CCT – In 1975 the National Park Service, professing concern about preserving a fragile world of dune and wave, beach plum and seashell, has come up with a novel solution: It is proposing to ban nudity within the boundaries of the Cape Cod National Seashore. The government proposed fines of up to $500 and jail terms up to six months.

The situation at Bush Hollow Beach in Truro reached the breaking point one day the previous August when a park ranger counted 1,200 “nudists” which he estimated were 60 male, 40% female and 15-20 fully-clothed observers, 6 photographers and 20 “homosexuals.”

The news stories of the day did not explain how the ranger knew that the six were “homosexuals.”

I would do anything to go back in time to Cape Cod in the ’70’s. Imagine a place so tolerant that there were 1,200 naked people just living it up on federal beaches. I bet I can figure out how the ranger knew which people were homosexuals. Everybody was probably having sex all over the place and those six were doing it with the same sex. I’d be willing to bet there wasn’t a hollow bush in sight at Hollow Bush Beach in the ’70’s if you know what I mean.

P.S. I have a sneaking suspicion that the ranger’s estimate of 6 homosexuals out of 1,200 naked people at a Truro beach in 1975 may have been a little low.

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Time – Massachusetts: Massachusetts is well-known for its many colleges and universities, but the state’s laws seemed aimed at preventing these students from having very much fun. Out of state drivers licenses aren’t acceptable proofs of age under state law, meaning that out-of-state visitors can get turned away from bars. Bars are also prohibited from  allowing drinking games on their premises, and perhaps worst of all, happy hours are banned state wide.

Well would you look at that? Even Time Magazine, one of the most respected publications in the country, hates the Fun Police.

Let’s get real though. How is it remotely possible that Massachusetts is a worse place to drink than 48 other states?  Massachusetts has won every major sports championship in the 21st century, that’s an automatic bid to the top ten. There are states that don’t even have a single professional sports team, and they rank ahead of us?

We may not have drinking games in bars or happy hours, but have you ever been to Wyoming? There is NOTHING in Wyoming. I would venture to guess that there are more bars in Hyannis than there are in all of Wyoming. There are still gas stations that only sell diesel gas in Wyoming.

Or how about North Dakota? How could drinking in a place like North Dakota be better than drinking in MA? How could ANYTHING in North Dakota be better than in MA? I’d rather get oral sex from a piranha in MA than go drinking in North Dakota.

I agree we have some stupid drinking laws in this state, but there is just no possible chance that you are ever going to convince me that all the states in the middle of the country, all the ones that smell exactly like the Barnstable County Fair, are better places to drink than Massachusetts.

Sorry Time Magazine, but I think you forgot to factor something into your rankings…

 

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CCT – The Friends of the Cape Cod National Seashore (FCCNS) recently reported that gray seals–and a lot of them–have found their way to Eastham. According to FCCNS, August saw the establishment of a new seal haul out at Coast Guard Beach on the Cape Cod National Seashore (CCNS).

The haul out is south of the lifeguard-monitored section of Coast Guard Beach, according to FCCNS.

Most seal haul outs along the Cape Cod National Seashore have been in more remote areas, but this latest haul out is quite close to the busy beach.

Seals on land may look odd, but it is a perfectly normal practice. When seals pull themselves out of the water, or “haul out”, they are doing so to rest and warm up in the sun.

Although fun to watch, visitors are reminded to keep their distance–at least 150 feet away from the seals. Seals are protected under the Marine Mammal Protection Act and those who approach or disturb seals may face fines and jail time.

We live in a strange time in the world folks. Somehow as humans we have decided that if a bunch of seals show up on our peninsula, we need to break out the red carpet and accommodate them to the best of our ability. To the point where if you are caught disturbing them you can GO TO JAIL. Yet, when faced with the possibility of human Hispanic orphan children coming to The Cape, we have protesters lining up with signs that say “No way Jose” and “Send them back”.

Piping Plovers? Fence them off a few hundred acres and build them shelters! Seals? Don’t go within 150 yards! Humans? Get those fuckers out of here, they don’t belong here! I’m sorry but that is a weird ass policy. It’s like we’ve decided that all animals have the same right to the earth as we do, except for our fellow humans. In fact, it seems like many of us have decided that animals have MORE of a right to the earth than non-Americans. It’s pretty crazy if you think about it.

There are definitely immigrants eating all of our food, attracting a dangerous crowd, stinking up our streets and taking over our nice pretty peninsula, but they aren’t children from South America. Where are all the Wal-Martians with their fanny packs and “No deal stupid seal” signs protesting their arrival?

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It’s back to reality on Tuesday, so you better take full advantage and get in a Sunday Funday to remember. Go build yourself some memories of that time you had the best Bloody Mary on the planet and listened to special guest Daniel Byrnes playing some killer acoustic music at Liam Maguire’s on Main St. in Falmouth.

It’s going down right now, 12-3. If you aren’t drinking by now on the Sunday of Labor Day weekend then you are doing it all wrong. Go out with a bang and build one of these… that’s a memory you’ll NEVER forget!

Sunday Brunch

Breakfast Burrito

Scrambled eggs, bacon, cheese, and two hash browns with an avocado chipotle aioli.

Irish Breakfast

Two eggs cooked to order, two rashers, two bangers, black and white pudding, home fries, and a fried tomato. Served with brown bread.

Crab cakes Eggs Benedict

Two English muffins topped with jumbo crab cakes, Irish bacon, poached eggs and our own homemade hollandaisesauce. Served with home fries.

French Toast

Three slices of thick cut Sourdough bread dipped in our own cinnamon French toast batter. Served with a side fresh fruit.

Chicken & Waffles

Habanero Guinness waffles with two fried chicken breasts, smothered in Southern style white gravy, made with our own bangers. Served with REAL New England Maple syrup and pickled vegetables.

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P.S-I just got a call to host tonight. BAAAM. See you there.

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CCT – Congressman William Delahunt’s (D-MA) long reign began with a question mark (see story below) and a disputed court decision to win his first nomination for congress in 1961, now the former Congressman is suing Massachusetts after his bid to launch three medical marijuana dispensaries was rejected by state regulators.

Known as a double-dipper, Delahunt is seeking to run dispensaries in Dennis, Mashpee and Taunton.

Delahunt also inserted earmarks for his “clients” while still sitting on congressional committee which control this matter (see link below).

Regulators say they denied his bid because it would have diverted excessive revenues to a management company he’s affiliated with and incorrectly suggested he had support from state Senate President Therese Murray.

The Globe reports that Delahunt’s application for the three licenses stated that the dispensary intended to give 50 percent of its revenue to a management firm that was controlled by the former congressman and his business partners.

If this stunk any more than it does I’d think we were at the Provincetown Parade. We’ve got a former politician, who opposed marijuana throughout his entire career, trying to make tons of money off of an industry he cares nothing about, suing his former employer, the government that can’t get anything right and hasn’t let one dispensary open in the two years since 63% of the people voted for it.

By all accounts the reason medical marijuana is taking so long in Massachusetts is because they wanted to make sure it was regulated in a way that was most profitable. So now, because a bunch of money hungry politicians don’t want another money hungry politician making too much money, Cape Cod won’t get two of the dispensaries it should have, and sick people aren’t getting medicine.

Look, this site is called The Real Cape because we don’t blow smoke up people’s asses. Is medical marijuana only for sick people? No, it’s a back door tactic to legalize it for everyone. That’s not the point here, the point is that in a democracy when 63% of the people vote something into law, it’s supposed to happen in a timely manner without politicians bickering over who gets the money from it.

The people of Cape Cod are getting it from one end by their government and in the other from their former congressman. They could have at least bought us dinner first.

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Labor Day. Such a bittersweet weekend for the tourists and summer people. It is a holiday weekend full of beach days, cookouts, boating etc. but for many of them it signifies their last weekend of the summer.

For us? It is the beginning of the best 2 months of the year on Cape Cod. Labor Day weekend is a 3 day Bon Voyage party when we say goodbye to bumper to bumper traffic, waiting an hour for a table at our favorite restaurant, and say hello to being able to take a left hand turn onto Rte. 28 in under 47 minutes.

This weekend we celebrate the welcome tranquility of going to the beach and not having sand kicked in our faces all day. Adios 80 degree weather, welcome back 70’s and sunny during the day and cool at night. There is no better feeling than the first time you pull on a pair of wool socks and throw on a hoodie to drink by the fire pit. When the coozy keeps your beer cold during the day, and your hand warm at night.

Most importantly, come Tuesday, we will be revisited by a little thing called silence.

So while the masses weep on their dashboards in six miles of bridge traffic on Monday. We will be knowingly smiling to each other in the empty aisles of Stop and Shop, internally reveling in the realization that we have our peninsula back.

Our Cape… The Real Cape.

 

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