Real Cape Cod Geography: A Letter To Wareham, Plymouth Etc.

Dear Wareham, Plymouth etc.,

This letter was inspired by this sticker. Whoever made this should be bound, gagged and sent via UPS as far from The Cape as possible, never to return.

cape sticker2

 

This is an absolute travesty.

Here it is, this is the absolute concrete final word on what is Cape Cod and what is not:

cape map

 

End of argument and we don’t want to hear another word about it.

Signed,

Real Cape Codders

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Insane Tony’s Local Music Lunch Hour – Boombasnap

Sore legs, melted face, and a major headache (one too many adult sodas). No it’s not how Peyton Manning felt Monday morning. This was me Sunday morning after the Boombasnap show at The Beach house on Saturday night. There was everything from a soul train line and afros to a trampoline and enough boogie for Studio 54. Boombasnap, a four piece band with a solid funk groove, and hip-hop reggae rocking style, is locked in and tearing up the music scene here on The Cape.

Boombasnap consists of local musicians Dennis Christiano (guitar, vocals) , John Redden (drums, vocals), Cory Schechtman (keyboard, saxaphone, vocals) and Daniel Fowler (bass, vocals). All of these multi-talented Boombasnappers have played in well known and successful bands such as Shotgun Bandits, Shango Axe, Contraband and Funktapuss. With a residency at The Island Merchent every Thursday and other dates all over New Englandn they pride themselves on perfecting their craft. They have shared the stage with the likes of Soul Moudle, Dopapod, Don Mccloskey, Dr.Westchesterson, and members of Stephen Marley’s band. Be sure to catch them when you get the chance. To find out when, visit their website or Follow them on Twitter and Facebook

boombasnap

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Cape Cod Gets Grant To Help Cut Down On Underage Drinking, Unless Of Course You Grew Up Here

jonahcasey
BARNSTABLE — Barnstable has received a state grant of nearly $10,000 to help cut down on underage drinking. The grant, awarded by the Massachusetts Executive Office of Public Safety, specifically targets summer visitors who are underage, but may nevertheless attempt to purchase alcohol at bars or liquor stores while vacationing in Barnstable.

Of course this grant “specifically targets summer visitors who are underage”. That’s because there is no way you could possibly stop kids that actually grow up on Cape Cod from drinking when they are underage.

Underage drinking on Cape Cod is an institution, it’s like football in Texas or hockey in Canada. It’s a way of life for kids here.

It’s not necessarily a bad thing either. Cape Cod kids get to college and they can already handle their booze. Freshmen kids from other Mass. towns are blacking out and getting dicks drawn on their forehead every night because they’ve drank twice in their life. Meanwhile, Freshmen from The Cape are finishing those assholes 30 packs, banging their girlfriends, getting breakfast and then going to class. No big deal, been doing it for years already.

So I guess Cape Cod is so famous that when they try to stop underage drinking, they only target people who didn’t grow up here. They don’t even try to stop us anymore.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Cape Cod Turf War! Acupuncturists Vs. Physical Therapists

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CCT – Democrats in the Cape and Islands delegation are prodding fellow legislators to require insurers to provide benefits for certain kinds of acupuncture treatments.

The legislation – co-sponsored by state Reps. Timothy Madden, D-Nantucket; Cleon Turner, D-Dennis; and Sarah Peake, D-Provincetown, among others – has drawn support from acupuncturists…

But the bill has proven prickly with physical therapists, fueling their ongoing feud with acupuncturists over a technique known as “dry needling.”

“To be perfectly honest, I know there is a controversy – you could even call it a turf war – over this issue of dry needling and whether it’s acupuncture or not,” Peake told the Times. “That’s a fight for another day.”

Acupuncture used to be considered experimental and “very unusual,” Peake said. With time, however, it has been embraced within the medical community – yet “most, if not all, coverage plans don’t cover it now,” she said.

This one could get ugly folks! A battle for the ages! Acupuncturists and Physical Therapists in a good old fashioned political wrangling that exactly 8 people care about!

I think I am going to have to side with the acupuncturists on this one. I mean jabbing people with needles is kind of their thing. Physical therapists may go to school for years to study the human body, but they didn’t go to needle prick class right? You can’t just go around doing something “experimental and very unusual” without proper training.

This would be like if podiatrists starting practicing voodoo and using chicken blood and powdered tree bark ointment to remove bunions. Don’t think for a second that a bunch of Haitian witch doctors wouldn’t get their reps to file legislation to stop it.

It would be one thing if we were talking about some non scientific medicinal practice, but we are talking about poking people with needles here. It has been embraced in the medical community to the point that “most, if not all, coverage plans don’t cover it…”

P.S.  “Prodding fellow legislators”? “The bill has proven prickly”? I see you what you did there.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Cape Craigslist Ad – Submission Wrestling

craigs
CLICK TO ENLARGE

Link to ad

Looking for guys that get into fighting , Submission wrestling. Not afraid to step outside and see who the alfa man is. Looking for a challenge , competitive submission fight.
Not looking to hurt anyone or go to hospital. Just school boy fight.

Bring it on for real> No sex! Man Up!

I was all ready to reply to this dude, but then I saw the part about no sex. Just slipped that in there like maybe I wouldn’t see it. Look, If I’m going to meet a random hairy man from Craigslist to wrestle, I am assuming that it will  lead to a game of tummy stix. If not, kick rocks buddy.

In all seriousness though, if you ever find yourself writing an ad where you are asking other grown men to meet up with you, and the content of that ad is such that you feel as though you need to include a “no sex” disclaimer?

You’re gay.

P.S. I have a gay friend and he said this is fine, so don’t email me calling me a homophobe.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Insane Tony’s Local Music Lunch Hour – Ceej McElroy (Mighty Ceej)

It’s hip-hop Friday here at The Real Cape headquarters. For the local music lunch hour we have picked one of the grinders of the cape music scene.

Ceej McElro (Mighty Ceej) is a workhorse and a staple of the deep hip-hop community here on The Cape. Peace, love and Hip-Hop is his motto and he brings that to every live show as well as his 5 full length studio albums. Ceej has shared the stage with some of the legends of the game, such as Talib Kweli, Nappy Roots, Slum Village, The Pharcyde, Pete Rock & CL Smooth, Masta Ace, and Marcelo D2.

His album “Stereo Fame” was recorded in L.A, at The Killingsworth studio, and his latest album “Out of the cave” was recorded in Boston at Echo studios with Robbie Rowland. He is back in the studio working on a new album as we speak.

If you are a fan of hip-hop you need to make sure to catch Ceej at one of his live shows. He will be performing next with Afroman on December 27th.

All of his albums are available for free download at mightyceej.bandcamp.com as well as itunes. You can also catch up with him on Facebook or Twitter

ceej

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Judge Orders Windmills To Work Less Hours Than Average Chinese Worker

wind

This really happened.

In a landmark decision, Barnstable Superior Court Judge Christopher J. Muse has sided with the Falmouth Wind Turbine Union. The union has been fighting for shorter  workdays and better benefits for years now.

The FWTU local #4 also negotiated a 12% pay raise across the board. Each Turbine will also be given 3 personal days and 2 additional sick days per year.

“We really felt as though we were being discriminated against” said Timothy Turbine yesterday. “Humans went through this during the industrial revolution, and now we feel it is our time to be treated fairly”.

The decision to decrease the turbines hours has been met with plenty of opposition, some even bordering on windotry. “This is a revolution” said Timothy “and we will fight until every windmill is judged solely by the fact that it is a citizen the U.S. and not by the amount of kilowatts it produces.”

Timothy also credited the great Dutch windmill uprising of 1762 with paving the way for windmill rights. “They may have been smaller, and made of wood, but we owe a lot to them and we can’t forget our history”. he said.

P.S. It’s official folks, Falmouth is off it’s rocker. Their windmills now work less hours and live a better life than HUMANS in 3rd world countries, even the Chinese have a tougher workload than Falmouth’s machines.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony