Cape Cod Santa Named One Of Time Magazine’s Best 11 In The Country

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TIME – Mashpee Commons in Mashpee, Massachusetts (Fridays and Saturdays)

While you’ll find Scott Calkin, 66, making a dramatic entrance at Nantucket’s annual Christmas Stroll via Coast Guard vessel instead of a sleigh, he also volunteers for HopeHealth’s Hospice programs in Cape Cod, sits with Alzheimer’s patients, and makes house calls for terminally ill pediatric patients. He gives out fleece scarves with mittens on either end called “Santa’s Hugs” so that the “children can give themselves a hug when they need one.”

That’s what I’m talking about! Cape Santa doing big things on the national stage. Just look at the Santa swagger on Scott Calkin. He is killing it with the handlebar mustache, starfish combo. The rest of us wish we had half as much swagger as the Mashpee Santa.

Most importantly, Santa, if you are reading this, sign me up for one of those scarves with the mittens on each end. A self hugging apparatus? Yes please! I will whisper sweet nothings into my own ear while I hold myself tight all day long.

Cape Cod just dominating lately with the best chips, happiest towns, and now the best Santa. It’s like a heavyweight holding all three belts at once. Cape Cod has unified the title!

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Drugs Blah Blah Arrested Blah Addicted Blah Blah Blah Cape Cod

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Every Story I Read – This is not a real excerpt from a news source. I was going to do yet another post about people getting arrested for drugs on Cape Cod and being all around idiots. Then I realized something. Maybe I should write this one from a different angle.

Another post about how everyone is on drugs? Nope. I am sick of writing about this shit.

Cape Cod is a hotbed for heroin? Everyone on The Cape is addicted?

Well where is it all? To read the news you’d think everyone here is strung out.

But I look out my window and I hear birds chirping. I see people laughing. Sunsets setting. If drugs define us then I don’t know us.

It seems like bad news is the only news these days. What about the rest of it?

What about the beautiful lady who smiled at me at the store today? What about the dude who held the door for me and said that it was “his pleasure”? Where is that guy’s headline?

Oh I forgot, they are all addicted to something.

Why do we talk about the  fuck ups everyday? They aren’t at dinner with us. They aren’t picking up your kids from school because you had to work late, but someone did, and they weren’t on drugs.

But we should be talking about them you say? These addicts. They are our brothers and our sisters.

We should love them. Help them. The Real Cape is about not judging them and doing the best we can for them.

That’s cool. I dig that.

But if we are going to do that, then let’s do it for everyone. I hate that news is always bad news, and I realized I’m part of the problem. So this post isn’t going to be about all the problems on The Cape. This post isn’t for the douche bags.

This post is for the girl that had to decide between food and heat because she fell in love with one of them and thought he’d stick around.

This post is for the guy that quietly takes care of his family and another family because someone else won’t.

This post is for the teacher that takes an extra minute with some kid because nobody else will.

This post is for the coach that works with a kid after practice because he sees something in him.

This post is for the kid that told his friends to lay off another kid they were giving shit to because he could tell he’d had enough.

This post is for the police officer that gave a kid a ride home instead of ruining his life.

This post is for the town selectman that voted for a teen center.

This post is for the people that never get posts written about them.

This post is for the good people.

This post is for you.

The Real Cape.

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Barnstable Patch Video: How to Make A Perfect Grilled Cheese (If You’re A Douche)

 

 
From Barnstable Patch

Listen Stuart I’m going to give you a pass here because you are Irish so you probably don’t have much experience with Italian sandwiches. You didn’t make a grilled cheese sandwich bro, you made a fucking panini. Grilled cheese is grilled cheese for a reason and one of them is that it doesn’t take two hours to prepare.

Grilled cheese is a sacred part of being one of or a combination of these things:

1. camping
2. tailgating
3. drunk
4. stoned
5. hungover
6. lazy
7. broke

All that crap you added to yours doesn’t jive with anything on that list. Your sandwich looks delicious, but calling it a grilled cheese is like calling a french pastry a pop tart. Sure I’d love one but I’m in my pajamas at 3 o’clock in the afternoon for a reason you fancy prick, and it’s not because I’m oozing with ambition.

P.S. You haven’t had a grilled cheese until you’ve bought one from a wook with dreadlocks named turtle on lot at the end of a three night run with the only $2 left to your name. If you understood that sentence then you know what I’m talking about.

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UFO Crash In Dennisport!

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From The National UFO Reporting Center

Reported: 11/26/2013 5:52:08 PM 17:52
Posted: 12/2/2013
Location: Dennisport, MA
Shape: Disk
Duration: We heard a sound, then a colorfful object shot out the sky. The object was a disk with green, red, yellow, blue and purple.

While walking up my stairs, me and my friend heard a sound like airplane crashing. We looking towards the trees, and noticed a red and yellow light. My friend believed it was a airplane.

We waited a few seconds, and the light got bigger, then we relived it was not a plane because it was a also green, blue, and purple.

When the light got closer, the street lights helped us make out the shape of the object. It was a sideways disk.

As i went to take my phone out the object made a loud sound and shot to the ground.

For such a young website we sure have solved quite a few mysteries around here. First we proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that ghosts exist. Now we dig up irrefutable proof that UFO’s are real. We are just shaking the investigative journalism world to its foundation with these finds. Be warned if you live in Dennisport, it looks like the aliens chose your town to land in over every other place in the world.

Just so you know this isn’t my first run in with a UFO story. I have a couple of friends who saw a UFO once, but after an exhausting investigation we realized that they were just tripping their balls off on acid and watching P-Funk videos. Come to think of it that might explain this Dennisport sighting as well, the two reports are eerily similar.

p funk mothership

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Reader Photo Of The Day – Just Another Day In P-Town

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No big deal, just a bear walking down Commercial Street in his slippers on a random day for no reason at all. White shirt and sneakers isn’t impressed. Don’t ever change Provincetown.

If you have a photo that represents the Real Cape Cod please submit it below or use the link at the top of the page. From beautiful sunsets to drunken comedy and everything in between, we want to see what you see. (Author is optional)

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Insane Tony’s Local Music Lunch Hour – The Silent Trees

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around does it make great music? If it’s The Silent Trees then of course it does. John Redden and Mary Lindberg make up this duo, and you will be hard pressed to find two bigger music junkies out there.

The Silent Trees is an acoustic project with vocal harmonies, acoustic guitar, harmonica, and melodica. They bring a unique blend of covers and originals to your eardrum. The Silent Trees play from the streets of Hy-Town to The Electric Haze (Worcester) to late night sets after Phish shows, and are also regulars at $5 pizza night at The Beach House.

The Silent Trees made their festival debut last summer at Disc Jam. They are often joined by special guest Dennis Christiano and Corey Schectman of Boombasnap. They will be throwin a Holiday J.A.M at The Island Merchant on December 26th where they will be joined by special guest Adam Terrell Ghosts of Jupiter, Assembly of Dust). This will be one to mark on your calender as a don’t miss.

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