Time Magazine Names Massachusetts The 2nd Worst State For Drinking

Time – Massachusetts: Massachusetts is well-known for its many colleges and universities, but the state’s laws seemed aimed at preventing these students from having very much fun. Out of state drivers licenses aren’t acceptable proofs of age under state law, meaning that out-of-state visitors can get turned away from bars. Bars are also prohibited from  allowing drinking games on their premises, and perhaps worst of all, happy hours are banned state wide.

Well would you look at that? Even Time Magazine, one of the most respected publications in the country, hates the Fun Police.

Let’s get real though. How is it remotely possible that Massachusetts is a worse place to drink than 48 other states?  Massachusetts has won every major sports championship in the 21st century, that’s an automatic bid to the top ten. There are states that don’t even have a single professional sports team, and they rank ahead of us?

We may not have drinking games in bars or happy hours, but have you ever been to Wyoming? There is NOTHING in Wyoming. I would venture to guess that there are more bars in Hyannis than there are in all of Wyoming. There are still gas stations that only sell diesel gas in Wyoming.

Or how about North Dakota? How could drinking in a place like North Dakota be better than drinking in MA? How could ANYTHING in North Dakota be better than in MA? I’d rather get oral sex from a piranha in MA than go drinking in North Dakota.

I agree we have some stupid drinking laws in this state, but there is just no possible chance that you are ever going to convince me that all the states in the middle of the country, all the ones that smell exactly like the Barnstable County Fair, are better places to drink than Massachusetts.

Sorry Time Magazine, but I think you forgot to factor something into your rankings…