I’m Jenny. I love pickles, glitter, Phillip Phillips, Britney Spears and the shark species as a whole. That’s literally how people would define me if you asked.

This blog isn’t going to change your life, or make you a better person or do anything constructive or creative for you to be honest. It’s pretty much just a virtual diary of my everyday life because, well, it’s fucking hilarious.

I mean we’re talking about a girl who landed herself in the hospital last year because she accidentally electrocuted herself while trying to make a grilled cheese. That was a week or so before I gave myself a concussion by walking into a car door and a month after I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle while bowling at a corporate event. My life is literally a disaster, and I love to share it with people.

I absolutely embrace the fact that I’m an awkward, clumsy, incredibly random and funny ginger who always has a smile on her face and a positive attitude. I say that not only because it’s true, but because if I don’t I’ll probably curl up in a ball in my studio apartment and cry about how much of a hot mess my life has become.

I like to think of myself as a fairly smart person. I graduated from a pretty good school, continued on to get my master’s in business administration, have a solid career and am well versed in conversation. I’m also really dumb. I at one point thought manatees crossed the road, told everyone I had been “sodomised” when I had a freckle “cauterized” (turns out there’s a HUGE difference between the two) and spent a full day teaching my 4-year-old niece about the importance of keeping her nervous system healthy or else she would catch a cold.

Hope you enjoy, psychos.