Tips When Dating Someone From the Cape

People from the Cape..we’re a special breed. I first began to realize this when I went away to college and began to notice things about people in my dorm that I wasn’t used to. For example;

  • the girls on my floor had more clubbing tops than hoodies
  • people were hammered after 2 beers
  • everyone had fake Boston accents even though half of them were from fucking Plymouth or Marshfield
  • no one went to the beach or on a boat after the month of August
  • the weed sucked
  • people did things other than work in the summer
  • they had never had someone they grew up with die and
  • they owned makeup

Needless to say, I spent a lot of my freshman year explaining how I grew up and why I was the way I was; not that I gave a flying fuck – which I guess is tip #1 when dating someone that grew up on Cape Cod:

We don’t care about a whole lot outside of making sure our asses are in the sand by 9am on our day off, that our beer is cold and that you don’t wear pastel pants to the bar. Or in life. It’s not that we don’t have other things to worry about, we just acknowledge the fact that life is short and no matter how shitty your day was, there’s nothing the ocean, your best friend or a cold drink can’t fix. Just being near the water instantly reminds you that everything WILL be okay. This goes beyond emotional issues too; to this day, I could break a bone and my mother would tell me to ‘go jump in the water’. Migraine? Go for a swim. Sore throat? Gargle with salt water. Someone broke your heart? Drown them. You get it.

Tip 2: If you want to get us over the bridge, there better be a good fucking reason, and even then we’re probs not gunna make it..

I can technically be considered an exception to this rule since I left the Cape to attend college, lived in Boston for a few years and now reside on the South Shore but one thing stands true: my ass is on Cape EVERY weekend I can get down there, especially in the Summer. We literally grew up where you vacationed – we know every bartender/DJ/band that hooks it up while you’re paying out the ass and usually have a younger sibling to be our designated driver so we can get black out and roll out of bed just in time to get in a full beach day.

Tip 3: We’re never too good for anyone

This is probably one of the things I’m most proud of having been born and raised on Cape Cod. My parents are also Cape Cod natives and I learned at a very young age that you never judge a book by it’s cover, or a druggy by it’s track marks. People choose different paths and end up where they do for so many reasons, but that doesn’t change who they were or are to you.

There are very few places in this world where a Glitter Ginger can go after getting off work, without having time to change out of her suit and heels, and be welcomed into the townie bar without judgement (actually, that’s a lie, because last time I walked into the bar in my business dress Hippie asked if I had come to cash my check at the “spank bank” – Dick) but you get what I’m saying – no one gives a fuck how much money you make, what you wear or what you do for a living – if you can drink beer and carry a conversation than you’re welcome at the bar stool next to me.

So in closing, my advice is to just accept us for what we are because if you can’t then chances are you won’t be around for much longer. Unless it’s winter, in which case we don’t have a whole lot else going for us, so we’ll put up with your bullshit until the summer people roll through.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Comments 24

  1. Get over yourself, the Cape is not that cool. It would probably behoove you to develop the coping skills necessary to succeed at life on the other side of the bridge.

    1. I completely agree. The Cape is full of good for nothings that think they are at the top of their game. I guess here they kinda are…

    2. Coastal Community power rankings.

      South shore>North Shore>Cape Cod>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>South Coast.

      You’re not the only one with beaches, and anyone living in a coastal community would never deal with the hassle of going to the cape in the summer, although the water tends to be a lot warmer in the sound.

      Nearly everyone in Plymouth/Marshfield/South Shore area has pseudo Boston accents. Probably because their parents migrated from inside the 95 belt to the South Shore.

      Just giving ya shit Real Capers, I know your a website that’s dedicated to dishing it out.


  2. Love this piece!! So much of it is so accurate to that very particular place we grew up. You had me at: “They never had someone they grew up with die…”
    Also, the ocean being a universal cure-all. There really wasn’t anything that a trip to the water couldn’t cure. From a cold to a broken heart.
    And to this day I think of the beach in. The same way some other folks think of their therapists office. It’s where you go to work s–t out.

  3. This is so true, it’s funny. I think the point is that we are NOT too good for anyone. Having left the Cape and become a doctor, I can say I went off, lived other places, and now I’m returning because there is no place like it. I hope that others also have the opportunity to leave, experience parts of the world and decide for themselves how great it is, or not. The summer people may make it seem like we’re “too good for others,” but they’re not the real Cape Codders! It never leaves your blood, especially for the born and raised Cape Codders 🙂

  4. Having lived here a few years I’ve made a few observations about the Cape’s women aged 25-35.

    1. The get knocked up and/or married young
    2. They have a drug addiction.
    3. 1+2
    4. They are like glitter ginger and wise enough to GTFO the Cape to have a career that doesn’t involve tourism or the hospital.

    1. Uuuh… exception! 29. No drugs (just not my thing drank like hell for verbal years though) still live on the Cape. No kids. Never kids. To heeeeeell with kids. And Im an artist pretty sure that has nothing to do with the CCH or Tourism.

      Granted im only here because I make so little I cant afford to move to NH (where I can have an apartment with more than 2 windows)

      Aside from that helarious post. The Hoodies is a fact.

  5. So, this was clearly written by someone @ mid twenties, I’d guess, could be wrong, but I think so. First of all, weed on the Cape used to be absolutely god awful, we got the total shaft. When I went to college I was blown away, however, I’ve noticed good weed spread throughout the country, and when I first started smoking, it was the mid 90’s. Second, it is only this age of internet that Cape kids have been able to be exposed to what is current and happening with other kids in more social, higher population areas, which is the majority of what kids in the US experience. IE, every wicked popular person I graduated with who only knew Cape Cod simply could not handle not being a big fish in a small pond. Still happens. And for the love of god, the beach gets fucking old, so does the ocean. Especially if like me, you grew up working the damn thing all the time in a fishing family. Yeah the love the Cape, but most of the time, kids from here have a hard time outside of it, not because it’s better, but because it’s stunted them. Also, to be fair, given the majority of current youth social trends, maybe being ‘stunted’ is a good thing.

  6. This is amazing! We where born here, we live here, and we love it here. Some of us got off cape to get an education, some of us got knocked up in high school, some of us got addicted. We all have had the same best friends since 1st Grade, We all have lost people we love to drugs or drinking, we all have “welfare mom” friends, we all have ridicously successful friends, and we all have that one friend who did to many psychedelics as a teenager. We don’t care what you did or did not do, if you’re with us, everything is gonna be just fine. No matter what we do over the bridge, we always come back home. Just like Glitter Ginger, we don’t judge, we don’t hate, and we share our sucesses with our homies who grew up with us. Some people think “The Cape” isn’t that cool, and that’s quite alright by us. Thank you for this perfect discription of our lives on Cape Cod.

  7. THIS Made My DAY Nick UR Rite On Point Well Written I HAVE On Goat In The Summer AND IT’S 2 GET Back 2 THE Cape Where I Grew Up As Much As Possible

  8. Yeah, I grew up on the Cape, left for college, live close to Boston now too, and the Cape is nice and all. But this is clearly more than anything a manifesto of the author’s worldview and lifestyle. By no means does it apply to the majority, or even a stereotypical sub-group of, Cape folks. I mean, it’s just a touristy stretch of land with beaches where a substantial number of people happen to live year-round. It’s not some mecca of non-judgmentalness where the natives spend all their free time acting out Jimmy Buffet lyrics.

  9. I’m just tickled by the irony of idiots who say to “get over yourselves” when immersed in a blog about Cape Cod. Of course, most people don’t really understand what the word “irony” means so I don’t exactly expect any of them to catch that, either.

    There is no place like the Cape and the hassle of having to put up with the special brand of douchbags when you cross the bridge is often not worth the effort, so we stay here with the douchbags we know and love. It’s the comforts of having that home that you’ll defend even though the water can be cold and there are beaches elsewhere. These are OUR beaches and to us they are the most perfect damn beaches around.

    And Nick, you’re right, Cape Cod is not that cool but you still need to be hugged more. Look into that.

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