CapeCodToday.com – Attention all awesome spellers–it’s time to come out of winter hibernation for the 2nd annual Cape Cod Adult Spelling Bee on April 6 from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. at the Cape Codder Resort and Spa in Hyannis. This buzz-worthy event, now in its sophomore year, is not only a good time, but a key fundraiser for Calmer Choice.

Last year the spelling bee was developed as a more cerebral way to raise funds–an indoors alternative to the many running, walking and golfing fundraisers already happening on Cape Cod. See rules and game play here.

Participants need only gather two friends and register the trio for competition on the Calmer Choice website. Clever team names, themes and even outfits are encouraged. Individuals and companies may also opt to be an event or word sponsor.

Oh no they didn’t! I need this championship for The Real Cape. I will spell circles around everyone on this peninsula. Forwards, backwards you name it. Gnilleps motherfucker, ever hear of them? They are when you spell backwards in Cranium, yeah well I’m 437-0 lifetime in gnilleps.

Here’s the problem, this is teams of three. What am I supposed to do bring Insane Tony? Dude spells at a legit 2nd grade level. Bonzai? He went to ZooMass, no chance he is actually educated in anything but beer pong. Ham Sandwich? Ever read his tweets? They are in hieroglyphics for fucks sake. I suppose maybe The Glitter Ginger, but she doesn’t even know the difference between then and than. John may be my huckleberry but I’ve only seen him use a camera and not a keyboard so I can’t be sure.

I may have to run a contest to find the best Real Cape readers for the job. If you think we can take this thing hit me up and let’s talk. No chumps and no half assing. Go big or go home, who’s with me?

P.S. How is Calmer Choice going to handle it when I trash the set in a fit of rage if I get a word wrong?

Hyannisnews.com – According to sources, the wrong things were said, insults were made, and “fists started flying…” Just after 1:30 pm, police responded to Spring Street for some type of disturbance in the street. A woman who had been celebrating a wedding was down and needed medical attention. Hyannis Rescue was called…

A local homeless couple were married at Barnstable Town Hall earlier this morning. At about 9am, a wedding party took place after the official ceremony in the area of the village green. Other downtown homeless were invited and libations were served.

Police eventually kicked about ten party goers off the village green. The celebration then slowly made it’s way across town where it ended on Spring Street after police received a call about a woman yelling…

That’s when the humble festivities turned violent. A woman was down and others were fighting. Initial officers on scene called for backup as the situation escalated and random fights continued to break out…

The stricken female rallied and managed to get up and rejoin the brawl. She was arrested for Disorderly Conduct and is also being held in protective custody.

A male party-goer was also arrested and charged with Disorderly Conduct. He also had been drinking all day and will be held in protective custody until he’s sobers up.

I have to admit I kind of feel bad for the homeless people on this one. This sounds like every wedding I’ve been to on Cape Cod. The only difference is we were on private property and not a village green. I guess it’s only OK to have a bunch of people get shitfaced and enjoy a couple of bridesmaid brawls if you paid $85 a head and rented a tent?

Can you imagine how much fun the bride and groom had registering for gifts though? Walking around the liquor store with the price gun shooting the UPC’s on cartons of Newports and bottles of Mad Dog 20/20 like they were playing duck hunt.

One person I definitely feel bad for though is the homeless gal who caught the bouquet. Poor thing probably had some toothless crackhead push a garter so far up her leg she had to charge him for a full hour.

ORLEANS – Investigators from the Orleans Police Department have completed their investigation into the motor vehicle crash that occurred on February 15, 2014, at the Orleans Rotary. The initial focus of the investigation was to identify and locate an unknown motor vehicle and operator that was involved in the crash that may have fled the scene. Investigators were able to identify the motor vehicle in question as a 2012 Honda Ridgeline, operated by Colby Frodel of Eastham.

Ultimately, after a thorough investigation, investigators concluded that criminal charges in this matter are not appropriate. The investigation disclosed that Mr. Frodel did not flee the scene. It was determined that Mr. Frodel and a passenger in his vehicle stopped after the collision, spoke with the other motor vehicle operator, and attempted to exchange driver information.

What’s so interesting about this story you ask? Well the guy who told everyone he was the victim of this hit and run has a Go Fund Me page that has raised over $13K on the premise that he was, in fact, the victim of a hit and run. I’m not going to speculate on anything here, I’m just pointing out that the police investigation findings and this guys story do not match.

I’m going to leave the actual reporting up to a writer who, you know, puts pants on for work. I’m just a blogger who happens to read every single thing to do with Cape Cod online everyday and made a simple connection, but if I were a real reporter? I might look into this situation a little further is all I’m saying.

P.S. Cape Cod Times, Enterprise etc. hint, hint, wink, wink.

It’s still very early but after day one of the tournament we’ve got Katie Meyer in 1st place with 15 points. Daniel Byrnes, Arthur Bonzarelli and Insane Tony are hot on her heels just one point behind and there are a bunch of people at 13.

The prizes are going to be as follows:

1. $200
2. $40
3. Entry fee refund

If anyone is having any trouble accessing their bracket page send us an email to [email protected] and we’ll get you sorted out. The brackets are automatically updated every hour so if you don’t see your points in real time give it a little time to catch up. Also we’ve moved the login box to the bottom of the right sidebar now that we’ve started the tourney.

OK folks the time is almost upon us for what is sure to be the event of the winter. We’ve got 30 kinds of Kale Soup from across The Cape to be judged by you the people, live music from Daniel Byrnes and John Beninghof, raffles, prizes and other surprises lined up for you to revel in. The Real Cape Kale Soup Cook Off is going down at The Beach House in North Falmouth on Sunday March 23rd and it all benefits the Teaticket Elementary PTO.

The first wave of tickets sold out quick and there are a limited number of these tickets available as well. These advance tickets will sell out too. There will be some tickets at the door but you will have to wait in line, so if you plan on coming make sure to get tix in advance to guarantee that you will get right into the event without a wait. (Kids under 12 are free)

Believe us when we tell you that you are going to want to witness this landmark event and help us crown the Cape Cod King or Queen of Kale! Tickets can be purchased with the form below: