher with the nonprofit group Ocearch said Monday night.
The 14-foot, 2-inch shark named “Katharine” weighs 2,300 pounds and was last located early Sunday night a couple miles off the shore of Daytona Beach, said Chris Fischer, a founder of Ocearch.
So I was all set to start making jokes about how Cape Cod sharks probably wear socks with sandals and blue blocker glasses while they are swimming eight miles an hour around Florida during the winter months. I had a couple of good ones lined up about early bird buffets and AARP discounts at the gill doctor too but then I got hit with the last paragraph of the article.
Ocearch was formed in 2007 to bring attention to the plight of sharks, 200,000 of which are slaughtered a day and 73 million a year for soup and food, Fischer said.
What in the who the huh? 73 MILLION sharks a year become soup!? This is alarming to say the least. You might think I am about to go on a rant about endangering these majestic creatures but fuck that noise! Do you realize what this means?
It means that there are most likely BILLIONS of other sharks out there. Up until this moment I thought sharks were like Ferrari’s, like yeah they’re out there but you barely ever see one. Turns out they’re Toyota fucking Camry’s. This is it for me, I am never swimming in the ocean again. This is a drastic decision for a Cape Codder I know, but if we are killing 73 million a year and they aren’t extinct yet then we are probably just pissing them off. Most likely they are planning a massive strike against all of us at once and when it happens my ass is going to be planted firmly on terra firma.
P.S. 200,000 a day, A DAY!
So with the 2013 coming to a quick end, it’s time for everyone’s top list of everything and anything. So I decided to throw my ring in the hat. I am going with the top 5 live performances that I witnessed in 2013. Most I saw here on the cape, except one that I volunteered to work at. Some of the names on my list you will recognize, a few of them may be foreign to you but this is my top 5 and not yours.
5-Afroman– @The Beach House. I know Mr.Fro is not the most talented musician/rapper out there but dude put on a good show. This guy gets straight up blasted. From chugging Colt45’s to rippin down blunts this legend party like he’s from Cape Cod. Mighty Ceej(who opened the show) said it the best it’s a cross between a comedy show and a rap show. Those are two of my favorite things , so this was right up there for me for 2013. Plus we got to hang with him for a bit before the show and he was about as real and funny as you get.
4-Crooked Coast-@Luke’s House Boat. This was a private birthday party on a house boat in Woods Hole. Three bands where there to celebrate this day of birth. DCLA, The Brothers Rye and Crooked Coast combined for a great day of music and celebration. There was also a mini half pipe built on the boat to add to the awesomeness. This was my first time seeing DCLA play and they impressed beyond my expectations. Brothers Rye and Crooked Coast did their thing and did not disappoint once again. The day was capped off with a fireworks display.
1-Zack Deputy-@Boston Harbor Cruise. I know this wasn’t on the Cape but it’s not my top 5 shows from the cape. But there is a Cape connection with him, when Zack takes a backing band with him he takes members of Funktapuss on tour with him. I was lucky enough to get on the boat for sound check and have dinner with Zack. If you do not know this man be sure to check him out. This guy is a one man ninja funk show. If you are not dancing at a Zack Deputy show you must hate music or be a communist bastard. His live show puts the funk in funkatopiaism. He delivers the jams like I delivered him his burrito. Not to mention he is one great guy, anyone that wanted a photo or an autograph he complied. Nowadays it’s hard to find a national touring musician that will take that much time with fans. So make sure if you are not a commie and like music be sure to check out a Zack Deputy show.
Capecodtoday.com – On this day in 1987, a nor’easter for the ages opened a breach in a barrier spit off Chatham, altering the coastal contours of the Outer Cape for years to come.
As the breach widened over the next two years, dredging became necessary to maintain an open channel for commercial fishermen and Coast Guard vessels.
The storm dumped up to a foot and a half of snow in some areas, packed winds of more than 50 mph and forced residents to evacuate many coastal areas.
I don’t know what it says about me but I root for storms. I don’t want anyone getting hurt or people’s property destroyed but I love shit like this. I love when mother nature reminds us of how tiny we are by altering something in one day that would take us weeks with all of our best machinery. We are arrogant enough to think that we can save the Piping Plovers from her wrath by roping off sections of beach, but she can remove entire sections of earth at the drop of a hat. Slow your roll humans, we aren’t in charge.
By far the best part of getting big snowstorms though is that it is perfectly acceptable to act like a complete alcoholic. Not only do you not feel bad drinking whiskey at 10 in the morning, you can even post about it on Facebook and nobody judges. I think it’s mother natures way of reminding us that working and going to school sucks and every once in a while we should just get drunk all day and play outside. I’d highly advise you listen to your mother and start drinking as soon as possible.
P.S. After you’ve been drinking a while come back to this post and say the second part of the title 10 times fast.
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Capecodtoday.com – Sandwich police officers broke up an underage drinking party on New Year’s Eve scattering teens just an hour before midnight. According to a release from Sandwich police, the parent of a Sandwich teen learned about the party at 9 Windsong Road in Forestdale and reported it to police.
Several young people reportedly ran from the property when officers arrived at the home. The officers entered the home and spoke with the 52-year-old homeowner, who allegedly hosted the party for his two teens and their friends.
In all, officers requested 34 criminal applications for minor in possession of alcohol. The homeowner will be charged with procuring alcohol for minors and keeper of a disorderly house.
This should do it right? This will definitely put an end to the underage drinking. God forbid anyone actually realize that you can’t stop underage drinking from happening and try to give kids a safe place to do it on New Year’s Eve right? I mean everyone knows that kids are supposed to party in the woods with giant fires and no supervision.
You can’t blame the cops here though, they have to do their job when 34 people are committing a crime, that’s a little beyond the sweep under the rug category. You know who you can blame though? The parent of the teen who learned about the party and called the police in the first place. Talk about the double whammy. Now you are known as a snitch among all the parents and your kid will never be told of any other parties for their entire High School career. You ruined a New Year’s Eve Party for fucks sake.
Listen I’m not saying let kids do whatever they want, but if you are a parent and you overhear about a party at another house? Pick up the phone and call the kids parents if you are concerned, take a ride over there and see what’s up, don’t call the police. Even the cops were probably saying how much of a prick you are for calling them. I’m sure they would rather the kids be at a house with a parent than out driving around.
This is why nobody is cool in this country anymore. There is a war on cool. Every time anyone tries to have a little fun some fucking Boy Scout is there to make a stink. What happened to the good old days when parents dealt with shit on their own and didn’t need to get the cops involved in disciplining their kids, let alone disciplining other people’s kids.
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Globe – Any moment now, Lady Gaga will be releasing a new version of her song “Do What U Want,” featuring vocals by Christina Aguilera. So what, you say? Well, Aguilera recorded her vocals last weekend in the living room of Carly Simon’s home on Martha’s Vineyard. We’re not sure why she chose Carly’s crib, but Oak Bluffs-based producer Jimmy Parr oversaw the session, and his new studio is still under construction.
What the hell is this crap? How Does my girl Christina sneak over to The Vineyard right under my nose and not hit me up? I figured she would have heard that I put her on my coveted 15 coolest Christmas songs list by now. I just thought I could expect at least a phone call if she was in the area.
Maybe she was pissed that I only put her at number 12 and she snubbed me on purpose? Probably because she’s hot again, gross Christina would have at least texted me I’m sure. All I know is I hope Shane MacGowan doesn’t slim down, grow his teeth back and get big timey. The only reason I put him at number one was in the hopes of getting a gummy from his handsome ass.
