CapeCodOnline.com – Although Hersey at first claimed not to have been drinking, she later told police she had a glass of wine and then said she also had a Long Island Iced Tea, according to the police report.

She then added to that list, according to the report.

“I had a little beer. And a shot. When I stopped at the packie to get beer, what the hell, I’ll get Fireball too,” she told police, according to the report. Police found a six-pack of beer in the car, including an open container, according to the report.

Hersey was charged with operating under the influence of liquor, second offense; possessing an open container of alcohol in a motor vehicle; child endangerment while operating a motor vehicle; not securing a child within the ages of 6 to 12 with a seat belt; and a marked lanes violation.

Holy shit sweetheart, talk about loose lips sinking ships! It’s not very smart to tell police the entire laundry list of booze you’ve been drinking after you get pulled over. You came out of the gates fine with old “Oh I just a glass of wine” trick, but you have to end it there. It’s like this lady is Jim Carrey in Liar, Liar! or something. Don’t tell them about the Long Island Iced Tea, that is legitimately the strongest cocktail known to man. That’s like if a parent asked their teenager if they’ve been smoking weed and the kid was like “Oh, not really, just had a little heroin with lunch”.

Then all of a sudden this chick turns into a frat boy bragging to his friends about how much he drank the night before. “Some beer, shots, oh and what the hell, Fireball too”? Jesus Christ lady you just admitted to drinking wine, cocktails, beer, shots, AND Fireball? You could have saved us all some time. When the cop asked you what you had to drink, you should have just answered… “EVERYTHING”!

P.S. The little kid in the car with no seat belt on is a nice touch as well. We are definitely working with a brain surgeon here.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

We just added a new design from Connor in our Shop. They have a pretty simple concept;

High Tide = Full Beer. Low Tide = Empty Beer. We kept it nice and subtle with our logo as the beer label.

Doesn’t get much more Real Cape than that, the Real Capers know that low tide stinks! Available in Men’s and Women’s Premium T’s in an assortment of colors. CLICK HERE to order.

 

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CapeCodOnline.com – Town leaders hope to meet with state highway officials about Route 6, following a fatality on Tuesday and an hourslong traffic jam on Saturday after a three-car crash.

The death of Wende Harrison, 54, of Eastham, at Kerouach Road, after her minivan taxi crossed the center line and crashed into two vehicles, is the first fatality on Route 6 this year, Police Chief Ron Fisette said.

But there have been 48 vehicle crashes on the road this year, and there were two fatalities in August 2013, one when a driver veered across the center lane near the Truro town line and the other when a teen bicyclist was hit while crossing the highway.

There have been seven fatalities, including the bicyclist, on Route 6 in Wellfleet from 2007 until Tuesday, Fisette said.

The neighboring town of Eastham has had four fatalities along the road during the same time period, an Eastham police official said Wednesday. Truro has had two, based on reports in the Times archives.

“In my mind, business as usual can’t continue,” said Rep. Sarah Peake, D-Provincetown. After learning about Harrison’s death on Tuesday, Peake sent an email to Wellfleet Town Administrator Harry Terkanian asking if town leaders would be interested in a meeting with state officials and others who have control over the highway or might have input on its weaknesses.

There have been fatalities in Wellfleet both this August and last, Peake noted.

So, State Reps and Town Leaders are finally realizing how ridiculously dangerous Route 6 is? Maybe someone has been reading The Real Cape, seeing as we brought this issue up about 4 months ago. On April 24th I wrote a blog called: “Is Route 6 The Most Dangerous Road In The Universe?“.

Here is an excerpt:

The following shows the results of an internet wide, news filtered (very high tech) search of “route 6 Cape Cod”…

 

Look at those results, Google doesn’t lie folks.

All kidding aside, there really seems to be a major accident and shutdown on Route 6 every single day. Maybe it’s because Cape Cod has a disproportionate number of old people. Maybe people on Cape Cod are always in a rush. Maybe the road is cursed.

Is The Real Cape changing the world? Less than a month ago we won The Nobel Prize, and now we are just blazing trails for State Reps and town leaders to walk through 4 months later. It’s too bad they decided against a Mayor of Cape Cod because I think it’s pretty obvious who the front runner would be. Oh well, I guess for now we’ll just have to keep being right about everything and giving the silent majority a voice. Hopefully the powers that be will catch up with us on a few other issues soon.

P.S. Yes I know you’ve all been thinking this about Route 6 for years as well, that’s the point. The silent majority needs to take back The Cape.

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CL – QUICK! Is is ok to use a large ziploc baggie as a condom? (Cape Cod)

I’m trying to convince her it’s ok…she’s not having it…what should i say…I’ve tried everything

Come on man, what the hell kind of question is this? Of course you can’t use a large Ziploc bag as a condom. This type of misinformation is exactly how unwanted pregnancies happen. What is sex ed coming to these days, where are the parents?

Everyone knows that Hefty Slider Click Lock Freezer Bags are the only style you can use as a prophylactic.

P.S. You’ve “tried everything”? Anyone care to speculate as to what type of genius ideas this kid exhausted on a journey that ended with trying to use Ziploc bags as condoms?

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NECN – Experts say at least four great white sharks were spotted just off Cape Cod on Monday.

The Atlantic White Shark Conservancy says the sharks were spotted around Shark Cove in Chatham, Massachusetts by spotter pilot Wayne Davis.

The sharks were in deep water, which created a challenge for Dr. Greg Skomal to get GoPro footage for a population study, according to the conservancy.

I think I might be having a change of heart when it comes to sharks. Having seen what a total crock of shit Shark Week was on Discovery I am just not as scared as I was before. They had an entire year to come up with some shocking footage of bad ass shark stuff and they ended up with 75% fake crap that they called fictional documentaries.

What on earth is a “fictional documentary”? That has to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Documenting something that didn’t happen is like playing Quidditch for real. It might be slightly entertaining to a total nerd, but it’s still just trying to base reality on fantasy.

So the bottom line here is I’m starting to think Great Whites might be overrated. Four of them were out there all day yesterday and didn’t snack on one person? After all those posts about how we should all get out of the water can I at least get a leg bite? These sharks are making me look foolish with all this swimming around harmlessly crap. Fuck this, I’m going swimming in a seal suit doused in walrus piss cologne just to prove myself right, these sharks need to stop being such pussies.

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WL – “Here we come U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service,” Selectman Sean Summers said after the board approved hiring consultants to protect the town’s historical rights.

And “we” is appropriate as officials are asking town meeting to fund three, maybe four, firms at a cost of $300,000 to develop scientific and legal arguments showing that current fishing practices in the Monomoy National Wildlife Refuge and the current border of the refuge need to remain as is. The new draft comprehensive conservation plans put out by refuge staff this spring all curtail some forms of fishing – including mussel harvesting – and also expand the refuge to include 771 acres that is now South Beach.

Maybe this is just what Cape Cod needs in order to start really fighting for change. Maybe the local Cape Cod Fun Police and we, the silent majority who want them stopped, just needed a common enemy. What better enemy than the Feds? They already have most of us pissed about The Piping Plover catastrophe, The National Seashore is a shitty neighbor, and now they want to take 771 acres that includes one of OUR beaches.

This might be a galvanizing moment for us normal people and the local Fun Police to join forces and work together. It’s sort of like that friend you’ve had since you were a kid. You and all of your friends make fun of him, but if anyone outside of your circle does it, you all immediately protect him. Sure, he’s a tool, but he’s your tool.

Well that outsider is The U.S. Fish and Wildlife service and our circle is Cape Cod. It will be interesting to see how this fight pans out. The one thing I do know is that if you are from The Cape and you side with the Feds on this, then you can get the fuck off our peninsula because we protect our own, tools or not.

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Wikipedia – Trainor was born in Nantucket, Massachusetts on December 22, 1993. She grew up in Nantucket with a musical family. She has been writing songs since she was 11 years old. When Trainor was 13, her parents bought her a computer so she could produce songs. The family later moved to Cape Cod, Massachusetts so Trainor and her two brothers could attend Nauset Regional High School in nearby North Eastham, Massachusetts.

So I read about this at Barstool the other day, but they only mentioned the born on Nantucket thing so I kinda wrote it off. I assumed she was probably the kid of some rich music mogul who spends 8 minutes a year on the island. To tell you the truth I was much more shocked that she was white than I was that she was born on Nantucket.

So for some reason the story stuck in my head and I decided to Google her today. It turns out she legit lived on Nantucket and then moved to The Cape and went to Nauset High School. So now we have a white girl from Cape Cod singing a song about having junk in her trunk, always pronouncing the “th” sound as “da” (ie: ‘dat, ‘da), all while calling out the fashion industry and “skinny bitches”.

I for one could not be more confused and proud at the same time. Cape Cod doing big things by sending a curvy white girl into the world with the soul of a sista’ from the Caribbean? Count me in and chalk me up as a Meghan Trainor fan for life.

P.S. Born in 1993. Here we were thinking we are all Cape cool with our few hundred thousands readers a month and along comes a 20 year old Cape Codder with over 20 million YouTube views and the #4 song in the country to make us feel old as shit, and knock us down a few pegs.

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