Wicked Local – Barnstable County Sheriff James M. Cummings is alerting Cape Codders to a new telephone swindle that could lead to a $100 plunge in their savings or checking account.

The scam was reported to the Sheriff’s Office today.   According to the Sheriff, it works this way:

A call is received advising, “You’ve just won $1.7 million in cash or a new Mercedes Benz.  (These prizes could vary, of course, because they’re made up to begin with.)

A lawyer and Barnstable County deputy sheriff, the scam script continues, will be on the way over with the cash or the car.  In the meantime, all they need from you is a $100 processing fee, presumably to “hold” the prize.

What type of mental midget gets taken by a scam like this? You always hear that it’s old people who fall for these schemes but shouldn’t they know better? The oldies have been around longer, they should be harder to trick. Bottom line is, if you’re dumb enough to hand over a C-note as a fee to win $1.7 million then not only do you deserve to lose your money, you should be removed from society in general.

This is the inherent problem with being at the top of the food chain and having no natural enemies. Any person dumb enough to fall for this crap would have most likely been eaten by a lion as a kid because they ran into a tree and knocked themselves out or some shit. Instead they are allowed to grow old and waste the Sheriffs time with useless investigations because they gave a hundred bucks to a Nigerian Prince so he could afford to wire them $1.7 million.

The Sheriff shouldn’t even pretend to investigate these cases, just euthanize the victims until there is nobody stupid enough left for the scammers to trick.

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Capecodonline.com – Brewster police announced Monday that they will be making seized and surplus items available for online auction. According to Brewster Police Capt. Heath Eldredge, items seized during criminal investigations and unclaimed items will be available for bidding.

The auction items will be available at GovDeals.com. Money raised on the auction site will go to the Town of Brewster.

Later this week, Brewster police will post their first items including a lot of 31 bicycles and a 2003 Ford Taurus, according to the release.

Ha ha ha Brewster coming in hot! Going to the Brewster Police auction is like going to a yard sale at the poor peoples house down the street. You know, the ones where they are selling three VCR’s, a stained up La-Z-Boy with no handle and an open box of #4 coffee filters.

When I think of police auctions I picture speed boats and sports cars, maybe some nice jewelry and a couple of fur coats. Meanwhile in Brewster you can bid on a domestic sedan, 23 Huffy’s and 8 Schwinn’s. Not the best place to score some luxury items on the cheap, but if you happen to be starting a paper route then the Brewster auction should be right up your alley.

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BOSTON – The Coast Guard seized more than 1,200 pounds of cocaine and detained two suspected smugglers during an at-sea interdiction, Monday, approximately 500 miles east of Cape Cod.

The drug shipment is estimated to have a wholesale value of more than $20 million.

On Monday, the crew of the Coast Guard Cutter Dependable interdicted the 49-foot sailing vessel Elegance, which claimed Canadian registry, after it was observed riding suspiciously low in the water.

After consultation with Canada, the Dependable crew boarded the Elegance, removed suspected contraband and detained two crew members. A test revealed the contraband to be cocaine.

Do you have any idea how much 1,200 pounds of cocaine is? That would last almost three days in Wareham.

ZING!

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Capecodonline.com — A fraudulent email last week created a stir among some Mashpee students with the claim that the district was holding a full day of school Saturday after a snow-related cancellation.

The email, purportedly from Superintendent Brian Hyde, announced that school would be in session Jan. 4, one day after blizzard conditions forced a cancellation. Scott McGee, chairman of the Mashpee School Committee, said in an email that the note “looked legitimate and was signed by a person posing as the superintendent.”

“It was definitely a hoax and there is no idea on who might have created and sent the email, or how many people received it,” McGee wrote. He said there was no investigation into the matter, but that district personnel “had a good chuckle because of it.”

Mashpee kids need to step up their game, has any school district ever made up a snow day on a Saturday in the history of life? If you want to create a fraudulent email hoax I’m pretty sure rule #1 is for it to be slightly believable. I don’t know a ton about hoaxes but I do know that if the chairman of your school committee and the district personnel “had a good chuckle because of it” then you failed miserably.

Mashpee Faculty- 1  Students – 0

Time to step up your game kids.

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Craigslist.org – I’m a hot, athletic build/curvy female seeking some “play time” tonight at my place. This involves tender touching, admiring, submissive breast work on me, etc. I’m looking for a female close to my age (20-27), that is also fit and is not in the erotic industry. I will be hosting so please understand this post is serious. Pay is $125 for 45 minutes of breast worship. Non smokers only and have a vehicle to get to me. Send photo and phone number. Calling is more efficient than emailing 🙂 Thank you!

Let me get this straight. A hot, athletic, curvy female is willing to pay $125 for someone to worship her breasts 45 minutes? Why does a hot twenty something need to pay someone for this? News flash, breasts are an extremely sought after commodity around here, I’m pretty sure you can find someone to “tenderly touch” them for free at any bar on The Cape.

I would just like to take this opportunity to let all of our female readers know that I provide non secular breast worship completely free of charge. No matter if you are Jewish, Catholic, Muslim or Buddhist I do not discriminate nor do I charge. I will tenderly worship your breasts to the point where they develop a god complex. Call me.

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So I want to start with saying Happy New Year to all The Real Cape peeps out there. Hope you all had a night full of saying Happy New Year to many people whom you could care less if they get diarrhea everyday in 2014. I am starting this year out with a new segment of reviewing music venues here on the cape. Today I look at one of the most infamous venues here, good ol’ Pufferbellies.

This place has more potential than Jackie Bradley Jr. But it seems it can’t get out of the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. You won’t hear about Pufferbellies for a few months then BAM, a stabbing or a car is left on cinder blocks or a featured musician did not show up. The list of acts pulling no shows is one witha few pretty big names on it. That list includes D.J Clue, Fabulous, and Ludicrous. Pulling the old no main act trick to a room of 1000 boozed up early 20 year olds usually goes over pretty well.  I am sure thats doesn’t add fuel to the fire at all, and get a few young, dumb and full of cum drunk dudes to go on a rampage.

To their credit they have pulled in a couple names to show up. DMX did show up, not sure how long he played for but at least they got him there. And I think Lil Poopy also made an apperence.

I mean it’s amazing to me that they cant pull more nationally touring acts. With a little love this place could be the spot. No other venue besides the Melody Tent holds that many people. But you keep mixing 18+ with 21+, bad things are gonna happen. From looking at their Facebook page they look like the U.N with all these Russian nights, Brazilian nights and I even saw a Brazilian/Irish night. Now thats an interesting evening, you got whiskey drinking Irish teens and skimpy dress wearing Brazilian girls, sounds like a recipe for a love connection. E-Harmony has nothing on that night a Pufferbellies.

So I hope Pufferbellies can make their New Years resolution and get their shit together and help out the live music scene here and start pulling in some big names. I mean why wouldn’t a musician want to come to beautiful Cape Cod in the summer and play in front of a 1000 people and make a few grand? So help us out Pufferbellies and get your shit together. The other major thing about this venues is that it is centrally located. It’s perfect to throw some major concerts. Everyone from P-town to Fal-town would be able to come buy your $6 cans of bud light.

This is part of one awesome review I read-“There was maybe like 15 cars in the lot. My friends and I were very happy we brought emergency drinks for the car since we were all dressed like tools. Ok maybe just I was. (Pics related)

After enough liquid courage we go inside, they have bouncers and security (they won’t let you bring drinks into the bathroom which I thought was kinda weird) but no pat downs, and they have a fully stocked bar.As people have said this place it EXPENSIVE for alch. Around 6 bucks for a beer in a can.

The image of when we walked in consisted of 5 people dancing in this massive place, and then 2 ‘customers’ pole dancing for this russian fat guy in the corner. The girls pole dancing looked like playmates, and the dude looked like a mobster.

Either way I’m down with that, if I was a fat russian mobster I’d probably hang at an 18+ rave with a fully stocked bar nearby with 2 ladies of the night pole dancing for me. So I can’t judge”. This dude nailed it.

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