Barrier now up at Nauset beach spit to prevent vehicles from crossing into eastham! @capecodtimes #capecod pic.twitter.com/3qMW4sE3MM

— CapeCast (@capecast) September 4, 2014

This has been an ongoing feud between Eastham and Orleans. Apparently erosion and sand shifts have moved half of Nauset spit into Eastham which doesn’t allow over sand vehicle permits. The problem is that it used to be entirely in Orleans, which does allow driving on the beach. This didn’t happen overnight either, it’s been a long time but for some reason Eastham decided to enforce their bylaw now. So basically, people that have been driving on the spit their entire lives can no longer use the entire beach.

Orleans is not rolling over though, they are preparing to fight this battle in court. This should be an interesting one to watch. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a fight between an actual town and The Fun Police of another town unfold in real time. I promise you this, we will keep you informed on this one, buckle up and grab your internet driving permit, it may get a little bumpy soon.

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I first met Will Dailey when we interviewed him at the New England Music Awards. He could not have been nicer to us that night and we left vowing to have him here on the Cape this summer one way or another. He came to play The Beach House in July, and by the time The Real Cape Music Festival was over he was an honorary Cape Codder.

His new album National Throat is shooting up the charts, and deservedly so. Will left a major label to do this the way he wanted to do it and the album reflects that authenticity. In short, he is about as real as it gets.

The album is available on iTunes and it does not disappoint. Let’s support a guy who supports Cape Cod and see if we can’t get our adopted son a little higher on that chart shall we?

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Capecodonline.com – An East Falmouth woman is facing criminal charges after authorities allege she hid drugs in her rectum while in custody at the Barnstable County Correctional Facility.

Kristin A. Sullivan, 28, was arraigned Tuesday in Falmouth District Court on nine counts: three each of delivering drugs to a prisoner, distributing a Class E controlled substance and possession to distribute a Class E substance.

According to court records, on Aug. 5, while Sullivan was being held on charges from Falmouth and Wareham district courts, jail authorities received a tip that she was giving prescription medicines to other inmates and was hiding the drugs in a body cavity. Jail personnel questioned Sullivan, and she admitted to tucking a small container containing pills in her rectum, records say. An X-ray confirmed it, and the container was removed by medical personnel at Falmouth Hospital, according to records.

Authorities found six intact pills in the container and one-quarter of a larger pill, records say. Among the medications were clonazepam, a muscle relaxant, and dextroamphetamine, a stimulant used to treat attention deficit disorder.

Ooh, it’s a good old fashioned drug smuggling competition!

Remember a while back when we wrote about the girl at Barnstable County with the drugs in her vagina? Well it looks like we’ve got a contender for the crown. Unfortunately I don’t think this girl has what it takes to dethrone the champ though. When we break down the battle we realize it wasn’t even close…

Drug choice: Vagina Girl had 18 bags of cocaine and heroin in her… um, cavity. Ass Girl only had some muscle relaxers and some kind of generic Adderall type ADD medication up her butt. Think about this for a second, who wants to be able to pay better attention in jail? ADD meds are for focus and getting shit done, do people in jail take them and then do nothing all day in an extremely efficient manner?

Location choice: Gotta give this one to Vagina Girl as well. Not only is there more room for storage in a vagina, a girl can easily go a few days without using it (especially in jail). Try to go a few days without using your ass and there’s gonna be trouble.

All in all, not a bad effort from Ass Girl, but it’s going to take a once in a lifetime performance to beat Vagina Girl.

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The Inkwell, Oak Bluffs circa 1973. These people have more cool in their pinky toes than the entire Cape in 2014. Where’s that time machine?

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Capecodonline.com – While there is no plan to evacuate the Cape if the Pilgrim Nuclear Power Station in Plymouth has a radioactive release, there is, for the first time, a double-sided sheet of guidelines residents can follow while “sheltering in place.”

Called the “emergency reference sheet,” it includes information on what to do as well as what not to do following a radiological incident.

For instance, residents are advised not to head for the Sagamore or Bourne bridges since evacuation from areas closer to the plant will cut off travel for those trying to leave the Cape. Cars offer no protection, so those caught in traffic jams will endure greater exposure to radiation.

The advice from emergency experts is to immediately go inside, lock windows and doors, and grab the portable radio.

And above all, “stay calm.”

After more than a year’s effort, a committee of local emergency management directors, public safety officers, anti-nuclear activists and legislative aides produced the instruction sheet, which will be printed on heavy card stock and made available in several locations.

Morley said there is no viable way to evacuate the Cape, and there are no existing radiological shelters on the Cape, which limits the options for residents.

“The only choice is to shelter in place,” he said.

Is this supposed to make us feel better or worse? Basically what they are saying to Cape Codders is that if there is a nuclear meltdown; “Don’t try and drive over the bridges because the evacuation plans for everyone else will make that impossible. Just shut the window, grab the portable radio that you threw away seven years ago, stay calm, and die peacefully at home.”

How about this part? “There are no existing radiological shelters on The Cape, the only choice is to shelter in place.” Huh? You just said there are no shelters, how can we shelter in place if there aren’t any shelters? Cocaine’s a helluva drug.

So yeah, this isn’t so much of a nuclear survival plan as it is a handbook for agoraphobia. The least they could do is add “stop at the liquor store and stock up” so we could all at least go out having a good time.

P.S. What on earth could locking your door do when a nuclear cloud is coming? Does radiation knock a few times, try the knob and then leave when it realizes the door is locked? Lock my door? Seriously?

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WCVB – The two women, in their 20s, were taking pictures of seals about 150 yards offshore in separate kayaks, when the great white bit one off the kayaks.  Both boats were  overturned in the attack.

The women, who were not injured, swam away, as did the shark.  A bystander called 911 and the women were rescued by the Plymouth Harbormaster.

Let me get this straight, these ladies were splashing around taking pictures of seals in their kayaks? You have to be kidding me! A kayak looks exactly like a seal from below, and the paddle is two perfect little fins! Where are these two chicks now? Roaming the Serengeti in wildebeest outfits?

I have literally made jokes about forcing tourists to kayak with the seals when I was thinking of the most ridiculous thing they could possibly do to get themselves eaten. Not in a million years did I think anyone would actually do it. I guess this sign doesn’t seem so stupid anymore… (from this post)

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NECN – A great white shark attacked two kayakers off the Plymouth, Massachusetts, coast Wednesday evening at Manomet Point, authorities say.

The shark came up from beneath the two women and took a bite out of one of their kayaks, according to the Plymouth Harbormaster.

Neither of the women kayaking was injured in the attack.

I am not one to say I told you so, BUT I TOLD YOU SO! It’s just a matter of time I said, and now it’s happened. It’s on now folks, the big net around the Cape to Boston, clubbing baby seals, all of it. Just call me Nostrahippie because I called this shit AGES AGO!

CLICK HERE for our complete shark history.

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