Chatham Set To Take On The United States Federal Fun Police Over South Beach

WL – “Here we come U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service,” Selectman Sean Summers said after the board approved hiring consultants to protect the town’s historical rights.

And “we” is appropriate as officials are asking town meeting to fund three, maybe four, firms at a cost of $300,000 to develop scientific and legal arguments showing that current fishing practices in the Monomoy National Wildlife Refuge and the current border of the refuge need to remain as is. The new draft comprehensive conservation plans put out by refuge staff this spring all curtail some forms of fishing – including mussel harvesting – and also expand the refuge to include 771 acres that is now South Beach.

Maybe this is just what Cape Cod needs in order to start really fighting for change. Maybe the local Cape Cod Fun Police and we, the silent majority who want them stopped, just needed a common enemy. What better enemy than the Feds? They already have most of us pissed about The Piping Plover catastrophe, The National Seashore is a shitty neighbor, and now they want to take 771 acres that includes one of OUR beaches.

This might be a galvanizing moment for us normal people and the local Fun Police to join forces and work together. It’s sort of like that friend you’ve had since you were a kid. You and all of your friends make fun of him, but if anyone outside of your circle does it, you all immediately protect him. Sure, he’s a tool, but he’s your tool.

Well that outsider is The U.S. Fish and Wildlife service and our circle is Cape Cod. It will be interesting to see how this fight pans out. The one thing I do know is that if you are from The Cape and you side with the Feds on this, then you can get the fuck off our peninsula because we protect our own, tools or not.