So I want to start with saying Happy New Year to all The Real Cape peeps out there. Hope you all had a night full of saying Happy New Year to many people whom you could care less if they get diarrhea everyday in 2014. I am starting this year out with a new segment of reviewing music venues here on the cape. Today I look at one of the most infamous venues here, good ol’ Pufferbellies.

This place has more potential than Jackie Bradley Jr. But it seems it can’t get out of the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. You won’t hear about Pufferbellies for a few months then BAM, a stabbing or a car is left on cinder blocks or a featured musician did not show up. The list of acts pulling no shows is one witha few pretty big names on it. That list includes D.J Clue, Fabulous, and Ludicrous. Pulling the old no main act trick to a room of 1000 boozed up early 20 year olds usually goes over pretty well.  I am sure thats doesn’t add fuel to the fire at all, and get a few young, dumb and full of cum drunk dudes to go on a rampage.

To their credit they have pulled in a couple names to show up. DMX did show up, not sure how long he played for but at least they got him there. And I think Lil Poopy also made an apperence.

I mean it’s amazing to me that they cant pull more nationally touring acts. With a little love this place could be the spot. No other venue besides the Melody Tent holds that many people. But you keep mixing 18+ with 21+, bad things are gonna happen. From looking at their Facebook page they look like the U.N with all these Russian nights, Brazilian nights and I even saw a Brazilian/Irish night. Now thats an interesting evening, you got whiskey drinking Irish teens and skimpy dress wearing Brazilian girls, sounds like a recipe for a love connection. E-Harmony has nothing on that night a Pufferbellies.

So I hope Pufferbellies can make their New Years resolution and get their shit together and help out the live music scene here and start pulling in some big names. I mean why wouldn’t a musician want to come to beautiful Cape Cod in the summer and play in front of a 1000 people and make a few grand? So help us out Pufferbellies and get your shit together. The other major thing about this venues is that it is centrally located. It’s perfect to throw some major concerts. Everyone from P-town to Fal-town would be able to come buy your $6 cans of bud light.

This is part of one awesome review I read-“There was maybe like 15 cars in the lot. My friends and I were very happy we brought emergency drinks for the car since we were all dressed like tools. Ok maybe just I was. (Pics related)

After enough liquid courage we go inside, they have bouncers and security (they won’t let you bring drinks into the bathroom which I thought was kinda weird) but no pat downs, and they have a fully stocked bar.As people have said this place it EXPENSIVE for alch. Around 6 bucks for a beer in a can.

The image of when we walked in consisted of 5 people dancing in this massive place, and then 2 ‘customers’ pole dancing for this russian fat guy in the corner. The girls pole dancing looked like playmates, and the dude looked like a mobster.

Either way I’m down with that, if I was a fat russian mobster I’d probably hang at an 18+ rave with a fully stocked bar nearby with 2 ladies of the night pole dancing for me. So I can’t judge”. This dude nailed it.

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So with the 2013 coming to a quick end, it’s time for everyone’s top list of everything and anything. So I decided to throw my ring in the hat. I am going with the top 5 live performances that I witnessed in 2013. Most I saw here on the cape, except one that I volunteered  to work at. Some of the names on my list you will recognize, a few of them may be foreign to you but this is my top 5 and not yours.

5-Afroman– @The Beach House. I know Mr.Fro is not the most talented musician/rapper out there but dude put on a good show. This guy gets straight up blasted. From chugging Colt45’s to rippin down blunts this legend party like he’s from Cape Cod. Mighty Ceej(who opened the show) said it the best it’s a cross between a comedy show and a rap show. Those are two of my favorite things , so this was right up there for me for 2013. Plus we got to hang with him for a bit before the show and he was about as real and funny as you get.

4-Crooked Coast-@Luke’s House Boat. This was a private birthday party on a house boat in Woods Hole. Three bands where there to celebrate this day of birth. DCLA, The Brothers Rye and Crooked Coast combined for a great day of music and celebration. There was also a mini half pipe built on the boat to add to the awesomeness. This was my first time seeing DCLA play and they impressed beyond my expectations. Brothers Rye and Crooked Coast did their thing and did not disappoint once again. The day was capped off with  a fireworks display.

3-Spirtual Rez-@The Boat House. This Band is always a must see when you get the chance. Over the summer of 2013 I went to see the Rez and once again I left knowing my legs would be sore the next day.(And my head would feel like it was in a vice) As energy filled as a live show can get, these guys go 100% a 100% of the show. Also to my surprise they where open for by a band that caught my attention. This band was Viva La Hop. This organic hip hop band has a great compliment to the Rez.

2-ALO-@ The Beach House. In the world of jam music ALO(Animal Liberation Orchestra) is one of the biggest names on the scene. To have Pat pull these guys on to the cape was amazing. This group of great guys delivered with a show I still listen to almost daily. They interacted great with the crowd and even played some Massachusetts theme songs. They rocked Dirty Water and even busted out Sweet Caroline. I We got to have a few beers with them after the show and they where equally as great as the show. The John Beninghof Band got our dancing shoes warmed up with a rocking set.

1-Zack Deputy-@Boston Harbor Cruise. I know this wasn’t on the Cape but it’s not my top 5 shows from the cape. But there is a Cape connection with him, when Zack takes a backing band with him he takes members of Funktapuss on tour with him. I was lucky enough to get on the boat for sound check and have dinner with Zack. If you do not know this man be sure to check him out. This guy is a one man ninja funk show. If you are not dancing at a  Zack Deputy show you must hate music or be a communist bastard. His live show puts the funk in funkatopiaism. He delivers the  jams like I delivered him his burrito. Not to mention he is one great guy, anyone that wanted a photo or an autograph he complied. Nowadays it’s hard to find a national touring musician that will take that much time with fans. So make sure if you are not a commie and like music be sure to check out a Zack Deputy show.

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Today I’m picking my top 5 Cape Cod songs. This was much harder than I expected, because there’s 685 million songs about our man made island. I had to exclude using any artist from here for this post, because every single one of them has written a song about growing up here. The best Cape Cod song by a local artist debate is a post for another time. So with out further or due… Drum roll please.

5. Cape Cod Cranberry Bog Working Song – By Little Bay Stampin’- I mean what says Cape Cod more than picking cranberries? All I know this guy better make sure my grandfather doesn’t see this video. Gramps and his old school Portagees would hunt this guy down and beat the bag out of him with their hand made canes for taking work from them. But I cant believe this song isn’t a huge hit yet with the deep lyrics and great melody. Remember you heard it here first when the radio stations are playing it every 45 minutes.

4. Old Cape Cod– by Patti Page – I know this isn’t what a lot of “us” like to have our beloved Cape Cod painted as , but it really captures the LOVE people have for this place. Patti can really sing though, what a beautiful song. Alright I’m not good at getting all sappy and shit. But overall a great song in my book.

3. Escape (Pina Colada Song) – Rupert Holmes – Call me a sell out if you want but this is my top 5, and ol’ Rupert has always had a special spot in my heart with this jam. Drinking, sex in the sand (watch out for the screaming seagull), and more drinking. It’s a hit with me.

2. Cape Cod Girls – Anonymous – If this old sea shanty doesn’t get you foot stomping and give you goose bumps you better check your heart beat. Not to mention it makes me want to grab a turkey leg and a pint and go get my pirate on. There have been hundreds of versions of this song done through the years all capturing the spirit of how the good old days were. Drinking and combing you hair with cod fish bones.

1. Bourne Bridge Parody – Tom Doyle – Not much to say here. Tom should have a statue built of him at both or all three bridges. Tom is a national treasure. The undisputed king of Cape Cod songs.

So there you have it. Let the debate begin.

*Editors Note: The debate Tony? There is no debate because this is the most Insane list any human has ever come up with for anything. Tony asked if I wanted to add my top five to this post. Ummm… no, I think I’ll just let this one stand on it’s own, thanks though Tony.

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If you are a regular reader of my music section you have noticed I am not a pop music wizard. I am not ashamed of this nor do I apologize for it. The last few days at my “real” job my boss has forced me to listen to a radio station (that shall remain nameless) that plays today’s “hits”.

I have no beef at all with the DJ, I respect the hell out of what they do. It’s not easy to sit there by yourself and talk on air for hours at a time. The disc jockeys on this station did an exceptional job with that part.

My beef with these station is as old as F.M radio itself, WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO HEAR THE SAME 10 SONGS EVERY GOD DAMN HOUR? I understand you need to play what the people that tune in want to hear, but good lord. I know for a fact that there is more than 10 “hits” out there. If I have to hear “Cruise” by Nelly one more time I might drive my car off the 2nd Sagamore bridge.

Not sure if the program director is to blame, but someone needs to inform whoever is making these decisions. I don’t expect them to stop playing the “hits”, but at least maybe have a 2 hour time slot before that song can be played again. I know…I know, if I don’t like it I don’t have to listen. Don’t get your ear bud cords tangled and get all pissy. Even if a radio station that plays music that I actually like did this, I would be pissed.

P.s- I love music and respect how hard people work in radio
P.s.s- I am Insane

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