DVidshub.net – The Coast Guard medically evacuated a fisherman 60 miles east of Chatham, Mass., at approximately 7 a.m., Monday. At approximately 3:15 a.m. Monday, watch standers at Coast Guard Sector Southeastern New England received a report from the crew of the fishing vessel Bulldog, home ported in New Bedford, Mass., that a 51-year-old crew member had partially severed a finger while conducting a repair of the vessel and was requesting assistance.

Bad ass. It’s nice knowing that if I ever sever my finger 60 miles out to sea, some guys I don’t even know will hop into a helicopter and give me a ride to the hospital. Most friends will bitch and moan about driving you to the airport, never mind having to dangle out of a Jayhawk helicopter and pull you up in a basket.

I guarantee if I called ten friends right now, told them I severed my finger and I need a ride to the hospital, eight of them would tell me to man up and the other two would make a John Bobbitt joke. Thank god none of them are Coasties.

 

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A young Basking #Shark just beached itself in #Menemsha. Still alive. @WHOImedia @MVineyardPatch #MarthasVineyard pic.twitter.com/S97TUUrWaa

— Jeremy Mayhew (@oceanscape) January 12, 2014

I’ve just about had it with sharks. It’s one thing when they are in the news because they are tagged or even if they bite someone out in the ocean. It’s another thing entirely when they start trying to come up on land. There is no doubt in my mind that this is the beginning of the invasion I warned everyone about.

Three words… Swimming. Pools. Only.

Yeah yeah I know what you are going to say. “It’s a Basking Shark, they feed on plankton.” Yeah well how do you know they don’t eat people when there’s no cameras around? I don’t give a shit what The Discovery Channel shows us during shark week, there is no way you will convince me it’s perfectly safe to swim with this…

 

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We’ve all had shit stolen from us, some a lighter, some your  Saints starter jacket. It’s how you rebound from it that matters. Jeff Conley knows how to bounce back like a champ. This singer/songwriter had his 1960’s Gibson guitars stolen after a show. So he decided to rebound like Dennis Rodman, and not the wedding dress wearing Worm but the Detroit Pistons bad boy Worm. Jeff started making his guitars out of extra guitar pieces and household items he had lying around. Once he started making his own guitars he didn’t have to worry about those warm hearted thieves stealing his instruments anymore.

 

Jeff has toured the entire U.S playing his own brand of mellow, yet up-beat folk music, but not only does Jeff play great music, he also co-founded The Naukabout Music Festival with Peter Murner and Cory Peterson. The festival is held at The Barnstable County Fairgrounds every summer since 2008. I have been to 5 out of the 6 festivals, and each year it’s a great line-up with a mix of local and national touring musicians. A great festival close to home for us Codders with a wide range of music is hard to come by. A great mix of awesome music, good food, and sweet delicious succulent beer, makes for a full day of partying and cutting rugs.

Jeff and his band have played all 6 festivals, other local bands to have hit the Naukabout stage are Funktapuss, Sara Leketa, John Benninghof, Daniel Byrnes, Roots down Below, Old Silver Band, Boombasnap, Jimmy D, and Dune Billy All Stars, just to name a few. Some  national touring acts that have Naukabouted are Zack Deputy, Rusted Root, Ryan Montbleau, Adam Ezra, Will Dailey, Bela Flack, Peter Francis, Barefoot Truth, and Rustic Overtones.

So be sure to check out where you can catch Jeff Conley in your hood. Also keep an eye out for Naukabout 2014 info coming soon. Don’t forget to get out and support live local music!

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CapeCodToday.com – Cape Cod girls are as distinct a specter of femininity as they would be if they were mermaids, or say syrens (sic) … as many of them are…

But the Cape Cod girl – of course, she is a good girl; there are none better; she is never the ‘good little girl’ of Sunday school fiction, nor the bad grown up girl of every day fact, but a genuinely good girl, fit for any station, even to become the mother of Boston belles of the very best of society, as so many of them have become…

No more beautiful women or worthier wives come anywhere in the world than from there, from Cape Cod, and from along the shore of Massachusetts Bay generally.

Those are just a few excerpts from an article (click the link for the complete version) that was published on the front page of the Warren Ledger in Pennsylvania on this day in 1876. I don’t have anything funny to say. I just wanted to point out how amazing it is that absolutely nothing has changed in 138 years. AMIRITE LADIES?!

P.S. Call me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

…

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Craigslist.org – Looking for a str8 male willing to take it off for a private dance show be open minded I’m not looking for anything in return. Be DDF be open minded and looking for $$$$. Don’t need to have a perfect body and hair is kool to. Black a plu$$ SEND A FULL PIC this is very very discreet.

This is great news for Cape Cod gangstas! After all these years of people telling them they look and sound like idiots because they are from Cape Cod and not Roxbury a career path has finally opened up. Turns out there is a job market in the private dancing industry that is geared towards Cape thug wannabees. I bet all those haters feel like assholes now huh?

What’s that? Oh DDF stands for “drug and disease free”? Oops well I guess that rules out most of The Cape’s “thugs”. At least all the straight edge wankstas can sign up for this gig though…

Did you say something? It does say black is a plu$$ doesn’t it? Hmm… well I guess that means the rest of the beach thugs don’t qualify either. Not sure what this person was thinking when they posted this ad. Everyone knows all the black thugs on Cape Cod are white.

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Hyannisnews.com – A car owner called Barnstable Police this morning claiming that someone had stolen his vehicle during the overnight. He also claimed the thief got in an accident, seriously damaged his vehicle and then returned his vehicle to its exact parking space outside his room at the International Inn.

Police quickly dispatched someone who wasn’t born yesterday. Patrolman Keith Sexton arrived, examined the damage, examined the owner, listened to the story, he already knew he was being fed a load of bull.

Sexton intently and clearly made sure the reporting party knew it was a felony to make a false stolen vehicle report.

Even though the car owner still showed signs of being intoxicated from the night before… that combined with Sexton pointing out what appeared to be recent airbag burns on his face… despite all that, it didn’t take long for the car owner to smarten up and change his story.

Ahh the old someone stole my car from a hotel room parking spot, crashed it, then returned it to the exact same spot before running away story. Police never get suspicious of crazy stories like that because everyone always tells cops the truth, so it’s really surprising that this guy didn’t get away with this.

Everybody knows that the International Inn is also known as Cuddles and Bubbles right? They have Jacuzzi’s with mirrors all around them in every room. What I’m saying is there is one reason and one reason only to go there (wink, wink). With that said you have to feel for this dude a little bit. He was probably drunk and naked in a hot tub with a girl and 100% sure he was going to score until she informed him he needed to wear a condom.

Unfortunately a guy just can’t reason with himself in a situation like that, your only move is to bee line it to a CVS before the moment passes. If you crash you just have to keep going and deal with it the morning. As far as your penis is concerned a couple of air bags smashing you in the face is not going to get in the way of sex in a Jacuzzi with wall to wall mirrors. This is simply a case of the reward massively outweighing the risk.

(the 0:50 to 1:08 mark in the video below are MUST WATCH)

 

P.S. Hyannisnews.com is the best news website on Cape Cod

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You can’t get much more Real Cape than surfing in the middle of the winter. The double break reminds me of Kilgore in Apocalypse now (press play)…

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