TIME – Mashpee Commons in Mashpee, Massachusetts (Fridays and Saturdays)

While you’ll find Scott Calkin, 66, making a dramatic entrance at Nantucket’s annual Christmas Stroll via Coast Guard vessel instead of a sleigh, he also volunteers for HopeHealth’s Hospice programs in Cape Cod, sits with Alzheimer’s patients, and makes house calls for terminally ill pediatric patients. He gives out fleece scarves with mittens on either end called “Santa’s Hugs” so that the “children can give themselves a hug when they need one.”

That’s what I’m talking about! Cape Santa doing big things on the national stage. Just look at the Santa swagger on Scott Calkin. He is killing it with the handlebar mustache, starfish combo. The rest of us wish we had half as much swagger as the Mashpee Santa.

Most importantly, Santa, if you are reading this, sign me up for one of those scarves with the mittens on each end. A self hugging apparatus? Yes please! I will whisper sweet nothings into my own ear while I hold myself tight all day long.

Cape Cod just dominating lately with the best chips, happiest towns, and now the best Santa. It’s like a heavyweight holding all three belts at once. Cape Cod has unified the title!

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Well here it is, our first video. Watch as The Real Cape’s own Insane Tony defends his crown and Casey Reed let’s down an entire nation. Thanks to Erik and Tom of The Quahog Republic for putting up with us.

Video production by Justin Andrukonis
Video production and editing by Adam Hamwey

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Every Story I Read – This is not a real excerpt from a news source. I was going to do yet another post about people getting arrested for drugs on Cape Cod and being all around idiots. Then I realized something. Maybe I should write this one from a different angle.

Another post about how everyone is on drugs? Nope. I am sick of writing about this shit.

Cape Cod is a hotbed for heroin? Everyone on The Cape is addicted?

Well where is it all? To read the news you’d think everyone here is strung out.

But I look out my window and I hear birds chirping. I see people laughing. Sunsets setting. If drugs define us then I don’t know us.

It seems like bad news is the only news these days. What about the rest of it?

What about the beautiful lady who smiled at me at the store today? What about the dude who held the door for me and said that it was “his pleasure”? Where is that guy’s headline?

Oh I forgot, they are all addicted to something.

Why do we talk about the  fuck ups everyday? They aren’t at dinner with us. They aren’t picking up your kids from school because you had to work late, but someone did, and they weren’t on drugs.

But we should be talking about them you say? These addicts. They are our brothers and our sisters.

We should love them. Help them. The Real Cape is about not judging them and doing the best we can for them.

That’s cool. I dig that.

But if we are going to do that, then let’s do it for everyone. I hate that news is always bad news, and I realized I’m part of the problem. So this post isn’t going to be about all the problems on The Cape. This post isn’t for the douche bags.

This post is for the girl that had to decide between food and heat because she fell in love with one of them and thought he’d stick around.

This post is for the guy that quietly takes care of his family and another family because someone else won’t.

This post is for the teacher that takes an extra minute with some kid because nobody else will.

This post is for the coach that works with a kid after practice because he sees something in him.

This post is for the kid that told his friends to lay off another kid they were giving shit to because he could tell he’d had enough.

This post is for the police officer that gave a kid a ride home instead of ruining his life.

This post is for the town selectman that voted for a teen center.

This post is for the people that never get posts written about them.

This post is for the good people.

This post is for you.

The Real Cape.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

From The National UFO Reporting Center

Reported: 11/26/2013 5:52:08 PM 17:52
Posted: 12/2/2013
Location: Dennisport, MA
Shape: Disk
Duration: We heard a sound, then a colorfful object shot out the sky. The object was a disk with green, red, yellow, blue and purple.

While walking up my stairs, me and my friend heard a sound like airplane crashing. We looking towards the trees, and noticed a red and yellow light. My friend believed it was a airplane.

We waited a few seconds, and the light got bigger, then we relived it was not a plane because it was a also green, blue, and purple.

When the light got closer, the street lights helped us make out the shape of the object. It was a sideways disk.

As i went to take my phone out the object made a loud sound and shot to the ground.

For such a young website we sure have solved quite a few mysteries around here. First we proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that ghosts exist. Now we dig up irrefutable proof that UFO’s are real. We are just shaking the investigative journalism world to its foundation with these finds. Be warned if you live in Dennisport, it looks like the aliens chose your town to land in over every other place in the world.

Just so you know this isn’t my first run in with a UFO story. I have a couple of friends who saw a UFO once, but after an exhausting investigation we realized that they were just tripping their balls off on acid and watching P-Funk videos. Come to think of it that might explain this Dennisport sighting as well, the two reports are eerily similar.

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No big deal, just a bear walking down Commercial Street in his slippers on a random day for no reason at all. White shirt and sneakers isn’t impressed. Don’t ever change Provincetown.

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