In related news the Hyannis police need help locating the Invisible Man.
In international news the Saharan police are trying to locate a grain of sand they say has a warrant.
And finally, in farming news, a haystack has issued an APB on a needle.
Please, if you can help bring any of these criminals to justice act now and contact the authorities.
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We received the following email the other day and thought the story was worth a share:
The Real Cape,
My name is Ken Friend. I served as the 6th grade coach for the Upper Cape Spartans this past season. Last month, I nominated our 11 year old tailback “Aidan Sullivan” to receive the Black Lion Award.
The Black Lion Award is a national award, established in 2001, dedicated to the memory of Don Holleder and the men of the 28thinfantry, the Black Lions – who gave their lives for their country in the
Battle of Ong Thanh, Vietnam on October 17th, 1967. This award is presented to that football player who best exemplifies the character of Don Holleder: leadership, courage, devotion to duty, self-sacrifice
and above all, an unselfish concern for his team ahead of himself.
Aidan was selected by an independent board and received the award on November 17th.
Congrats to Aidan, a fine achievement from what sounds like a fine young man. It is always great to see some local talent getting recognition.
Another aspect of this story is why The Upper Cape Spartans deserve some kudos here as well. For instance, most of The Cape is probably not aware that Falmouth’s Pop Warner league folded. Yes, you heard that right, the league folded, like it was the USFL or something. It was not a lack of children wanting to play. Kids want to play football. It was the adults who couldn’t keep it together. Somebody needed to fill the void.
The Spartans are a non profit operation that is giving kids a chance to play football. They are giving kids a chance to smash into other kids the way god intended. They are giving them a chance to be American. In the words of a great man… “If you love your country… you’re gonna have to love The Spartans.”*
P.S. How great of a name does the guy who sent the email have? Ken Friend? Just an absolutely perfect name for a 6th grade football coach. It sounds masculine yet so welcoming and non judgmental. He should be the coach of the Sesame Street football team.
*(changed up that quote a bit)
BREWSTER — NStar’s voluntary four-year moratorium on spraying herbicides under Cape Cod’s power lines ended on Monday as herbicides were applied for the first time since 2009.
The utility received permission from the state Department of Agricultural Resources on Friday to commence the vegetation management plan which includes applying herbicides in Barnstable, Bourne, Brewster, Chatham, Falmouth, Harwich, Orleans, Sandwich and on Martha’s Vineyard between Nov. 12 and Dec. 24. There’s also a potential window to continuing spraying through Dec. 31.
Hey this is great, I was just driving by the power lines the other day and saying to myself, “boy, the bushes under those giant poles with wires hanging off of them, the ones making that annoying buzzing sound. Those sure are an eyesore.”
But I get it, they do have to be tamed, the vehicles do need to have access in case of emergency. I’m just racking my brain trying to figure out some other way, some more efficient way that doesn’t involve PUTTING POISON INTO THE GROUND.
If only there were some some sort of technology that could do this same task in a less harmful way, but of course there is not, so we will have to keep adding chemicals to our ground water.
But wait, this just in, we have acquired a top secret photograph that you can see has obviously been censored by NStar. If you look very closely, past the censorship, you can just make out what may be some sort of tools. It looks like it may be some sort of land clearing apparatus?
I think it may be something known as tree and landscaping equipment? I wouldn’t know, there aren’t any landscaping or tree companies here on Cape Cod. So I guess we are back to poison, unless we can locate some of these elusive “landscapers” or “arborists”. I wouldn’t even know where to begin to look.
Enterprise – The town received notification on Tuesday that its drinking water had violated drinking water standards for disinfection byproducts.
There were two violations reported, one for trihalomethane and another for haloacetic acid. Although there is no immediate risk, the town notes that some people who drink water containing these disinfection byproducts in excess of maximum contaminant levels (MCL) over many years may experience problems with their liver, kidneys or central nervous system. And there may be an increased risk of getting cancer.
No risk at all, just maybe some problems with your liver, kidneys, central nervous system and an increased cancer risk. Suck it up pussy, ooooh what do you want a band aid for your malfunctioning kidney? Grow up.
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MONUMENT BEACH — Bourne police at 11:08 Saturday night responded in force to a call about a reported gunshot at the Canal Bluffs apartment complex on Harmony Hill Road, Monument Beach. This is the tenth such call about gunfire in the area off MacArthur Boulevard in four weeks.
OK first question is how the hell did anyone get a building permit for that monstrosity? This isn’t Dorchester, this is Cape Cod. This place looks like those Keystone Apartments you can see from the highway on the way to Boston. According to the infallible Wikipedia, Bourne has 18,721 residents. I’m no mathematician, but by my calculations that means that all but 7 people in Bourne live in that apartment building. (What I’m saying is that it’s huge)
But anyway, TEN. There have been ten reports of shots fired there. What’s going on down there? Is there a family of 8 point bucks living in apt. 7B? Are the Gambino’s in a major battle with the Russians to see who can control the lucrative Bourne territory? Plus, It’s all one building, how is it that after gunshots are fired, 800 people can’t come out of their apartments, point, and say “Yup, right there, it came from right there, 2A. Case solved.”
Clean it up Bourne or we are changing your name to Died.
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Seems legit.
Did I fall asleep and wake up in 2005? Charlie Moore is still alive? More importantly what on earth does he have to do with St. Patrick’s Day? The Mad Fisherman may be one of the most over the top caricatures of a DOOOOD from around here these eyes have ever seen. The accent he puts that extra oomph into, the baseball hat on backwards. He looks like he’s a 16 year old going to a Tom Petty concert in 1996.
He’s got a good fishing show, but holy shit is is high energy shtick annoying as hell. He would be a great fit for Stoughton’s parade maybe, but The Cape? Was the Sham Wow guy not available? Oh yeah, he’s too busy beating up cannibal hookers.
P.S. You are lying if you say you weren’t all about Charlie Moore in 2005. Fitzy was fahkin’ awesumm’ too dood’. Then we found out he’s an actor who lives in New York, GFY.
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Insane Tony here with another local music after lunch. Today’s local artist is Crooked Coast.The band is made up of Ben Elder (bass), Charles Parker Walton (Drums, Johnny Mac (Guitar), and Luke Vose (Guitar, Vocals). They have shared the stage with the likes of Barrington Levy and Everlast (yup, that Everlast). These guys stand for everything Cape Cod, from rum running to hanging on Water Street. From Rock to Reggae to Hip hop, their live show will blow your nuts off. This is the video for Ritalin, which Is solely responsible for my bedroom ever being clean as a teenager.
Follow them on twitter @crookedcoast or visit their website at crookedcoast.com
You can follow me @RealCape_Tony
Rockets aren’t funny, but they are awesome as shit so we thought we’d let you know.
Weather permitting, residents on the East Coast, including Cape Cod and the Islands, should have the opportunity to see a rocket launch this evening.
NASA and the U.S. Air Force plans to launch a rocket with 29 satellite payload from Wallops Island, VA., according to a press release.
The launch window opens at 6:30 p.m.
The weather is expected to be clear and cold and the launch will be visible from Maine to Florida, the release said.
(Here’s a map of the launch viewing area.)
The launch will also be viewable live starting at 6:30 p.m.:http://bit.ly/1gIy91g
