A Gingers Guide to Getting Everything You Want

I always get what I want. That sounds bratty, (which I won’t lie, I am 98.76% of the time)..but I’m a firm believer in that if you want something bad enough then nothing should stop you from getting it. As long as it’s within reason.

• Unrealistic want: Marrying Zac Efron
• Realistic want: Sleeping with a look-a-like

• Unrealistic want: Getting down to my original weight of 7 pounds 6 ounces
• Realistic want: losing 15 pounds through exercising/not eating solids

You get the idea.

So how do you go about getting what it is that you want most? Call her what you will, but my girl Britney says it best..

You bust your ass, that’s how. I don’t care what it is that you’re trying to attain, you don’t stop until you get it. You want a promotion at work? Well then you work longer hours, go above and beyond what’s expected and maybe even sleep with your boss. Okay, that’s extreme but you follow me?

Nothing pisses me off more than when someone bitches about how badly they want something, but are too lazy or unwilling to work for it. I wanted this Kate Spade bag that I just couldn’t justify buying since I’m supposed to be able to pay rent, my car payment and some bullshit someone spit at me about needing insurance..so what did I do?

I ate nothing but brussel sprouts and mustard for the entire month of February and BOOM – got the bag AND matching wallet.

You have a crush on a guy that you really want to date? Well then quit spending more time with Ben & Jerry than you do in public, brush your hair and for Christ sakes learn some social skills. I don’t care how unfortunate looking you are, if you’re cool to chill with and don’t suck to talk to; 9 out of 10 times you can at least get him drunk enough to sleep with you.

Been in a funk lately and just want to be happy again? Then quit sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and go do something to turn your attitude around! Whether it be take a vacation, go for a run or get black out…just DO something about it!

So basically, what I’m saying is…just do what I say and act like me and you’ll get everything you want out of life. Like a new Kate Spade bag, hilarious blog and a drinking problem.