CapeCodOnline.com – For the second time in three months, the owner of Red Face Jack’s Pub on Route 28 will meet with selectmen to discuss whether his staff served alcohol to customers who already had had too much to drink.

Selectmen have set a disciplinary hearing tonight with restaurant owner Ted Zambelis and his manager Kerry Nealon, prompted by an arrest made by Yarmouth police on May 8.

The board has the authority to modify, suspend or revoke the bar’s liquor license.

The May 8 incident involved a driver pulled over on Seaview Avenue at 1 a.m. for traffic violations. Ultimately he was arrested for failing field sobriety tests and having a blood alcohol level of 0.163, double the legal limit.

The violator told police he had come from having “four or five beers” at Red Face Jack’s.

The following day, Red Face Jack’s bartender Ben Lawlor, who had been working the prior evening, told police he knew the customer well and served him “six or seven beers.”

Lawlor told police the customer said he wasn’t driving himself home. Under state law, however, a bartender can’t serve drinks to someone who is drunk, regardless of whether he is driving.

When contacted Monday, Zambelis said the violator had been picked up at the bar by another driver and given a ride, but he was later returned to his car and got behind the wheel.

Let me get this straight. This guy had some beers at a bar, he then got PICKED UP by a friend and was not driving. When he got back to his car at a totally different location, he then got in his car and drove? Only then was he pulled over, and now the bar is in trouble? What planet am I on? Was the bartender supposed to get in this guys buddies car with him and tuck the fucker into bed when he got home to make sure he didn’t go anywhere else that night?

I get that drunk driving is a very bad thing, but the dude WASN’T DRIVING when he left the bar! So the problem here is that bars can’t serve anyone over the legal limit of.08 even if they take a cab? Well then shut down every single bar on earth, because that’s just insane. There are people on Cape Cod right now who haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since Memorial Day Weekend and still have a blood alcohol level over .08.

Shit, my blood alcohol level is probably .14 right now and all I’ve had today is a box of strawberries and a sleeve of Chips Ahoy. (Don’t judge, they cancel each other out)

CapeCodOnline.com – Come July 1, Yarmouth will be the first town on the Cape to limit the purchase of tobacco products and electronic cigarettes to customers 21 years old and over.

The Board of Health voted 3-2 on Monday to institute new tobacco regulations boosting the purchasing age from 18 to 21.

The vote was taken in the presence of several angry convenience store owners who complained they were going to be stuck with a lot of stock they’ve already purchased for the tourist season.

When the motion was initially made, board member Mary Craig tried to amend it to make the starting date Sept. 1 rather than July 1, but the motion failed.

The public was not allowed to speak since the board closed the hearing process at its last meeting.

Well this ought to do it. No chance anyone under the age of 21 ever smokes a butt in Yarmouth again. I mean the drinking age is 21 and we all know that nobody under 21 drinks alcohol on Cape Cod. Plus have you ever seen the size of Yarmouth? It would take a 20 year old 6 months to get all the way to Dennis for a pack of Marlboros.

If Yarmouth was really smart they would just purchase a giant bubble for each person in town between 18 and 21 to live in, that way no harm could ever come to them seeing as they are incapable of making their own decisions. Unless of course they felt like going to war and defending our country, then they would have to take the bubble off, because, you know, at 18 they can make THAT conscious adult decision to risk their own life, they just can’t smoke a butt.

P.S. At least the board let other people speak on the subject at the hearing, oh wait…

CapeCodOnline.com – More than $19,000 in equipment was reported stolen at the Barnstable Transfer Station between Monday and Tuesday, Barnstable police Sgt. Sean Sweeney said.

Detective Joe Cairns went to the transfer station at 45 Flint St. at around 9:30 a.m. Tuesday after police were alerted to a stolen Mack truck grill, valued at $1,100, Sweeney said.

While searching the property, Cairns and transfer station supervisor Robert Lovell noticed that a John Deere all-terrain utility vehicle was also missing and that a nearby fence had been run over, Sweeney said.

Cairns believes the utility vehicle was used to knock down the fence and then driven toward the adjacent power lines, Sweeney said.

The $18,000 utility vehicle was being rented by a subcontractor working on the solar-panel project and the grill belonged to the town of Barnstable, police Sgt. Mark Cabral said.

What are we in Arkansas? Someone seriously stole a Mack truck grill and a John Deere utility vehicle from the Barnstable dump? Is there an APB out for a guy with sleeveless T-Shirt and a camo hat? You just can’t get any more redneck than this. We have enough problems on Cape Cod, we shouldn’t have to worry about hillbillies. It might be time to start fingerprinting everyone who buys Busch Light 30 packs.

It’s not enough that we have padlocks on the copper pipes in our outside showers? Now we have to worry about Larry The Cable Guy hitting us over the head with a Billy Ray Cyrus CD and snatching our Sudafed so he can cook some meth and drive around in his stolen John Deere all-terrain utility vehicle?

Close the bridges.