CCT – I have two daughters and we occasionally visit Herring Cove Beach in beautiful Provincetown. If I object to people with penises showering in the open bathhouse at Herring Cove with them, I will be labeled evil, narrow-minded, racist, bigot and whatever labels the leftists can create.

This is completely wrong. And what boundaries do those in the elite left set for their daughters? Hopefully one is not showering in the company of strange men or a person with a penis.

Paul Shaw

Apparently this dude thinks democrats let their daughters shower with R. Kelly and Bill Cosby or something? which I’m pretty sure isn’t true? Any leftists care to clear that up?

But here’s the thing dude guy, You are the one letting your daughters wear their birthday suits in the public showers of P-Town. So maybe YOU might want to re-think YOUR parenting strategy as a whole. Maybe you need to make some fundamental changes starting from the ground up.

Also, if you think the company of strange men or people with penises is “completely wrong”? You might want to stop at the Truro line the next time you head down Cape, because it’s pretty much nothing but strange men and chicks with dicks from that point on my friend.

P.S. You have daughters… and dicks exist… Someday you will need to come to grips with that.

P.P.S. We crossed out his name in case some of his friends don’t know he has a “random flying dicks in the shower” phobia, we wouldn’t want to embarrass anyone.

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“Tourists loved them,” manager Taylor Evangelista said.

The shop, with the help of local artists, created T-shirts that sell like hotcakes featuring the birds. One has a black turkey—a spoof on the Black Dog; another has a cartoon of a turkey chasing a person with 02540 underneath; and a third popular design shows a turkey on the back of a milk carton under the caption “Missing.”

Rumors have been swirling up and down Main Street that the entire rafter had been euthanized, but Ms. Evangelista said she hopes they were part of a relocation program.

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CHATHAM — In the wake of a widely publicized fight at a March 31 meeting, the selectmen have decided to remove David Davis from the town’s Waterways Advisory Committee.

Davis was involved in an altercation with Aunt Lydia’s Cove Committee Chairman Doug Feeney at a joint session of the two boards.

At that meeting, during a discussion about raising nonresident fees, an argument broke out that resulted in an outburst of foul language from both men and an exchange of blows that was quickly broken up. But the video of the fight spread on the Internet and led to apologies from Feeney and Davis.

What is the world coming to when two grown men can’t throw some blows over raising nonresident fees? Just the other day I put my fist through a wall just thinking about those damn nonresident fees. This isn’t some simple political problem like chicks with dicks in the ladies room, this is real life shit we are talking about here. Sometimes the only way to come to a conclusion on a matter as complicated as nonresident fees is to make a run at anyone who disagrees with you and throw a few haymakers. This is ‘Merica dammit.

I’ll tell you what, Feeney and Davis should both be on the waterways committee for life as far as I’m concerned. Go ahead and try to find anyone with more passion for Chatham’s waterways. If a grown man is willing to thrown down in an old fashioned fist fight over waterways? Over nonresident fees? You put that motherfucker on the waterways committee and you get the hell out of his way.

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CCT – Dispensary proposals for Dennis, Bourne, Brewster and Mashpee have been steadily inching their way through the state’s lengthy review process, and medical marijuana should be available on Cape Cod by mid-fall.

A dispensary on Echo Road in Mashpee likely will be the first on the Cape to open its doors, with a planned startup in early October. Medical Marijuana of Massachusetts, the nonprofit organization pursuing dispensary licenses in Plymouth and Mashpee, will cultivate and process the marijuana for both operations in a large building in a Plymouth industrial park.

Hey look at that, dispensaries that the public voted for by a landslide THREE years ago are finally going to open mid-fall. Just in time for when weed becomes recreationally legal by a landslide vote in November. It’s a good thing the state collected millions of dollars from people for med cards that were useless for three years. Oh, it was also nice of them to take millions from the people who applied to open dispensaries as well. Now those people get to open their shops right at the same time Cumberland Farms starts selling weed.

The Big Dig, The T, Medical Marijuana, you name it, if it has the potential to be something progressive and great for the state of Taxachusetts, you can bet your ass the powers that be will totally screw it up somehow. Colorado is out there wiping their asses with $100 bills and building schools with their weed tax money, meanwhile we are waiting 7 hours for the train and our kids are playing hot cross buns on toilet paper rolls in their combo music/health/woodshop/gym class.

 

 

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CCT – The annual spring turkey hunt at the Cape Cod National Seashore (CCNS) will begin on Monday, April 25. This is the fifth season for the hunt, according to a CCNS release. The 2016 turkey hunt will run for through Saturday, May 21, and coincide with the state turkey hunting season, which continues for an additional week.

Who needs to go all the way the Seashore? These chumps are all over the place. I say it’s time for open season on these turkey bastards. They’re terrorizing mailmen, causing traffic jams and waltzing down Main St. like they’re checking out the spring fashions.

We’ve got seals taking over our beaches, turkeys in the streets, fisher cats eating poodles… Whatever happened to being on top of the food chain? Apex predators? Have we all gone so soft that animals are taking over our peninsula? What’s next? Will we come home to raccoons in our living rooms, chilling on the couch, eating all of our snacks and controlling the remote all night?

It would be one thing if turkey’s were cute. I could wait a few minutes for a Koala bear to cross the road, but a turkey? Get on my plate or GTFO.

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PATCH – A DUI checkpoint will be held near Falmouth tonight. Please share!

A sobriety checkpoint will be held in Plymouth County tonight.

State Police will conduct the checkpoint. The exact location and time was not revealed, per State Police policy.

“The purpose is to further educate the motoring public and strengthen the public’s awareness to the need of detecting and removing those motorists who operate under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs from our roadways,” State Police Superintendent Richard McKeon. “It will be operated during varied hours, the selection of vehicles will not be arbitrary, safety will be assured, and any inconveniences to motorists will be minimized with advance notice to reduce fear and anxiety.”

Talk about your all time bait and switch headline. I guess the Falmouth Patch people were busy compiling lists about how if you’ve ever been to the beach once then you MUST be from Cape Cod! I guess they didn’t have time to realize that Plymouth County is not in or near Falmouth, nor is it on Cape Cod. Everyone should stop following these PATCH sites, they are a compilation of automated garbage.

The last thing we need around here is some false alarm that causes the boozehounds to toss their Fireball nips on the side of the road at a higher rate than normal. I had to borrow a friends trailer to get them all out of my yard once the snow melted. They should really start putting tiny GPS units in those nip bottles. How great would it be to show up at some slobs house and when he opens the door just dump a bucket of empty Fireball nips on his head like some boozebag version of the ice bucket challenge for ALS.

Here’s your nips back you littering shitbag.

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BREWSTER — East Brewster Dental will hold a Free Dentistry Day on April 30 at its 11 Bay State Court offices.

The practice has been holding free dental care clinics for the community for 10 years in recognition of the growing number of people without dental insurance.

Patients 18 or older may choose among a free cleaning, filling or extraction, according to a statement from the practice. Services will be provided between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. Registration will begin at 7:30 a.m. Patients will be accepted on a first-come, first-served basis, with the first 100 people guaranteed to be seen, according to the statement.

This is phenomenal. To the point where this dentist should win a Nobel Teeth prize or something. For 10 years they’ve been reaching their hands into the pie holes of uninsured sea hags for an entire day? Big high five from us to East Brewster Dental… after you sanitize your hands of course.

Now, with all that said, I don’t want any dentists in Wareham or Lynn reading this and getting any ideas. Don’t you even dare try something like this unless you want your offices to look like a Wal Mart on Black Friday after it was announced that they stocked it to the ceiling with brand new Air Jordans and XBOX 9’s.

The only reason this idea has been so successful is because it’s in Brewster. 9 out of 10 people born and raised on Cape Cod don’t even know where Brewster is. Whatever you do, DON’T try this shit in Hy Town. It will only be a matter of minutes until you’ll have homeless people swinging from the drapes asking you to implant their crack pipes into their teeth holes.

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