Centerville Woman Stabs Husband With A Pen After Going Through His Phone

CapeCodTimes.com – A Centerville woman, enraged that her husband had the phone number of an ex-girlfriend and another woman in his cellphone, stabbed the man with a pen Wednesday night, according to police reports.

Dude Girl, 56, of Nye Road, was charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon and assault and battery on a household member.

According to police reports, French, who recently had been separated from her husband, allowed him to move back into the house. When she saw the phone numbers of the women on his cellphone, one witness said, she ran upstairs with a pen in her hand screaming “I am gonna stab you.” She then entered the room where the man was in bed and stabbed him in the right shin with the pen, breaking the skin and causing bleeding, according to police reports.

The victim declined treatment by medical rescue personnel, according to the report.

This poor guy, he finally got the wife to let him come home, was probably just laying down and getting himself comfortable in the way that’s only possible in your own bed, and then…

“D’oh! Thaaaat’s right. I’m married to a complete lunatic that searches my phone and then stabs me with shit while I’m sleeping.”

In a way it’s kind of his own fault though. He has to know his wife is a phone creeper right? So how do you get back in the house and leave the numbers that got you kicked out to begin with in your phone? You don’t just wake up one day and find yourself married to a lunatic and all stabbed up with a Bic, that type of behavior reveals itself well before marriage. You need to either erase those numbers, or sleep with one eye open, because there’s a stabbing brewin’ for sure.

So whatever trade off deal he made with the devil when he married a psycho, if it’s that she’s blazing hot, makes a fantastic sandwich, or she’s a millionaire, he has to be smarter than leaving girls numbers in his cell phone. That’s just part of the deal when you enter into a relationship with Stabby Stabola from Stabbington, your phone is now community property. This dude should have learned that lesson a long time ago, he could have saved himself a ton of trouble, not to mention a case of ink poisoning.