Barnstable County Sheriff James Cumming‘s this week came out in support of the state Department of Corrections (DOC) by filing an Amicus Brief in the case of Michelle Kosilek.  Kosilek, 64, who was born Robert Kosilek has requested a sex change operation which would be funded by the taxpayers of the commonwealth.

Kosilek is currently serving a life sentence at MCI Norfolk for the 1990 murder of his wife Cheryl McCaul.  Repeatedly through his incarceration, Kosilek has sued the DOC to allow taxpayer-funded gender reassignment surgery.

First things first, good job here by Sheriff Cummings. Taxpayers paying for prisoners sex changes is pretty much the absolute pinnacle of what is wrong with our society. I literally can’t even go into the reasons why, it’s just too exhausting to think we live in a world where this is even a viable question. This dude killed someone and now he wants us to pay for his tits? Seems legit.

What I am wondering though is if you get a sex change while in prison, do you switch to a female prison afterwards or do you stay in guy prison? I would imagine you go to girl prison right? You can’t have a person with lady parts prancing around a guy jail can you?

If my hunch is correct then this is the ultimate hustle in the history of hustles. You go from being some big dudes bitch in MCI to being the alpha female at Pillow Fight Correctional Facility? Yes please. It’s a wonder every guy with a life sentence isn’t trying to pull this move. It’s the prison equivalent of pretending you’re gay to become the guy who changes supermodels bras during fashion shows.

As much as I hate this Kosilek guy/girl, you have to respect the hustle. Just an absolute genius move here, don’t hate the player, hate the game.

P.S. Don’t you dare comment about the attractiveness of female prisoners and ruin my fantasy.

CapeCodOnline.com – The Colonial-era “yea” or “nay” of town meetings could be replaced by the click of a keypad if Eastham voters decide to adopt electronic voting at future town meetings.

Eastham is the first town on the Cape to form a committee to consider using devices that resemble TV remotes to record votes in seconds. These do away with hand counting, secret ballots and voice votes that date back to the Pilgrims.

Option Technologies, which rents out the equipment to many Massachusetts towns, charges from $10,000 for a small meeting to $50,000 for a town meeting with 2,000 voters, said Mark Fite, company president.

It doesn’t make sense to buy the equipment because renting comes with the technical experts who set up, maintain and take down the equipment, said Eastham Selectman Aimee Eckman, who is on the study committee.

Also, the technology could change quickly, she added.

How is it that not one town on Cape Cod has these devices yet? We are walking around with computers in our pockets but we still have to yell “yea” or “nay” at town meetings like we just walked off the Mayflower?

Oh and $50,000 to rent some T.V. remotes seems reasonable huh? It doesn’t make sense to buy them because the technology changes too fast? Are you shitting me? There are two buttons on the things, TWO! We have had this technology for like 50 years and it’s exactly the same. I repeat, they are T.V. remotes with TWO buttons.

I have an app on my phone that will tell me where the nearest liquor store is to my exact current location, guess what, it was FREE. Yet Eastham is going to rent some two button remotes for $50K? Gee I wonder why our governments are all in debt?

CapeCodOnline.com – ORLEANS — What started as a drunk-driving arrest Wednesday morning turned into an attack after the driver and his passenger allegedly resisted arrest and then “contaminated” police cruisers with bodily fluids, police say.

Around 1 a.m., Orleans police Sgt. William Norton and Officer Thomas Carey stopped Eric Zavalcofsky, 21, of Brewster and suspected he was driving under the influence of alcohol, according to an Orleans Police Department press release.

While being arrested, Zavalcofsky allegedly resisted, according to the statement.

Zavalcofsky’s passenger, 22-year-old Cody Kavanagh of Eastham, allegedly got out of the car and “charged at” Norton and Carey, according to the statement.

After gaining control of the two suspects, Norton and Carey placed them in separate police cruisers, according to the statement.

While en route to the police station, both suspects allegedly contaminated the police cruisers with “bodily fluids,” according to the statement.

Police declined to specify the fluids.

Oh come on Orleans PD you can’t just leave us hanging like this! I’m dying to know what the bodily fluids were. I NEED to know what the bodily fluids were. Don’t the police work for us? Aren’t they bound by one of the commandments of the constitution to tell us these things? Thou shalt make bodily fluids public knowledge or something like that?

As much as I have a burning desire to know if these dudes just pissed themselves or if they took a dump in these cop cars that’s not even the question eating at me the most. What I really need to know is if this was a premeditated conspiracy or not. I mean did these guys plan this somehow during the arrest or send each other some kind of hand signals or something?

If these two had absolutely no knowledge of the others intentions and decided, completely independent of one another, to defecate in the back of separate cruisers completely of their own accord… at the same time? Then I 100% believe in ESP from now on. Whatever that force is that makes one twin feel it when the other gets hurt? That instinct when a mother knows when something has happened to her child? Yeah that shit is real, and these two have it in spades.

All I know is everyone better think twice before they ever mess with two wizards, one second you’ll be face to face with them and the next thing you know you’re lying on the ground with two dumps on your chest. Dudes don’t even have to talk to each other they’ll just instinctively pull a double Cleveland Steamer on you all ninja style.

I don’t know about you but I’m staying the hell out of Orleans, there’s some black magic going on up there.

You can still enter our NCAA bracket tournament up until today at 12 p.m. To enter just register in the top right sidebar, once registered come back on the main site and there will be a link to your bracket where the registration button was in the top right. Make sure to use the red eventbrite registration button to pay your $10 entry fee as well. If you haven’t paid the entry fee by noon your bracket won’t count.

It looks like the winner is going to take home at least a few hundred dollars so it’s shaping up to be a nice little payout for the winner. We will post the exact cash payouts after all the entries are in and editing is closed. All scores will be updated automatically every day and we will post a leaderboard so everyone knows where they stand.

If you want to see what the winning bracket looks like you can see my bracket here, and if you want to see what a mentally challenged bracket looks like you can see Insane Tony’s here. Good luck everyone!

So March Madness is just two days away, we decided to run our own bracket tournament. This Cape Wide tournament will be tons of fun with money and bragging rights on the line! The entire contest will be automated right on the site so you can check your real time updates and we will be publishing daily leaderboards so you can see where you stand.

Here is how it works, on the top of the right sidebar there is a registration box, just register yourself, and you will be sent a password. Once you log you will be brought to a profile page where you can edit your info and change your password to something you can remember more easily.

From there you can go back to the main site by clicking “real cape” on the top left. Then using the same box on the right you can view and edit your brackets. Brackets can be edited  up until 12 on Tuesday.

Right below the registration box there is a an entry fee box. Click on that to pay the $10 entry fee and you will be live and ready to go. There will be cash prizes for 1st 2nd and 3rd place. The scores will automatically be updated. Prizes will be payed out via PayPal, cash or check two days after the tournament is over.

We get tens of thousands of visitors to this website so hopefully many of you will join the tournament and we will have tons of money to pay out. We will be posting daily leaderboards on the site so everyone knows where they stand and will announce the exact value of the prizes once entries close and we know how many people have signed up.

So sign up now and not only win a bunch of cash but also the bragging rights as the premier March Madness expert on Cape Cod!