Close The Bridges – Super Ticks That Cause Meat Allergies Have Invaded Cape Cod

lone star – Imagine a tick that travels three times as fast as the black-legged deer tick, has excellent vision and hatches in stinging swarms that can put fire ants to shame.

The arthropod in question is the lone star tick, which scientists say has meandered northward and established a foothold at Sandy Neck Beach Park in Barnstable and Cuttyhunk in the Elizabeth Islands chain.

“It’s pretty clear that the lone star ticks are established (at Sandy Neck) now,” said Stephen Rich, a microbiologist at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, who is finishing a year’s sabbatical on the Cape.

Now the challenge is to find out if the aggressive ticks, once confined to southern states, are spreading across the Cape and how much disease they carry, Rich said.

Lone star ticks carry tularemia, human ehrlichiosis and STARI, for southern tick associated rash illness, which is sometimes confused with Lyme disease.

“Perhaps most disturbing, their bites have been associated with an allergy to red meat,” said Sam R. Telford III, a professor of infectious diseases at Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine at Tufts University.

The reaction “can range from hives all the way to anaphylactic shock,” Dapsis said.

That’s it, I’m done. Blow up the bridges. If one of these redneck, track star, KKK ticks from the south even dares to bite me and turn me into a vegetarian I am going to freak right the fuck out. At least deer ticks have some civility, Lyme disease is one thing, but taking away our ability to eat red meat is simply barbaric.

How have we allowed these hillbilly heathen ticks to cross the Mason-Dixon line and infiltrate our peninsula in the first place? Maybe it’s HGTV’s fault? If they keep handing out dream homes to southerners, who knows what other disease ridden varmint will hitch hike up here on their Beverly Hillbilly mobiles?

It’s time to lock it down folks. It’s stressful enough to be the vacation destination for New England and Europe, but once the floodgates to Cape Cod open from down south we are completely screwed. It’s one thing to be forced to deal with New Yorkers and their purse dogs. Dealing with a bunch of Honey Boo Boos and their Hep C infested pet Chupacabras is an entirely different story. And like most stories that start in the south, this one will most likely not end well.

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Comments 6

  1. While important to be informed, this article is fucking stupid. As if not being able to eat red meat is anywhere near comparable to suffering crippling arthritis, the inability to eat hardly anything, and constant pain for the rest of your life that advanced Lyme comes with. Get a clue. Red meat is terrible for you and the planets resources anyway ya ding dong.

  2. Imagine a giant tick, with unlimited strength, a massive inferiority complex, and a real short temper, is tear-assing around Nantucket island in a brand new Hippie suit. That sound like fun?

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