I know what you are saying. “The Real Cape is a sponsor of The mvyradio Big Chili Contest this year? But won’t the earth explode?” Yes, yes we are, and yes, yes it will. Of course we’d get on board with the biggest, best, and most famous winter party in all of the land. It’s a match made in… the Corona factory.

If you’ve been to The Big Chili Contest then you know what this means. If you haven’t been, then I feel sorry for you. It is quite simply the biggest party on The Vineyard and all of Cape Cod all winter long, and it is set to be held this year on Saturday January 24th at 10 am. This is one of those “you have to see it to believe it” events. The Ferries are packed, the people are fired up, and the vibe is electric.

In addition to great Chili, there is also great music and dancing provided by The Mariachi Mexico Lindo Band,  Johnny Hoy & the Bluefish, The Baha Brothers Jimmy Buffet Tribute Band and the Cape’s DJ Alvzie spinning all your favorites.

As most of you know, The Big Chili Contest is so popular that it WILL sell out, but don’t worry we’ll tell you exactly how to get tickets in a minute.

First, there are still slots available for contestants, both professional and amateur. If you are a restaurant and you want people on the Cape and Islands to know you exist, then this is a perfect way to do it. Anyone who’s anyone is eating chili at the Big Chili contest, this is THE food event in this area. There are all sorts of prizes, including cash and all that jazz, but the amount of fun and exposure is worth it on its own.

If you’d like to be a part of this year’s event as a Contestant, send an inquiry to Greg Orcutt at [email protected] or Jen Toppin at [email protected] or call 978-210-1828.

Now to the important part, TICKETS! They can be purchased online by CLICKING HERE, but hurry up because there aren’t many left.

On the island tickets are available at Shirley’s True Value in Vineyard Haven and at Trader Fred’s in Edgartown.

On the mainland tickets are available in two locations at two different times. On this Friday January 9th (tomorrow) you can get tickets in person at The Beach House in North Falmouth. You need to be there by 6 pm sharp, and they will go fast so you may even want to get there early.

If you miss that one, tickets will be available in person on January 20th at The Quahog Republic in Falmouth as well. We will have times and details on that one coming soon.

We will have more info and updates coming on the entire event as well, but that’s the pertinent information for now.

more details available at mvyradio

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Globe – The Cape Wind plan was dealt a major setback Tuesday when two power companies that had agreed to buy energy from the Nantucket Sound wind farm terminated their contracts with the developers, raising questions about the future of the $2.5 billion offshore project.

National Grid and Northeast Utilities said Cape Wind had missed the Dec. 31 deadline contained in the 2012 contracts to obtain financing and begin construction, and chosen not to put up financial collateral to extend the deadline.

NStar, a Northeast Utilities subsidiary, informed Cape Wind officials of its decision late Tuesday, officials said.

“Unfortunately, Cape Wind has missed these critical milestones,” Northeast Utilities spokeswoman Caroline Pretyman said in an e-mail. “Additionally, Cape Wind has chosen not to exercise their right to post financial security in order to extend the contract deadlines. Therefore the contract is now terminated.”

In a separate e-mail, National Grid spokesman Jake Navarro said the utility was “disappointed that Cape Wind has been unable to meet its commitments under the contract, resulting in today’s termination of the power purchase agreement.”

Under the 2012 agreement, Northeast Utilities and NStar agreed to buy 27.5 percent of Cape Wind’s production. National Grid had previously signed on to purchase 50 percent.

Cape Wind is officially the little wind farm that cried wolf. For over ten years now it’s been approvals followed by denials, court victories followed by injunctions. One day they are all set to go, the next day the project is doomed. I for one am sick of hearing about it at this point. I think the media should make a pact, don’t publish anything about it again until there’s either a windmill on a boat about to launch or the last person involved is dead.

Cape Wind is like those friends you have that keep breaking up and getting back together, eventually you just have to tell them to shut the fuck up about it because you can’t keep wasting your life listening to them bitch about their shit. Well that’s where I am with this, the Cape Wind people and Bill Koch need to go to counseling and figure out their crap in private behind closed doors, no more articles, no more Facebook posts, and no more late night phone calls crying to us. We’ve got our own problems Cape Wind, we can’t waste anymore time worrying about yours.

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Craigslist – whizzinator, name brand. white. – $80 (midcape)

condition: excellent

Only used twice, brand name whizzinator. With box and all paperwork. Clean and works great ! Two times it was used it worked like a miracle!!! Brand new is $175+ , so this is a great deal. Works great for testing! Pass every time ! Comes with extra heating pads. Email if u need more info, this won’t last long at this price!! Do not need anymore no longer on testing. Was a lifesaver though !! $80 or best reasonable offer

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

Listen, if you are at the point where you need to piss out of a fake penis to pass drug tests, that means you are serious about your drugs and you can’t be skimping on a used Whizzinator. It’s not that I’d be worried about traces of drugs in the thing either, it’s more about the traces of Gonorrhea from the last guy that would rather bag up someone else’s urine than stop taking drugs for 30 days in a row. There’s a few things in this world you just don’t skimp on. Socks, cheese and Whizzinators are right at the top of that list.

I don’t always strap on a fake rubber penis with someone else’s piss in it, but when I do I make sure it’s new out of the package.

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OT – A posh waterfront location, spectacular cuisine and superb service combine to create a unique Cape Codding experience. Twenty-eight Atlantic is the resort’s signature restaurant and enjoys the highest ratings on Cape Cod from Forbes, AAA and Zagat. Eight-foot windows frame the panoramic views of Pleasant Bay, while Shaker-style furnishings, hand-blown glass chandeliers, nautical etchings, Limoges china, Riedel stemware create an atmosphere of eclectic style and quiet luxury. Chef James Hackney’s distinctive menu celebrates native and seasonal ingredients with creative, award-winning flair.

Somebody revive the rest of the country with some Narcan because Cape Cod just knocked them out cold! The laundry list of Cape Cod domination in 2014 just keeps growing. At this point we should just secede from the U.S. and start our own country. Blow up the bridges! Call Katharine Lee Bates and Betsy Ross, we’re gonna need a flag and a few lyrics changed!

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ACK – An island man found sleeping in a home that wasn’t his Saturday was arraigned in Nantucket District Court Monday on charges of felony breaking and entering in the nighttime and trespassing.

According to a police report, officers responded to 6 Silver St. Dec. 27 for the report of the man, identified as Dude Guy, 22, asleep in a bed.

The reporting party, who was staying next door, went to the home to check the property for his father and heard snoring coming from an upstairs bedroom, the report reads.

Upon arrival, officers found Watson, whom the reporting party didn’t know. Watson was placed in a cruiser and “then admitted that he did not have permission to be in the house and that sometime last night he must have entered the house while intoxicated,” the report states.

Dude Guy strikes again! Is it just me or do we seem to do this same story all the time? Just like clockwork, every few months, some Dude Guy gets shitfaced and passes out in the wrong house. Whenever we write about it I always ponder whether or not I would call the cops if I found some dude passed out on my couch.

I think it really depends on the situation. If it’s a 22 year old that reeks of Fireball but seems polite I definitely don’t call. If it’s a toothless 50 year old that smells like Popov vodka I’m most likely dialing 911. Alcohol is funny like that, it can make one person endearing and the other a criminal.

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Craigslist – Used panties!! – w4m – 27

age : 27 body : curvy height : 5’5″ (165cm)status : single

Hi!
Any guy looking to buy used panties ? I’m a african American female. Curvy body. I’ve sold my panties twice before. Hit me up. No games please and im not looking for sex. I will only mail the panites that’s it. Thanks.

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

We’ve written twice now about guys posting ads on Craigslist to buy used panties. We thought two seemed like a high number, but take a look at this new development in the soiled undies game.

There is such a high demand on Cape Cod that women are starting full on mail order operations. This chick is like the Amazon.com of old skivvies. Pretty soon we’re going to have delivery drones buzzing around all over the Cape dropping Victoria Secret bombs on our heads.

I wonder how long it will be until fathers start having to monitor their daughters top drawers and we have town meetings about the Cape Cod skid mark epidemic?

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See, it’s funny because it’s usually the sandwiches that get eaten for lunch! It’s extra funny if you actually picture a sandwich eating a person in your mind!

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony