CapeCodTimes.com – After eyeing a piece of haddock on the supermarket counter, a customer scans a code and finds out the fish was caught in the waters of Georges Bank and learns the name of the fishing boat — and maybe even sees a picture of the smiling, rain-slickened fisherman who reeled it in. Welcome to the future of buying New England seafood.

Gulf of Maine Research Institute in Portland is developing the tool, which was recently awarded a $175,000 federal government grant, in cooperation with Maine Coast. Final release is about two years away and will likely take the form of a smartphone app, said Jen Levin, the institute’s sustainable seafood program manager.

Sweet, it’s like Tinder for getting fish. Scan that Striper and if a pic comes up of some scrub in a dinghy off the coast of Warwick you can just swipe left and move on to the next fish. If you scan a lobster and some strapping young lad in a shiny boat near Chatham pops up you can swipe right with confidence knowing that your lobster comes from a good family and probably won’t steal the painkillers out of your medicine cabinet.

This will probably cut down on shell fish driven food born illness as well. It’s much easier to avoid that soft shell crab sandwich when you scan it with your app and realize it came from some Guido boat off of the Jersey Shore and probably has Chlamydia. With Fisherman Tinder you can just swipe left and save yourself a trip to the clinic!

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I just came in from walking my dog and these green caterpillars were all over both of us. In my hair, my beard, it’s disgusting. I’ve had it, they are worse than empty Fireball nips and Newport packs. Are these things worse after a snowy winter or something? I don’t remember them ever being this bad. They are so soft and squishy and gross and… and… green.

Also, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but they’re like acrobats. I purposely didn’t go anywhere near any trees on our walk, but somehow these little bastards are just floating around in mid air and clinging to us. How many people do you think accidentally ate one on their Memorial Day hot dog this weekend? Let’s just hope they all turn into moths and fly into a bug zapper soon because it’s getting to the point where I feel like they are all over me, all the time.

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Globe – It’s the most enduring of Cape Cod rituals, the snarl of traffic that traps drivers desperate to cross the canal.

Now the state Department of Transportation is advancing a way to ease the pain: a new bridge, funded by private investors.

The agency has focused on the possibility of adding a three-lane span next to the Sagamore Bridge. It would be limited to Cape-bound traffic, and drivers would pay a toll to use it. The Sagamore, meanwhile, would become a one-way, three-lane bridge to handle traffic coming off the Cape, with no toll.

A formal effort is underway to find private investors willing to pay for highway projects in exchange for toll revenue.

Oh yeah, this is a FANTASTIC idea. Add another bridge, but make said bridge and the Sagamore both one way? And they are each only three lanes? And have the one with the traffic coming to the Cape be a TOLL BRIDGE? You have to be kidding me.

What genius came up with a plan that only adds one more lane of traffic coming to Cape Cod, and then adds a toll booth to them all? And I don’t want to hear about the automatic toll paying systems. WAY more people don’t have those in their cars than do. 80% of traffic is still going to have to come to a dead stop on this new bridge.

First we hear they are putting a Dunkin’ Donuts at the Bourne Rotary and now this? Why not just put a Dunkin’ inside every toll booth and kill two birds with one stone. If you are gonna make everyone stop at the bridge anyway, you might as well stuff a couple of munchkin’s and a medium iced down their throats. Maybe even throw a gas station up there while you’re at it, why not right, what’s the hurry?

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Boston.com – If you need another example of why town politics in New England are always fun, just cross over the Sagamore Bridge and head to Sandwich.

There you’ll find David Darling, a former member of the town’s planning board who came dead last in a recent election for a seat on the board of selectmen. He has an idea that may improve his fortunes in future elections: he wants to open up more public land for posting campaign signs—including town cemeteries.

According to the Times, Darling spent most of his campaign cash on signs, but he struggled to find people who would post them.

Doesn’t get much sadder than this folks. Dude Guy spent all his campaign funds on signs but didn’t have enough friends to put them all up? He’s like the guy that spends all his money buying strangers rounds at the bar and they still don’t invite him to the after party.

It is our duty to respect our dead and put a stop to this, they can’t speak for themselves so we must speak for them. If people that are alive don’t like this guy enough to let him put his signs in their yards, we have to assume that dead people wouldn’t like him either, right? Just because they’re dead doesn’t mean they don’t have rights.

I mean come on, is nothing sacred anymore? This is the final resting place for these people, there’s just no room for exploiting the dead in politics. If Dude Guy wants to exploit people for his personal political gain, he should have to do it just like every other politician and exploit the living, breathing, hard working people. At least we know when politicians are exploiting us, the dead people won’t know what the hell happened.

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Tickets are moving fast, don’t forget to get yours in advance.

Come party with us on a booze cruise around Vineyard Sound and Woods Hole on the Island Queen with music from everyone’s favorite good time band, Puffy Elvis. There will be a full bar, complimentary hors d’oeuvres, great music, and good people. Oh and it’s on a boat. What better way is there to kick off the summer season?

It all goes down Saturday, May 30th, the boat leaves at 7 p.m. sharp, you better be on it!

Get your tickets soon, there are a limited amount and this is probably going to sell out fairly quickly. It’s a booze cruise, if you’ve never been on one you will realize why and be hooked immediately. Tix below…

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From the Searching For The Motherlode Facebook Page–

A group exhibit of paintings, prints and sculpture representing a cross section of styles and eras from Provincetowns’ storied history, vibrant present and bright future. In “Searching for the Motherlode”, we collected an eclectic group of artists and their work and are presenting it pop up style for 4 days only over the Memorial Day weekend.

The exhibit is curated by Motherlode.tv and features the work of Vicky Tomayko, Joey Mars, Cassandra Complex, Bob Gasoi, Richard Pepitone, Karen Cappotto, Silas Finch, Andrew Jacob, Michael Koehler, Dominique Pecce, Matty Briggs, Jessica Teffer, Adam O’Day, and Brooks Whelan Sr.

The Camp Provincetown Pop-Up Gallery is inspired by the 100th anniversary of the Provincetown performance of Neith Boyce’s 1915 play Constancy which ushered in a new era of revolutionary art, theater, politics, books, music and film at the tip of Cape Cod. The exhibit opens Friday May 22nd at 7pm with the artists reception. The exhibit will be up for 4 days only ending Monday evening of the Memorial Day weekend 2015.

Friday, 7 pm – Woodman/Shimko Gallery, 398 Commercial Street, Provincetown, MA 02657

If you are anywhere near the tip, I highly suggest you get to this opening. When I saw the list of featured artists I went temporarily blind as if I had just stared into an eclipse, that’s how good it is.

This definitely isn’t going to be your grandma’s art show full of Adirondack chair and Beach Plum watercolors. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, this just ain’t it. This is the good stuff, the edgy stuff, the stuff that makes you feel a little nervous when you look at it and doesn’t apologize for it. Dare I say, the REAL stuff.

We were lucky enough to get a few teaser pics of a few of the works being shown. These are a tiny slice of what will be there, but will give you a sense of how eclectic a mix of styles and mediums will be represented…

Join The Facebook Event Page By Clicking Here

 

Go.

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I have a question. How does someone not know if they are “adventurous” enough to enjoy a purple pleasure sling? That’s a pretty specialized piece of equipment, it’s not like buying a pair of pants and then realizing that they just don’t fit right. Like, I know I’m not a leopard print Speedo guy. I don’t need to buy one and try it to make sure. Basically, if you have a drawer or shelf dedicated to flavored lubricants and sex toys, go ahead and get yourself a purple pleasure sling. If not, save your money.

One thing I can tell you for sure is if I did buy the purple pleasure sling and decided it wasn’t for me, I would eat the $50. Nothing like telling 30 thousand or so people on the internet that while you thought you were a freak in the sack, sadly, it turns out that you aren’t. Might as well wear a T-Shirt that says “Missionary With The Lights Off And Socks On Is How I Roll”.

P.S. You know you want to Google those missing instructions. Go ahead and do it.

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