BARNSTABLE — A Plymouth woman who worked at a Hyannis jewelry store was charged Monday with stealing and pawning around $30,800 worth of the jeweler’s goods…

After the store owner told Barnstable police he suspected McKinnon had taken other items, police allegedly found 25 transactions for about $25,000 worth of jewelry at two pawn shops in Plymouth and Hyannis.

The owner of the Plymouth shop told police that McKinnon came back in September, admitted what she had done and paid him $4,775, which she said came from her bank account, to cover the jewelry police seized.

But when they spoke with McKinnon about the alleged crimes, she admitted the money came from more jewelry she had pawned for $5,000 at another pawn shop, police said.

This might be my new favorite Crazy Cape Cod Criminal. Let me get this straight. This lady stole jewelry, and sold it at a pawn shop. When she felt bad that police seized the jewelry, she paid the pawn shop back “with money from her account” that was just money from pawning other stolen jewelry at a different pawn shop. Wait, what? Who’s on first?

So to make up for the fact that she sold stolen goods to a pawn shop, she sold different stolen goods to a different pawn shop. That my friends is like making up for punching someone in the face, by punching his brother in the nuts.

What’s with stolen gold getting seized from a pawn shop anyway? I always thought it was an unspoken agreement and everybody knew that pawn shops are places to fence stolen jewelry. I didn’t think that was a question of legality, I just thought that’s the way it is. If you have jewelry that is not stolen I thought you sold it to a jewelry place? And if you have jewelry that is stolen you take it down to Big Hoss and Chumlee and pawn that shit right?

I would never dream of telling the police how to do their business, I’m just saying I’m not so sure we should be messing with the age old symbiotic relationship between the pawn shops and the scumbags. Seems like we just shouldn’t screw with the balance of nature.

Two Brockton girls steal a car and get chased to The Cape. No it’s not the start to a joke about herpes, it’s an actual headline in the news today.

SANDWICH – A vehicle allegedly stolen by two teenage girls in Brockton crashed into a sign at a Sandwich Stop & Shop this morning as State Police gave chase, spokesman David Procopio said.

At about 8:10 a.m., State Police were called about a vehicle being operated erratically on Route 3 southbound, near the Jordan Road overpass in Plymouth, police said. A trooper in the area located the vehicle, confirmed erratic operation and tried to stop the car, police said.

A shift commander at Troop D authorized the trooper to pursue the vehicle after the driver allegedly ignored an initial attempt to stop it, police said.

During the pursuit, police “learned that the suspect vehicle had been stolen earlier this morning in Brockton when the owner left it warming up with the keys inside it,” Procopio wrote in an email.

Police chased the vehicle south on Route 3, over the Sagamore Bridge and off Exit 1 where the vehicle got onto Route 6A. Once in Sandwich, the car crashed into a sign in the Stop & Shop parking lot, police said. The two teens inside the car allegedly fled on foot, but were caught by troopers who took them into custody.

No one was injured in the pursuit or crash, police said.

What are we Mexico now? A couple Brockton bitches steal a car and make a run for The Cape border like the cops will just stop at the bridge and let them live happily ever after? What’s the long term plan here? Catching the P-Town ferry to Boston?

Here’s a tip for anyone in Brockton thinking about pulling a Thelma and Louise and heading to The Cape like these two brain surgeons. If you are getting chased by the police, it is best to not head towards a dead end peninsula with only two routes on and off. It’s car chase 101 really.

Head west assholes you’ve got thousands of miles in that direction.

Big thanks to P.T.M.  for the tip

Barstool U – Holy shit I love this chick.   Just getting ANNIHILATED with beers and mixed drinks and not relenting on her troll game literally one iota.  Taking cans and cups and liquids straight to the dome and not even flinching.  Pretty sure I even heard  a glass shatter against Tommy right next to her face.  Did she give a fuck?  Nope, UCLA bitches.  You want to get me off your precious statue you’re gonna have to do a lot better than smashing my skull in with full handles.

Yeah well, there’s a reason why you love her and it’s the same reason she doesn’t give a fuck Kmarko. She’s a Masshole. Even better, she’s from The Cape. Falmouth to be exact. Her name is Aimee and when I talked to her earlier, she agreed that being from here definitely contributed to her badassness. If you need to know how Cape Cod has a hand in this please refer to this post.

I guess you can take the girl off The Cape, but you can’t take The Cape out of the girl.

We received an email recently concerning our tagline. It seems that some people write it Some are people, summer not, as opposed to our version of Summer people, some are not.

They both have their pros and cons and it’s a tough decision so we decided to put it to a vote. Let us know what you think below:

Full Story – Gov. Deval Patrick on Monday filed a lawsuit seeking to block a proposed gaming facility on Martha’s Vineyard.

Patrick is asking the Supreme Judicial Court to affirm a 1983 land settlement between the Commonwealth and the Wampanoag Tribe of Gay Head in which the state contends the tribe forfeited its right to tribal gaming on the island.

The Aquinnah Wampanoag last month released an opinion sought by the tribe from the National Indian Gaming Commission that found the tribe had rights to operate a gaming facility on its tribal land on Martha’s Vineyard without a license from the state.

Citing that opinion, the tribe announced plans for a temporary gaming parlor as soon as possible on the site of an unfinished community center in Aquinnah, and said it would petition the Patrick administration to open gaming compact negotiations for a full-scale casino on the island.

You know I always look for the silver lining in things. If you think about this, it is really a sign of progression. Control of gambling revenue used to be something that was fought over by the old boy network on capital hill. Connected old men with expensive suits would pass laws and give out lucrative jobs at the Mass Lottery to their cronies.

But now fights that were once reserved for old crusty white dudes are being argued by those who were once not even in the discussion. Just the realization that the next sentence I write is a factual statement today is a sign of growth.

In the battle over the legal control of millions and possibly billions of dollars, we just had a black dude sue the Wampanoags.

Just imagine if you said that sentence to the people in power 50 years ago. They would laugh in your face, at least now it’s just another sentence.