From left to right: Pat Bonzagni owner of The Beach House Restaurant, Hippie, Insane Tony, Principal Laney Cooke-Johnson, Adjustment Counselor Claire Poole, PTO Co-Pres Ginger Croom, PTO Secretary Jeannette Michaud. Special thanks to Gina Palanza who was the driving force behind this.

Today we got to do something pretty cool. Thanks to you, our readers who came out to the Kale Soup contest, we were able to donate $1,000 to the Teaticket Elementary School PTO.

The really cool part is that the money is sending eight gifted children to a special 4 day camp this summer that is all about art, science and music which are all something that we think kids could use some more of these days.

So thanks again everyone, without our readers this isn’t possible and you guys are directly responsible for eight children being able to attend this camp. Kudos Real Cape.

P.S. To all of our haters… How many kids did you send to camp today? (sorry couldn’t help it)

Details on the camp HERE

For a second year, the Falmouth Public Schools will be partnering with the Cape Cod Conservatory of Music and Arts, Falmouth Art Center, Falmouth Museums on the Green, the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration, and the Salt Pond Areas Bird Sanctuaries for a 4-day “Inspired by Nature” experience. The program runs from Monday, June 30th to Thursday, July 3rd, from 9:00 AM to 1:00 PM each day.

This year’s theme will focus on bio-acoustics and how nature has inspired and shaped the way people communicate. Students will study sound as it moves through air, water, music, art, and history, exploring how whales sing, bats screech, and osprey squeak and how this varied knowledge has been transferred to inventions, works of art and music, and scientific discoveries.

Corine Adams, art teacher at Falmouth High School, and Dr. Linda Werner, technology teacher and STEM Curriculum Leader at Morse Pond, will be the lead teachers for this program, coordinating the learning activities with representatives from the other organizations.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

CapeCodOnline.com – The spring birthing season for gray and harbor seals has prompted marine mammal conservationists to issue warnings to the public to keep at least 150 feet away from the animals.

The chances of encountering a mother and pup or a lone pup along the shoreline in the Northeast is greatly increased at this time of year, officials with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) Fisheries Greater Atlantic Region said yesterday.

“A mother seal may just be off feeding, when someone comes across a seal pup on the beach,” according to Mendy Garron, who coordinates the marine mammal stranding program in the Northeast for NOAA. Garron is based in Gloucester.

“The best thing you can do if you want to help is keep away from the animal and keep your pets away from it, so the mother has a chance to return,” she said.

Oh hey neat! Another animal we have to alter our lives to avoid! I guess we have to add baby seals to the list of Piping Plovers, road toads etc. Oh and not only us but we need to keep our pets away from them as well.

Here’s my question, why doesn’t someone tell the baby seals to stay the fuck away from me? Hey baby seal, if you see me coming with a cooler full of Bud Light’s, a chair and an umbrella? You better give my ass a 150 ft. cushion, because once these Bad Larry’s go down there’s no telling how volatile I might get if you disturb my natural habitat. Just keep your distance if you don’t want a beach umbrella up your seal ass… mmmkay?

These animals need to learn to respect their elders. I’ve been going to the beach on Cape Cod for years, take your baby ass to some rock in the middle of the ocean where you belong. The only thing you’re doing around here is attracting sharks and eating up all the fish that should be on my grill. Basically what’s happening is you’re stealing our delicious striper lunch and turning us into dinner for Jaws, so hey baby seals, get the fuck off my peninsula.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

CapeCodOnline.com – Pete Hanlon sells his cranberries to a wide array of customers. That includes five Market Baskets including the Sagamore location, Big Y Supermarkets, several local stores and multiple jam businesses. But besides a one-and-done deal with a winery, Hanlon hasn’t sold to any liquor-based businesses. Until now.

P.J. Cranberries of East Sandwich has teamed up with Onyx Moonshine, a Connecticut distillery. The East Hartford company hopes to start selling cranberry moonshine with fruit from Hanlon’s bogs next month, said Onyx co-owner Adam von Gootkin. The distillery sells its moonshine in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island and upstate New York.

“I have no questions they like the product and I like their product,” Hanlon said, who sold the first order of cranberries to Onyx last fall. “I am impressed with their company and the people in the company.” Hanlon said the deal also gets him more exposure to a larger market area. The label for the cranberry moonshine includes information about Hanlon’s farm and the cranberry connection on Cape Cod. “People want to know where they are getting their food from and that is always the case,” he said.

Both von Gootkin and co-owner Peter Kowalczyk grew up spending summers on the Cape. They formed Onyx in 2011 and started trying out “infused” moonshine last fall with Connecticut honeycrisp apples. The cranberries are the second line, von Gootkin said.

Wait just a cranberry pickin’ minute here. A company is using Cape Cod cranberries to infuse their moonshine with and we don’t get a press release? Onyx, guys, I know you are in Connecticut but get with the program. If you want to reach everyone on Cape Cod who is a potential moonshine customer then the list begins and ends with The Real Cape readers. If this stuff is any good our Brewster readers alone will drink 90% of it. The only problem will be how to get it to them because nobody can figure out where the hell Brewster is, but you get the point.

Now here’s the real reason we are posting this; Somewhere in a carriage house, in a field on Cape Cod, there is someone already making cranberry moonshine who definitely isn’t sending press releases to the Cape Cod Times. If you are the Tickle of Cape Cod and you read this site please contact us immediately, we will sign a standard website/moonshiner confidentiality form and take it from there.

P.S. If someone should happen to show up for the Cape wide pub crawl with some cranberry moonshine, that person would not regret the decision one bit.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

CapeNews.net – A 23-year-old Bourne man who was shot last night in the vicinity of Trowbridge Road has died, Bourne police said.

Bourne Police Lieutenant Richard Silvestro said Antone Gutierrez was pronounced dead when he arrived at Boston Medical Center.

Bourne and state police are investigating the shooting, which occurred around the same time as a reported room invasion at the All Seasons Inn at 114 Trowbridge Road.

Lt. Silvestro said police initially responded to a report around 9:40 PM of a pedestrian accident on Trowbridge Road. The first officer to arrive found Mr. Gutierrez lying bleeding in the middle of the road. Police on the scene began first aid, notified Bourne Fire Rescue that the man had been shot, and requested additional police units.

Upon examining the victim, who had been shot in the lower abdomen, Deputy Fire Chief David Cody said Bourne Fire Rescue initially requested a Boston MedFlight helicopter to transport Mr. Gutierrez to a trauma center in Boston.

So on a day where everyone’s mind is already on a senseless tragedy we get this news of another senseless tragedy. What the fuck is going on around here? This isn’t Rwanda or even Detroit, we are on Cape Cod, what could possibly be so bad that people are murdering people?

I contemplated whether or not I should post this but this stuff needs to be out there as much as possible. The people responsible need to be found and justice needs to be served. Murder should be something that just doesn’t happen here, and when it seems like every single one goes unsolved, that doesn’t help much at all.

23 years old. Fuck.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Wwlp.com – The Center for Coastal Studies in Provincetown, Mass. Says it has removed approximately ten tons of fishing gear and other debris from the ocean floor during its second “Outer Cape Derelict Gear Assessment and Retrieval Program.”

Four commercial lobstering vessels from Provincetown took part in the March campaign. A spokeswoman for the center said the group has removed more than 320 wire lobster traps, a toilet, a stuffed doll, two anchors, and dozens of other items.

The recovered traps include 142 deemed intact. Most of those had identification tags and were claimed by their owners. Two dozen of them were transported to a holding facility where they will be auctioned off.

I first read this as “Outer Cape Derelict Retrieval Program” and I thought Arthur Bonzarelli and Insane Tony must be stuck in Wellfleet without a ride home or something. Turns out they meant they retrieved 10 tons of debris from the ocean floor. Ten tons!

Look, this is great and all, it’s always nice to know someone is cleaning up our mess but ten tons? If they retrieved ten tons of crap from the ocean how much other shit is floating around out there? This seems to me like a band aid on the real problem. Maybe someone should look into why all this stuff is there in the first place and maybe upgrade the way that this gear is tethered to the boats in the first place?

The big question mark is the stuffed doll though. Is there some gruffy fisherman crying himself to sleep every night because his Dora the Explorer doll went overboard in a Gale? Poor bastard is probably kicking himself for not making her wear her survival suit at all times.

P.S. Should we start a Go Fund Me page to raise money for Diego so he can buy Dora back at the auction?

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Remember, the more nominations a bar received the higher the seed we gave it in the tournament. So remember, if you have a problem with the rankings don’t blame us, blame yourselves.

When the tournament is over we will be doing an unprecedented pub crawl. The Real Cape Crew and those of you who choose to join us on the bus (or 2) will go on the most epic journey in the history of pub crawls by drinking in a dive bar in every single town on Cape Cod in one day. To say it will be insane would be the understatement of the year.

So let’s get to the voting, below are the Bracket B first round matchups. Please scroll down to vote for every matchup and share this so that we get it out there across The Cape and give every bar a fair shot. If you haven’t voted for Bracket A yet you can do so HERE.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Here we go, we asked you the readers on Twitter and Facebook to nominate the best dive bars across Cape Cod and you answered the call in droves. We have counted the hundreds of nominations and put the top 32 into a bracket tournament. The more nominations a bar received the higher the seed we gave it in the tournament. So remember, if you have a problem with the rankings don’t blame us, blame yourselves.

When the tournament is over we will be doing an unprecedented pub crawl. The Real Cape Crew and those of you who choose to join us on the bus (or 2) will go on the most epic journey in the history of pub crawls by drinking in a dive bar in every single town on Cape Cod in one day. To say it will be insane would be the understatement of the year.

So let’s get to the voting, below are half of the first round matchups, with the other half to follow shortly. Please vote and share this so that we get it out there across The Cape and give every bar a fair shot.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony