Kiteboarding Banned At The Seashore – We’ll Give You One Guess Why

kitesurfing – Kiteboarders are pushing back against bans in the protected waters off Cape Cod, but federal officials say the prohibitions are necessary because the kites scare away piping plovers and other threatened or endangered shorebirds from their traditional nesting areas.

Kiteboarding, or kitesurfing, is an increasingly popular sport that involves riding a surfboard while being pulled by a large kite.

In early June, the U.S. National Park Service decided to ban the sport along the Cape Cod National Seashore, which extends about 40 miles from Provincetown to Chatham. The ban is in effect from March 15 through Oct. 15 on both the oceanside and bayside of the protected area.

Now the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service is also considering a ban for Monomoy, a nearly 8,000-acre island refuge just south of the national seashore.

That proposal, which is part of the refuge’s long-term conservation plan, won’t take effect until 2015 at earliest, according to Elizabeth Herland of the Fish and Wildlife Service, which is hosting an open house to discuss the plan at the Chatham Community Center on Tuesday afternoon.

Federal officials say the bans are needed because piping plovers, roseate terns, red knots and other shorebirds can mistake the kites for predatory birds and flee their nests, leaving their chicks unprotected.

The disturbances also force the birds to expend precious energy at a time they should be resting and preparing for their migration to warmer climates as winter approaches.

This is it, it’s 100% official. The world has gone completely bananas. No wonder Piping Plovers can’t survive without humans wrapping them in bubble wrap and not allowing anyone withing 538 miles of them. They are fucking idiots. Natural selection will extinct the crap out of a species dumb enough to think a kiteboarder is a freakin’ Falcon. That’s pretty much exactly what natural selection is for, to weed out the things that suck at life.

What a bunch of pussies they are as well. A Piping Plovers reaction to thinking there is a predator threatening its family is to take off and leave its kids alone and vulnerable? Holy shit, can we just let these things die already? If you had a neighbor that was such a moron that every time a plane flew over his house he ran down the street thinking it was a Pterodactyl and left his babies behind, you’d probably hope natural selection would run his ass over with a Mack truck in mid stride.

Sorry, but if you are dumb and skittish enough to think a guy on a surfboard attached to a kite is going to murder your family then you deserve to die. If I thought all sailboats were giant sharks that were going to eat my house would we ban sailboats? No, they’d give me a lobotomy, and ship me off to some place with a giant Indian that doesn’t talk and throws sinks through windows.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Comments 8

  1. government pinheads and the birdbrains strike again…fun has been outlawed on the land and water, too, no doubt

  2. So… What do they plan to do to protect the screechy little fuckers when there's actual predatory birds flying about? Is there gonna be a great osprey hunt? If so, I need a gun, I totally want to shoot shit outta the sky "What's that? I just shot a piping plover? Sorry I thought it was a California condor flying really high. Say what? Ishot another one? Well it was totally fucking with that roseate tern. Somebody gotta do something to protect these little shits!"

  3. "Now the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service is also considering a ban for Monomoy, a nearly 8,000-acre island refuge just south of the national seashore." pretty sure the sharks will be enforcing that one and no law is necessary…

  4. If the kites are out over the water and the nests are on land, why is this even an issue? Does this mean that flying regular kites on the beach or dunes is also outlawed?

  5. Oh, Wendy ! … please help us understand. Please explain what's good for us. Please save all us poor idiots that don't have your wisdom… and please donate all discretionary income to the enviro lawyers.

Comments are closed.