CapeCodOnline.com – A local man was arrested after breaking into a neighbor’s house and falling asleep on the couch.

Police were called to 145 Wakeby Road at 6:30 a.m. Saturday after the homeowner found a stranger sleeping on a couch, Barnstable Police Sgt. Michael Riley said.

When Barnstable Police Officer Thomas Harmon arrived and tried to wake the man he wouldn’t wake up at first and then asked if it was “’illegal to sleep or something?’” Riley said, adding that the man who was identified as Dude Guy, 26, of 184 Wakeby Road, smelled of alcohol.

When Harmon asked Dude Guy if he knew where he was Dude Guy responded with a question: “’Maine?’” according to Riley.

Dude Guy was placed in protective custody and will also be charged with breaking and entering, Riley said.

Dude Guy is back! Just kidding, this isn’t the same Dude Guy that was doing wheelies down Main St., but we had to bring the Dude Guy name back for this one.

One of our steadfast rules here at The Real Cape is that we try not to blow people up when they do things that we could quite possibly do ourselves, and there is a 94% chance someone on The Real Cape staff does this exact thing by September. As a matter of fact, one of us may do this exact same thing this summer, but actually have woken up in Maine.

Poor Dude Guy, woke up on the wrong side of the strangers couch all cranky and demanded to know if it was illegal to sleep? Yes Dude Guy, unfortunately it is illegal to sleep in a total strangers home. We know that after a couple/twenty beers they all look the same on Cape Cod, but technically you were in the wrong.

P.S. There is a 137% that one of Dude Guy’s buddies frames this article and gives it to him as a gift. This is the type of shit that is hilarious a few months down the line.

P.P.S. If you are the homeowner here do you call the cops? I don’t think I could blame anyone for calling them, but I’m pretty sure I wake this kid up, make him some pancakes, and have a couple of laughs.

thanks to Jules for the tip

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CapeCodToday.com – Onset Bay beaches are closed to swimming due to a sewer flow on Independence Lane around 10:30 a.m. Monday morning. According to a release from the Wareham Harbormaster, an “undetermined” amount of material was released through a manhole cover and entered the bay through an adjacent storm drain.

In response to the incident, theWareham Health Department ordered the closing of all Onset Bay beaches to bathing including Sunset Cove, Agawam Beach, Shell Point Bay, Onset Beach, East River, Broad Cove and Muddy Cove.

In addition to bathing, the Division of Marine Fisheries has ordered that all shellfishing cease. This, according to the harbormaster’s release includes Onset Bay, Sunset Cove, Shell Point Bay, Wickets and Onset Island and Sias Point (southwest facing side).

I always thought people just knew it was a part of the deal that if they go swimming in Onset that there is most likely some level of dookie in the water. Even if there isn’t actual run off going into the bay, I’d imagine at least one person uses the beach as a toilet per day over there.

Onset is such an enigma, the last time I was there we had fantastic drinks at The Quahog Republic, grabbed a phenomenal pizza from Marc Anthony’s to go, but then on the walk back to the boat we saw a guy in an Ed Hardy wife beater and jorts smoking crack in a Suzuki Samurai with 20″ rims. His companion was a dainty little female of about 87 pounds in a sleeveless jean jacket with some lovely sores all over her face.

Talk about a roller coaster of emotions, it was simultaneously one of the best and most disgusting days of the summer so far. Onset is just so weird, I’m pretty sure it’s a village in the town of Mars.

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CL – FREE CANDY AT OCEAN PARK, MARTHAS VINEYARD

condition: TASTY

FREE CANDY YOWON TOO MUCH AT THE ARCADE.

TONS OF CANDY NO JOKE.

OCEAN PARK

SATURDAY THE 21ST UNTIL 6 PM ON THE BENCHES BY THE GAZEBO BY THE ONE BIG CIRCULAR SHRUB

COME GET IT

Welp, me might as well shut down the Cape Craigslist ad of the day feature because this one takes the cake. There has never been a more cut and dry, black and white situation than this. You answer this ad? You die. Simple as that.

P.S. The tipping point in this ad that took it from creepy to the absolute creepiest was when I noticed the “condition” the item is in. Oh it’s tasty candy? I was thinking it was some of that run of the mill disgusting candy. Now I will definitely show up to a random place to meet a stranger for some arcade candy.

thanks to Katie and Jeff for the tips

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CapeCodToday.com – Sandwich police Saturday night broke up an underage drinking party on Triangle Circle. According to a Sandwich Police release, officers responded to a noise complaint at 42 Triangle Circle Road in Sandwich around 11:45 p.m. Arriving officers found several cars parked in front of the home and one of the vehicle was parked in the road blockin traffic.

As officers approached the house, several youths were observed running from the rear of the home, police said. Twenty-eight minors and the adult male of the house remained behind. Many of the party-goers appeared intoxicated, according to police, and there were alcohol containers found throughout the house. The youths remaining at the house were all between 18- and 20-years-old, police said.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this was probably a graduation party right? I’m betting that the cool dad figured he’d let his kid have some people over and do a little drinking with the thought that they are going to do it somewhere so why not let them do it where he can keep an eye on them. It’s a story we hear all the time, parent with good intentions gets in trouble for giving his kid a safer option to celebrate.

First off, I am not in any way saying the police should not charge them, the cops hands are tied in this situation. They absolutely can not risk their careers over a grey area in the law. That said, is it possibly time to lower the drinking age to 18? Think about it for a minute…

18 is the age we tell kids that they become adults. It’s when we start to trust them to vote in elections that effect all of us. It is when we allow them to serve alcohol and determine when somebody should be served or not. It is the age that we allow them to pick up a weapon and fight for the freedom that allows us to have a few drinks when we want. They can die to protect our right to drink, but can’t have one themselves?

More importantly, how often and by how many people does a law need to be violated until it is changed? Shouldn’t it be that once 51% of people violate a law on a regular basis that it probably shouldn’t be a law anymore? How many 18-21 year olds drink alcohol in this country? And let’s remember that 50% of the people in that age group lie about it, so don’t comment with some study where they asked the kids in school to answer the question without anonymity.

I would guess that 80% of 18-21 year olds drink alcohol regularly. Is there any other law that such a massive percentage of the population breaks? It’s like if they made snacking between meals illegal. It would instantly make the bulk of the normal, law abiding population criminals.

I bet it would also make some people who normally don’t snack between meals start to do it. Forbidden fruit is the tastiest fruit of all.

 

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