BOSTON – The Coast Guard seized more than 1,200 pounds of cocaine and detained two suspected smugglers during an at-sea interdiction, Monday, approximately 500 miles east of Cape Cod.

The drug shipment is estimated to have a wholesale value of more than $20 million.

On Monday, the crew of the Coast Guard Cutter Dependable interdicted the 49-foot sailing vessel Elegance, which claimed Canadian registry, after it was observed riding suspiciously low in the water.

After consultation with Canada, the Dependable crew boarded the Elegance, removed suspected contraband and detained two crew members. A test revealed the contraband to be cocaine.

Do you have any idea how much 1,200 pounds of cocaine is? That would last almost three days in Wareham.

ZING!

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Capecodonline.com — A fraudulent email last week created a stir among some Mashpee students with the claim that the district was holding a full day of school Saturday after a snow-related cancellation.

The email, purportedly from Superintendent Brian Hyde, announced that school would be in session Jan. 4, one day after blizzard conditions forced a cancellation. Scott McGee, chairman of the Mashpee School Committee, said in an email that the note “looked legitimate and was signed by a person posing as the superintendent.”

“It was definitely a hoax and there is no idea on who might have created and sent the email, or how many people received it,” McGee wrote. He said there was no investigation into the matter, but that district personnel “had a good chuckle because of it.”

Mashpee kids need to step up their game, has any school district ever made up a snow day on a Saturday in the history of life? If you want to create a fraudulent email hoax I’m pretty sure rule #1 is for it to be slightly believable. I don’t know a ton about hoaxes but I do know that if the chairman of your school committee and the district personnel “had a good chuckle because of it” then you failed miserably.

Mashpee Faculty- 1  Students – 0

Time to step up your game kids.

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Craigslist.org – I’m a hot, athletic build/curvy female seeking some “play time” tonight at my place. This involves tender touching, admiring, submissive breast work on me, etc. I’m looking for a female close to my age (20-27), that is also fit and is not in the erotic industry. I will be hosting so please understand this post is serious. Pay is $125 for 45 minutes of breast worship. Non smokers only and have a vehicle to get to me. Send photo and phone number. Calling is more efficient than emailing 🙂 Thank you!

Let me get this straight. A hot, athletic, curvy female is willing to pay $125 for someone to worship her breasts 45 minutes? Why does a hot twenty something need to pay someone for this? News flash, breasts are an extremely sought after commodity around here, I’m pretty sure you can find someone to “tenderly touch” them for free at any bar on The Cape.

I would just like to take this opportunity to let all of our female readers know that I provide non secular breast worship completely free of charge. No matter if you are Jewish, Catholic, Muslim or Buddhist I do not discriminate nor do I charge. I will tenderly worship your breasts to the point where they develop a god complex. Call me.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

So I want to start with saying Happy New Year to all The Real Cape peeps out there. Hope you all had a night full of saying Happy New Year to many people whom you could care less if they get diarrhea everyday in 2014. I am starting this year out with a new segment of reviewing music venues here on the cape. Today I look at one of the most infamous venues here, good ol’ Pufferbellies.

This place has more potential than Jackie Bradley Jr. But it seems it can’t get out of the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. You won’t hear about Pufferbellies for a few months then BAM, a stabbing or a car is left on cinder blocks or a featured musician did not show up. The list of acts pulling no shows is one witha few pretty big names on it. That list includes D.J Clue, Fabulous, and Ludicrous. Pulling the old no main act trick to a room of 1000 boozed up early 20 year olds usually goes over pretty well.  I am sure thats doesn’t add fuel to the fire at all, and get a few young, dumb and full of cum drunk dudes to go on a rampage.

To their credit they have pulled in a couple names to show up. DMX did show up, not sure how long he played for but at least they got him there. And I think Lil Poopy also made an apperence.

I mean it’s amazing to me that they cant pull more nationally touring acts. With a little love this place could be the spot. No other venue besides the Melody Tent holds that many people. But you keep mixing 18+ with 21+, bad things are gonna happen. From looking at their Facebook page they look like the U.N with all these Russian nights, Brazilian nights and I even saw a Brazilian/Irish night. Now thats an interesting evening, you got whiskey drinking Irish teens and skimpy dress wearing Brazilian girls, sounds like a recipe for a love connection. E-Harmony has nothing on that night a Pufferbellies.

So I hope Pufferbellies can make their New Years resolution and get their shit together and help out the live music scene here and start pulling in some big names. I mean why wouldn’t a musician want to come to beautiful Cape Cod in the summer and play in front of a 1000 people and make a few grand? So help us out Pufferbellies and get your shit together. The other major thing about this venues is that it is centrally located. It’s perfect to throw some major concerts. Everyone from P-town to Fal-town would be able to come buy your $6 cans of bud light.

This is part of one awesome review I read-“There was maybe like 15 cars in the lot. My friends and I were very happy we brought emergency drinks for the car since we were all dressed like tools. Ok maybe just I was. (Pics related)

After enough liquid courage we go inside, they have bouncers and security (they won’t let you bring drinks into the bathroom which I thought was kinda weird) but no pat downs, and they have a fully stocked bar.As people have said this place it EXPENSIVE for alch. Around 6 bucks for a beer in a can.

The image of when we walked in consisted of 5 people dancing in this massive place, and then 2 ‘customers’ pole dancing for this russian fat guy in the corner. The girls pole dancing looked like playmates, and the dude looked like a mobster.

Either way I’m down with that, if I was a fat russian mobster I’d probably hang at an 18+ rave with a fully stocked bar nearby with 2 ladies of the night pole dancing for me. So I can’t judge”. This dude nailed it.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Capecodonline.com – ORLEANS — For too long, humankind has suffered under the oppressive yoke of lined jeans that are bulky and stiff.

But now an enterprising surf shop owner and his compadres have tested the limits of pants physics in an epic quest for the perfect cold-weather pair.

The secret? Make ’em stretchy!

“These things are literally like butter,” said Shawn Vecchione, as he high-kicked around his Orleans surf shop. “I could sleep in them and be comfortable.”

Vecchione, owner of Vec Surfboards, was wearing a prototype pair of the Nor’Easter brand fleece-lined jeans that he helped design. He said he had been wearing the same pair almost continuously since October, shucking them only for washing.

When friends try a pair, “The first thing they say is, ‘I can do yoga in these,'” Vecchione said. “They’re that stretchy.”

Oh man are these things right in my wheelhouse. No joke I have been wearing the same pair of jeans every day since October. The only other pants I ever put on are my fleece NoGo pants. I named them this because when I have my NoGo pants on at home it means there is NO chance of me GOing anywhere. My point is that these Orleans Nor’easter Jeans have the potential to be game changers. A combination of jeans and NoGo pants? Yes please!

The part that supposedly makes them so much better than other lined jeans is where I get lost and start to question this though. Stretchy? You can do Yoga in them? Regular lined jeans do kinda suck and I love the idea of stretchy pants, I really do. In the winter I can gain 7 pounds in an hour just by having a pastrami sandwich and four beers at lunch. This stretchiness could potentially keep me out of jail because I won’t have to undo my button and loosen my belt in a public establishment anymore, but I just don’t think I can be seen in public in Yoga pants. I have a reputation on this peninsula and going to the bar in a pair of Lululemons isn’t going to maintain it.

If, on the other hand, these Nor’easter Jeans look and feel just like normal jeans on the outside then we have a deal. I need to get my hands on a pair of these things ASAP, and I will make a promise to all of you Cape Cod winterites who are equally perplexed and excited by the possibility of wearing your pajamas and jeans simultaneously on a daily basis. My promise is that if I get my hands on a pair of these I will put them through rigorous Cape Cod winter testing by laying on my couch for hours as well as sitting on the hardest of bar stools drinking and eating like a slob for entire afternoons.

Once I have come to a conclusion, I will let you all know if our prayers have truly been answered and someone has really come up with the perfect pants for winter on Cape Cod.

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Craigslist.org – Hello! My names Ashley. I specialize in the initial set in of dreadlocks using a backcomb crochet hook method, also maintaining dreadlocks so they are kept tight and clean. I can also remove, trim or dye dreadlocks.
I also make wool dread extensions of various colors and sizes.
I take pride in dreadlocks.

Prices starting at
200$ for a full head of dreadlocks,
100$ for a half head of dreadlocks,
or 20$ for each dread.

With each appointment of setting in new dreads you will receive a shower cap, crochet hook and a lesson on how to maintain your own dreadlocks.

Above are some pictures of my dreads, and some I have did.

I look forward to hearing from you and starting you on your dreadlocked journey

https://www.facebook.com/knottyashleydreads

This may not be the most popular mainstream opinion but man I love me some white girls with dreads. There is just something about that earth mother vibe that does it for me, I guess my pseudonym is Hippie for a reason.

With that said I just want to make a quick public service announcement for all the female hippies in training out there. The dready chick ensemble is all good, but if you have any interest in a long term boyfriend make sure to wash your hemp jewelry on a regular basis. I dated this girl from Vermont for a while and we’d probably still be together if she washed hers once in a while. Problem was every time we had sex it had to be doggy style because I didn’t want my face anywhere near her stinky ass hemp necklace.

The poor girl thought I wasn’t attracted to her and couldn’t look at her face. One moldy hemp necklace opened an entire Pandora’s Box of issues that would never have existed if she just tossed the thing in with the whites every once a while. So learn from my story all you white girls with dreads and you won’t end up with an inferiority complex that could have been avoided with 2 ounces of liquid Tide.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony