Hocus Pocus, A Golden Retriever From Marstons Mills, Winner At Westminster

hocus pocus marstons mills

Well she kinda won I think. She won Best of Opposite Sex, so I guess that’s second? Unless all the boy dogs were ahead of her or something? I don’t know anything about dog shows because I don’t have a Queen Elizabeth skirt suit and a pair of comfortable flats. Looking at the result codes it looks like everyone might get a ribbon for something though…

result code westminster

Either way we’ll take it. Cape Cod dogs dominating the world isn’t really surprising. #1 Billboard hits, Major League pitchers, world champion windsurfers and Westminster champion bitches is just what Cape Cod does.

P.S. When will the dog world just call it a day with the whole calling the females bitches thing? Think about how much power they are wielding, change that name and the word bitch in reference to a woman is immediately disarmed. They could just pull an NStar, just change the name and pretend nothing bad ever happened.

thanks to Rhonda for the tip

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VIDEO: Just Your Average Morning Commute To Boston During Snowpocalypse

 

Turn your volume up, the commentary is hilarious.

Sweet Jesus! If this happens when we aren’t dealing with Armageddon it shuts down the highway. During Snowpocalypse? Nobody even skips a beat. When it’s been weeks of broken subways and 5 hour commutes not one person gives a shit about your little rollover if there’s still room to get by.

Sorry station wagon, you weren’t expecting help from a Masshole when it’s the end of the world outside were you? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

thanks to Rich Mannillo for the video and the great commentary

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You Could Walk Across Buzzards Bay From Cape Cod To New Bedford Right Now

buzzards bay ice

 

Photo credit: Joe Cavanaugh 

Portuguese rejoice! If per chance they should close the bridges you can still make get your linguica by embarking on a pilgrimage to Gaspar’s on foot!

P.S. “still make get” was 100% a typo, I caught it before publishing this but left it in because it’s actually perfect Portuguese-American grammar.

P.P.S. Cue the Amaral’s is better comments. Or god forbid we may even get some Old Neighborhood comments from people who wouldn’t know good linguica if their Mary on the half shell lawn ornament came to life and hit them over the head with it.

mary half shell

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Cape Cod Got Crabs From Europeans And They Are Attacking Our Hogs And Clams

crabs

CapeNews.net – This spring, the town will set traps up and down Green Pond in hopes of catching and eradicating, or at least reducing, the population of the invasive green crab, one of the worst soft-shell clam predators.

“They’re voracious and prolific,” said Marine and Environmental Services fisheries technician Matthew V. Weeks. He blames the invasion of the European crabs in part for the nonexistent commercial soft-shell clam, or steamer, fishery in Falmouth.

They have caused the depletion of shellfish resources in other areas of New England as they also feed on oysters, quahogs and mussels, Mr. Weeks said. They are also known to mow down eelgrass that many shellfish use for their habitats.

Scientists believe the green crabs journeyed to North America in the ballast of Europeans ships in the late 1800s.

This is one of the biggest problems with being a global vacation destination, you let a few of the wrong ships in your port in your early years and you end up getting crabs from some Eurotrash. The next thing you know nobody is harvesting your once abundant soft clam.

It’s not surprising that our marshes caught crabs when you think about it. What’s with all the eel grass? Maybe if we start shaving so our coastline doesn’t look like a jungle the crabs might die off. This is Cape Cod for crying out loud, not the set of some ’70’s porno. Time to clean it up.

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Cape Tourism Officials Hoping For Influx Of February Vacation Visitors… No, Really.

denial

CapeCod.com – It has been a struggle for most Cape businesses this winter, but tourism officials are hoping February vacation will be a boost for local hotels.

With schools out across the commonwealth, this week has historically proven to bring an influx of off-season visitors to the Cape.

“We do get a really good shot in the arm for school vacation in February and then again in April. What’s different about it is that it tends to be really concentrated in the hotels and the B&Bs,” said Cape Cod Chamber of Commerce CEO Wendy Northcross.

Although this snow-filled winter might be driving some vacationers north, Northcross said that the Cape has long been an alternative to the Green Mountains of Vermont and the White Mountains of New Hampshire during February break.

Bahahahahaha! Good one! Oh man what a funny article, this had me rolling in the six foot snowbank outside of my house.

In related news, we here at The Real Cape are hoping for a huge influx of overly sensitive, politically correct readers from Idaho.

Seriously though, we are certainly not knocking Wendy Norcross, she is a trooper, staying positive is her job and it’s admirable that she is sticking to her guns, but… Bahahahahaha!

P.S. What will happen first, an influx of vacationers to Cape Cod this winter, or the LAPD getting a lead in Jeff Lebowski’s stolen car case?

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This Quote From The Rescued “Sailors” Will Make You Puke In Your Mouth

darwin

From the Cape Cod Times…

According to the Newport News, the Sedona was owned by Jason McGlashan, who purchased it on eBay, the online auction site, for $10,000. Jason McGlashan told the paper he and his father, Reg, planned to make the 8,600-nautical mile voyage to Port Macquarie, Australia, over six to eight weeks.

“We’ve never done anything like this. Dad’s not even a sailor, but he’s a quick study,” Jason McGlashan told the Newport Daily News. “We’ve got plenty of food, plenty of booze, good sails and all the safety gear you could ever need, so we’re going to be OK.”

I said before that these two should be banned from America. Well, I changed my mind. These two should do jail time. I’m not even joking. Lock them up and put a plaque on their cell wall with their own quote on it. Under the quote plaque hang photographs of every Coastie that has ever died rescuing civilians at sea.

Jason McGlashan and his father have no respect for mother nature, no respect for science, and they have no respect for their fellow man. Get these morons out of the general population before they kill someone.

P.S. “Dad’s not even a sailor” is the understatement of the year.

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