Here it is folks. The band schedule for Saturday’s festival. There are two stages so the energy will never stop, talk about a day jam packed with amazing music. This is gonna be a doozy.

• 12:00 – 12:20 – The Silent Trees
• 12:25 – 12:55 – Aaron Norcross Jr. and The Old Dogs
• 1:00 – 1:40 – Will Dailey Band
• 1:45 – 2:30 – Dub Apocalypse
• 2:35 – 3:25 – Daniel Byrnes Band
• 3:30 – 3:50 – Mighty Ceej
• 3:55 – 4:50 – Don McCloskey and Boombasnap
• 4:55 – 5:40 – Crooked Coast
• 5:45 – 6:40 – Spiritual Rez
• 6:45 – 7:55 – Pink Talking Fish
• 7:55 – 8:15 – Brazen Belles
• 8:20 – 9:55 – Zach Deputy

If there’s a better way to spend this Saturday on Cape Cod I’d like to see it. Remember it’s not just music, there will be all kinds of live art going on around the grounds including glass blowing, screen printing, sculpting, henna tattoo, we’ve got tons of the coolest vendors showing off their swag and of course plenty of food and beer. Lots and lots of beer.

Kids under 12 are free, you can bring in chairs, blankets etc. Get your tickets now because they are only $25 in advance but $30 at the door. Or for the ultimate experience check out our VIP packages.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Ten years ago, in 2004, 124 Piping Plovers fledged (were born and lived long enough to fly) on Cape Cod’s National Seashore. 124. Now, after 10 years of conservation. After closing miles of beaches to vehicles. After closing miles of beaches to humans. After placing cages around their nests. After banning drones. After banning kite surfing. After trying to murder crows with chemicals. After all of this, ten years later, do you know how many Piping Plovers hatched and lived (fledged) in 2014? 27. TWENTY FUCKING SEVEN! Less than 22% of the amount that were hatched and survived ten years ago. We are officially at Schiavo levels here folks. It’s time to pull the plug. There is just only so much you can do.

So please Mr. National Parks Head Bug Counter Guy, could we have our beaches back now? Maybe do a little camping? How about a little surfing? Maybe go fishing without having to walk 18 miles around a nest? Can a brother have a picnic up in here? Could the 215,888 of the humans that live here year round maybe enjoy our home again instead of being held hostage by 27 birds?

We gave you over 10 years to save them. You have failed miserably. It’s OK though, we won’t blame you, maybe the Plovers just aren’t cut out for life on Cape Cod. I know how hard this is for you Mr. National Parks guy, I’m sure it’s not easy when you realize you aren’t god. Most of us don’t remember that moment, since it happened to us when we were like 8 days old, but still, I’m sure it’s not easy, but it is definitely time.

P.S. Nauset spit has been closed for 8 years. Zero Piping Plovers survived there this year. ZERO.

P.P.S. Imagine the day the last Piping Plover finally dies and the ropes come down? It’ll be like caddy day at the pool at Bushwood Country Club.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

CapeCodOnline.com – Three hikers were rescued after they became stranded off Sandy Neck Beach on Monday, Barnstable fire Capt. Christopher Beal said.

At around 9:15 a.m. emergency responders were alerted to the hikers stuck on a sandbar as the tide rose, he said. A rescue boat was dispatched and brought the three to shore, Beal said.

There were no injuries.

What the hell? It takes six hours to go from low tide to high tide. Did these people go out on a sand bar and eat Turkey legs sprinkled with Ambien and wash it down with warm milk?  That’s the only explanation right? They had to be unconscious. If not how does nobody notice the ocean rising and the land disappearing over a six hour period.

P.S. In related news a man was attacked by a slug today. Initial reports stated that the man first noticed the slug heading towards him around 12 noon, he was unable to escape and the assault took place at 6 p.m.

DISCLAIMER: They weren’t rocket scientists, that was sarcasm.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

BostonGlobe.com – It’s summer on the Outer Cape, and that means the shrinks have once again returned. Each year, between Memorial Day and Labor Day, thousands of psychiatrists, psychologists, and other species of mental health professional bypass the bustle of the Mid-Cape to get to the comparative quiet of Wellfleet and its surrounding towns. It’s a natural phenomenon as reliable as the swells rising off Coast Guard Beach.

The therapists come here for various reasons, but a big one is that so many people in their line of work have come here before — going back three generations. The group I’ve joined on this day in late June evokes the summer excursions that Sigmund Freud himself took to Bavaria and the Swiss Alps a century ago, vacationing with his eager psychoanalyst students, who in turn were trailed by some of their patients.

Who knew? Talk about an untapped resource! Thousands of mental health professionals just happen to visit a place where we have an inordinate amount of lunatics? Hey shrinks, maybe instead of chilling on the beach you could do some investigating into what part of the brain makes a tourist incapable of using  a rotary? Or maybe you could give some electroshock therapy to people who light off fireworks during the day? Or how about trying to figure out why people in Hyannis put $10,000 rims on $2,000 Honda Civics? The possibilities are legitimately endless. Shit, they could spend years on Insane Tony alone.

P.S. Psychiatrists flying and driving to Wellfleet is NOT a “natural phenomenon”, it’s a decision manipulated by thought. A lunar eclipse is a natural phenomenon.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Liam Maguire’s brunch on Sunday Funday is now officially an institution. Last week was one of the best times we’ve had in a while. Great crowd, insane build your own Bloody Marys, nice mellow acoustic music and a perfect Sunday morning vibe, not to mention the food is incredible.

We try not to steer people wrong here at The Real Cape and Liam’s has definitely held up their end of the bargain. Sunday Funday is seriously our favorite day of the week at this point. There is no better way to cap off a weekend on Cape Cod than to indulge in a world class Bloody Mary.

Sunday Funday starts at noon with The Silent Trees playing some mellow acoustic music and the now famous Build Your Own Bloody Mary’s plus a great food menu. Just take a look at this pic and tell me it doesn’t look like something that is as hedonistic as it gets. Decadence at it’s finest… you owe it to yourself after a Cape weekend of debauchery.

Sunday Brunch

Breakfast Burrito

Scrambled eggs, bacon, cheese, and two hash browns with an avocado chipotle aioli.

Irish Breakfast

Two eggs cooked to order, two rashers, two bangers, black and white pudding, home fries, and a fried tomato. Served with brown bread.

Crab cakes Eggs Benedict

Two English muffins topped with jumbo crab cakes, Irish bacon, poached eggs and our own homemade hollandaisesauce. Served with home fries.

French Toast

Three slices of thick cut Sourdough bread dipped in our own cinnamon French toast batter. Served with a side fresh fruit.

Chicken & Waffles

Habanero Guinness waffles with two fried chicken breasts, smothered in Southern style white gravy, made with our own bangers. Served with REAL New England Maple syrup and pickled vegetables.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony