GLW – In 2014, over 3.2 million tourists visited the shores of Cape Cod. Tourism represents a whopping 43% of Cape Cod’s economic base.
On Wednesday, the U.S. Department of Interior proposed a plan to allow offshore drilling on the Atlantic Ocean. The drilling in the Atlantic would be part of a five year drilling schedule that would begin in 2017.

Massachusetts Senator Edward Markey said, “Cape Cod beaches could be in the crosshairs of an oil spill that could devastate our shores if offshore drilling is allowed off the East Coast. Oil spills know no state boundaries. Cape Cod beaches are a destination for countless vacationers from Worcester and throughout Massachusetts, and we need to ensure we protect this unique natural resource and the tourism industry it supports from the devastation of a possible oil spill.”

Can you imagine what a BP level oil spill would do to Cape Cod? Our ecosystem is so fragile that we have to build Best Westerns for our Piping Plovers and charter flights to the Carolinas for our turtles. Because of that and a little thing called Nor’Easters I think I’m against this plan. Unless of course they can connect a pipeline directly from the rig into the oil tank in my basement. If that’s the case then I’ll change my middle name to Exxon first thing tomorrow.

P.S. Cape Wind loses it’s contracts from electric companies and this proposal happen within a few weeks of each other? Somebody just got PAID.

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APP – Christie, a long-time year resident at the Aquarium, has taken over the prognosticating duties from Luseal, a visually impaired harbor seal who has gone 1-for-4 in picking the winner over the last four years. Admittedly, she’s been working at a disadvantage.

CLICK HERE for the video

Well, I just bet the farm on the Pats and I suggest you follow suit. This wasn’t even close, Christie the horseshoe crab didn’t hesitate for a millisecond, she straight bee lined right to that Patriots helmet.

This is not to be taken lightly, do you have any idea how old horseshoe crabs are? I’m pretty sure they’ve been on earth for like 445 million years. Who the hell are we to question something that old? That’s like not listening to your mother when she says to bring a coat, old things know things, that’s just good science.

I don’t see any reason for them to even play the game at this point, 445 million years of wisdom just guaranteed victory for The Patriots.

P.S. How about them yanking Luseal the blind seal after a few losses? It’s not her fault, you are the idiots that put stock in what a blind seal has to say about the Superbowl when it’s obvious to anyone with a brain that the horseshoe crab right next to her is a certified football genius.

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Irish Examiner – From caravan to bar-avan — it’s the traditional Irish pub on wheels that’s about to storm America.

An enterprising cabinet maker in Galway has converted a battered old caravan into an authentic Irish pub.

And such has been the reaction to John Walsh’s Shebeen-for-hire, that he’s branching into sales and is about to deliver one to Boston.

“Very early into this project, we realised that The Shebeen was going to be something very special.

“We have already received an order to ship one of our designs to America,” he says. “It will be very similar to the original Shebeen, except it will have a thatched roof, meaning it will really encapsulate that feeling of Irish tradition.

Well I guess food trucks can take a hike. The future has arrived in the form of a bar on wheels. When they say shipped to Boston, they better mean that it’s the closest port on the way to Cape Cod and this caravan pub is headed here. Someone would make a fortune with this thing on the Cape. How amazing would it be if you could go get shitfaced at the pub… and they could drop you off at your house at the end of the night? Talk about a game changer.

They should equip that thing with a speaker, play the ice cream truck song and drive it through Cape Cod neighborhoods. Wives everywhere would go out to look for their husbands in the yard and find the lawnmower still running in the corner and hubby is gonzo. Nowadays guys are always getting sidetracked on the way to the grocery store and ending up at the bar, after this thing gets to town we’ll be getting sidetracked on the way to the shed and ending up at the bar.

P.S. I think I just became a Pikey.

thanks to anne for the tip

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Look I understand that some people need to go to work and don’t have child care set up for their kids. I realize some people want their kids back on a schedule. I understand that some people are upset because their kids will be in school until July. I even understand that some people just have assholes for kids and can’t stomach the thought of spending another day with them.

That said, try to think back to when you were a kid and imagine how freaking awesome this would be. Cape kids rarely get two snow days in a row, getting four must be like winning the lottery. This is a year that will go down in infamy, it will be talked about for the rest of their lives. They just got done with a long Christmas vacation, now this, and February vacation is right around the corner? This is an absolute once in a generation event for a child, you gotta be happy for them.

Unless of course you’re one of those unfortunate people that lost the lottery and your kids are pricks. In that case you should probably go get a Xanax prescription immediately and start Googling sleepover summer camps.

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Come on guy face it’s been a few days now, it’s time to brush the two feet of snow off the roof and clear the rear window.

Apparently this dude was making a bee line for McDonald’s and stopped in the middle of the road to turn in, minus blinker, almost killing a few people, then when he saw that the drive thru wasn’t plowed he just kept going. That’s laziness on top of laziness on top of laziness. ‘Merica ladies and gentlemen!

P.S. When an internet blogger is calling you lazy it’s time to take a long, hard look in the mirror.

thanks to keith robbins for the pic

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Editor’s note: After yesterday’s post referencing Snowy Owls we received a ton of emails asking what we were talking about, so here is a throwback Thursday post from January of last year…

WickedLocal.com – The snowy owl is not your typical beach bum, though he likes to lounge on the open sand. He’s gazing toward the water, yes, but with more than poetry on his brain. And the Arctic temperatures don’t seem to faze him. What is he doing there, sitting on Race Point Beach? What is he doing on Cape Cod, for that matter?

These white-winged visitors from the North have been seen so often this winter that bird experts are being forced to do tricks with math to keep up with it all.

The owls are likely hunting ducks, gulls and other waterfowl, he says. And they’re sitting on the beach because they prefer treeless, wind-swept terrain — the kind they’re used to in the Arctic Circle, where they breed… “These are big, serious predators. They can take down a great blue heron if they want,”

What are all these owls doing here? Why Cape Cod? I’ll tell you why. They probably read our story about how we are roping off our beaches to artificially prop up the Piping Plover population. They probably figure it’s a double whammy situation. First they can tear through the Plovers like a fat drunk dude devouring a bag of peeps at 2 a.m. on Easter morning. The Piping Plovers won’t even know what hit them because they’re so used to living in a bubble with no natural predators in the roped off V.I.P. sections we’ve been providing them.

Then the Snowy owls probably figure that if we rolled out a red carpet for the Plovers we’ll probably build beach front condos with taxpayer money for them to live in. Next thing you know the Audubon Society will turn Cape Cod into the Malibu beach for owls. Meanwhile we are laying on towels on the pavement in the parking lot fighting over french fries with the Seagulls.

This is why you don’t mess with Mother Nature folks, next thing you know your grandfather gets pecked to death for a french fry. Don’t let your grandfather get pecked to death for a french fry.

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Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony