CapeCodOnline.com – A prank 911 call reporting an active shooter at a Main Street home drew a massive police response and closed a portion of Route 28 for nearly an hour Wednesday night.

Just after 10 p.m., local and state police responded to 545 Main St. after receiving a call from an untraceable Skype phone that a teenager inside had a gun to his mother’s head and another two minutes later reporting he shot his mother, according to Sgt. John Emerson.

A perimeter was set up around the property, closing off a portion of Main Street and an ambulance and firetruck sat waiting in the parking lot at the nearby Hess Gas Station.

Police eventually made contact with the alleged victim, Penelope Pina, and her 17-year-old son and learned that the report was false, police said.

“It’s not funny, but apparently it’s something that gamers occasionally do,” Emerson said on the scene Wednesday night.

When they made entrance into the home, the young man was still playing the video game.

There was no weapon in the house, and the scene was quickly cleared.

The hoax, known as “swatting,” is when someone calls in an emergency situation that generates massive police or SWAT team response. It is a trend among combat-themed video gamers seeking retaliation against their virtual opponent.

Dennis officers were assisted by Harwich Police, Massachusetts State Police, and the Dennis Fire Department.

Well this is an interesting development in the world of gaming. I guess teen angst in the industry has come a long way from when we used to freak out and blow into the Nintendo to fix it. Sure, I can remember getting pissed and throwing my controller because I missed one of those little arrows and my bike overheated in Excitebike, but this brings gamer anger to a new level.

Oh you’re beating me at Call of Duty? Well what do you think about the 38 cops from 3 departments outside your house with automatic weapons pointed at your mother’s head? Seems a bit over the top to me, but what do I know? I’m still convinced that NHL ’94 for Sega Genesis is the greatest video game ever invented.

This is the problem with online gaming, sure it’s cool that kids can play with their friends from school, but not so cool when they piss off some hillbilly, Trench Coat Mafia soldier in training that’s listening to Insane Clown Posse in the basement of his grandmothers meth lab trailer on the outskirts of some shit town in one of those states in the middle of the country that smells like The Barnstable County Fair.

Just be careful kids, talk shit to the wrong person on those headphones and the next thing you know there’s an Amazon package at your door compliments of Ted Kaczynski Jr.

At this point I feel like Katharine is a family member. We have all been through so much together, the highs, the lows, it really has been a whirlwind relationship since she showed up on our shores a few weeks ago.

For a while I thought Katharine the shark was stalking me, then we realized she was a friendly reggae shark and just wanted tickets to The Wailers show. After that we came to the conclusion that she was in love and was getting her freak on all over the Cape.

Now our girl seems to have taken off to Nantucket for the weekend. Ah, young love, you have to appreciate the spontaneity of it. I don’t know if this is goodbye for the season, or if it’s just a weekend getaway, but I do know this…

Kate, we got off to a rocky start, and you may be a vicious, killing machine, but god damn it you’re our vicious, killing machine. You were tagged here, you smoked your first joint here, you lost your virginity here. You are Kate the Cape Cod Great and we love you now and forever. You get out there and see what the world has to offer, just make sure you come back and visit your Cape family now and again, deal?

The Timeline…

She Arrives

Is She Stalking Me?

She’s A Reggae Shark!

Kate You Freaky Thang

CapeCodOnline.com – Joe’s Lobster Mart has less than two weeks to sell off the lobster, fish and other stock before closing the doors.

Suffolk Superior Court Judge Thomas Connors denied owner Joseph Vaudo’s request for a preliminary injunction against the state Department of Public Health, which revoked Vaudo’s licenses to sell fish and shellfish at the Cape Cod Canal warehouse.

In his decision, Connors found that Vaudo and his attorney failed to demonstrate likelihood they would be successful in appealing the state’s ruling to revoke the licenses.

The state Department of Public Health issued a notice of intent to revoke Vaudo’s licenses April 15, just a couple of weeks after he pleaded guilty in Barnstable District Court to charges of receiving stolen oysters and failing to keep proper shellfish records.

Ding, Dong, the witch is dead! Or at least its been given 14 days to live… until the appeal… whatever, it’s better than nothing. It looks like the thief’s testimony that this was not a “one time” incident has sealed Joe’s fate, and rightfully so.

For those of you who think Joe is getting a raw deal, I’ll just say this. Besides all of the moral and social codes he has broken and on top of the public health risk he created, the man facilitated grand larceny and bought tens of thousand of dollars of hard working Cape people’s stolen goods. If it had been cars or jewelry instead of oysters, the man would probably be going to jail.

There will be one more chapter in this saga when the appeal is heard, but until then stay strong and stay away from Joe’s. I don’t care what kind of fire sale they have, it is our duty as Cape Codders to let every last piece of fish sit there and rot for the next 14 days.

Enquirer – Ethel Kennedy, 86, was all smiles when her son Bobby, 60, wed the “Curb Your Enthusiasm” beauty, 49,, at the family compound in Hyannis Port, Mass., in August., in AugustBut that smile has turned upside down now that the newlyweds are nesting 3,000 miles away in a home in the tony Point Dume section ofMalibu.

“Ethel had all assurances from what Bobby Jr. told her that they would settle on the East Coast and be close to her home in Hyannis,” a family friend told The ENQUIRER. “At her age, Ethel wanted Bobby and his youngest boys, who are both teenagers, close by.“ Ethel suspects Cheryl doesn’t want her influencing Bobby, and she puts the blame for the move to California at her feet.”

Ethel was “initially very welcoming of Cheryl,” according to another friend. “At her age, Ethel wanted Bobby and his youngest boys, who are both teens, close by. She believed that they would visit her on weekends,” the friend said.But after Cheryl’s sitcom “Suburgatory” was canceled, “she told Bobby she needs to be in L.A. for the sake of her career,” said another source.

The family insider added: “Of her 11 children, Ethel is closer to Bobby than anyone, and it breaks her heart that he won’t be around much. “Ethel felt she extended her hand in welcoming Cheryl, and it ended up getting bit.”

The honeymoon is OVAH! Looks like we’ve got ourselves a bona fide Yoko Ono situation here. Who the hell does Cheryl Hines think she is? You can’t break up The Kennedys! This slut is forcing Bobby Jr. to live in LA after he told Ethel he would be close to her in Hyannis?

I don’t think Cheryl Hines realizes who she’s fucking with here. The OG Kennedys aren’t to be trifled with, they’ve seen some shit. Ethel might be past her prime but she’ll put that bitch in a trash can without hesitation.

Consider this an open letter to Cheryl Hines, you get Bobby Jr. back to Hyannis where he belongs or your ass is getting the Mary Jo Kopechne treatment.

P.S. Yes, this was in The National Enquirer, but anyone who’s anyone knows that the shit they publish is all true nowadays.