Katharine The Shark Visited Dennis And Surfaced Near Hyannis Harbor This Morning

katharine cape cod shark3

Holy shit, she came all the way around the arm of the Cape overnight! (the orange lines connect the pings by timeline, not route, she isn’t walking on land… YET!) I’m starting to think Kate the Great is taking a liking to our harbors. She seems to be circling the Cape, almost like she is stalking something on land… or someone!?

Do you think she got wind of my blogs about my irrational fear of sharks and all the bad mouthing I’ve been doing about Great Whites? Is she coming for me and my family Like in Jaws 4 “The Revenge” when Jaws kills chief Brody’s son and then follows the Brody family to the Bahamas and stalks them?

All I know is I’m keeping one eye on that OCEARCH site and the other on my front door all day today. Call me paranoid but this bitch is cray! Just look at her pings from 2013 before I started talking shit about Great Whites…

katharine cape cod shark2

Now look at her 2014 pings and tell me this killing machine isn’t circling the Cape and stalking the shit out of me…

katharine cape cod shark4

I don’t care what anyone says, this beast is looking for someone, sharks don’t just swim up to Wellfleet Pier that far inland, take a quick peek at Dennis and than circle all the way around to Hyannis headed to Falmouth. This slut is on a mission and if the next ping isn’t further away from land so am I. I’ll be on I80 headed to Oklahoma so fast you won’t even remember I existed, no way I’m sticking around to face this pissed off people eater…

katharine cape cod shark5

I’ll be sure to update everyone the next time she pings, but be warned, if this fucker is any closer to my house than she is now we will all be reading “The Real Tulsa” come this time tomorrow.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Today In Cape Cod History – 94 Whales Beached In Eastham Euthanized In 1984

whales

CCT – On this day in 1984, workers from the New England Aquarium began giving lethal injections to beached pilot whales that could not be saved.

Ninety-four whales, some 20 feet long, were stranded Saturday on a beach in Eastham. The cause of the mass beaching, the largest in the Cape Cod area in recent years, is not known.

Ahh the ’80’s. When Reaganomics, cocaine, and aerosol hairspray ruled the world. Almost a hundred whales wash up on the beach? Nothing a lethal injection can’t take care of.

Can you imagine if this happened today? They would probably kick everyone off of Cape Cod until they figured out what caused it. The fact that they killed these whales is absolutely outrageous by today’s standards. We can’t even let Terry Schiavo die with dignity nowadays, they’d probably put the whales on gluten free feeding tubes and pull all of the doctors out of the people hospitals to keep them alive as long as possible.

Seriously though, what the hell causes 94 whales to beach themselves and commit suicide? I wonder if they saw the future and knew we were going to start roping off the beaches for Piping Plovers soon and they wanted to get one last day at the beach while they still could?

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Aerosmith’s Joe Perry Wanted To Be A Marine Biologist At WHOI… Wait, What?

rocks

Globe – The well-paced, well-plotted memoir, “Rocks: My Life In and Out of Aerosmith,” begins with Perry’s youth in Central Massachusetts in the 1950’s and ’60s. As a kid, Perry, who had a learning disability, struggled in school and suffered over it.

Beyond that, young Joe is portrayed as a nature lover/BB gun marksman/wannabe marine biologist, his parents promising him that if he gets his grades up he might be able to intern one summer at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution on Cape Cod.

“I was obsessed with learning from those men who explored the deep. I wanted to go deep,” Perry writes. And he would. Only in a different way.

This sounds like a skit on Saturday Night Live or something. Imagine Joe Perry as a marine biologist at WHOI in the ’70’s and ’80’s? He’d be drinking shots out of the fish tank he filled with Jack Daniel’s and snorting coke off a sea turtle’s ass. Next thing you know he wakes up on a ship in the Falkland islands with a random passed out penguin that’s wearing his puffy scarf around its head in the bunk with him.

It’s a good thing he ended up a rock star. Had he gone down the marine biologist path he probably would have contracted AIDS by shooting up with a needle he stole from the lab that extracts horseshoe crab blood. Who knows though, maybe he would have been successful and become known as the poor man’s Jacques Cousteau instead of being the poor man’s Keith Richards.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Great White Shark “Katharine” Was Only Feet Away From Wellfleet Pier Yesterday

shark ping

OCEARCH is one of the coolest websites ever. You can track any shark they have tagged with pings. Pings happen only when the sharks tag breaks the water and can send a signal, that’s why it looks like they cross land sometimes. Those lines aren’t actually their swimming path.

Anyway, the above screen shot is the path of “Katharine”, a 14 ft. Great White shark tagged off of The Cape last year and named after Falmouth native Katharine Lee Bates, author of “America the Beautiful”. Let’s zoom in a little shall we?

shark ping2

Well that is odd, it almost looks like Katharine is at the Wellfleet Dunkin’ Donuts grabbing a coffee or something. What the hell is going on here, let’s zoom in one more time…

shark ping5

WHOA! That Great White is like 10 feet away from a bunch of dinghies, shit it’s like 20 feet away from a bunch of cars! Let’s get even closer…

shark ping6

GET OUT OF THE WATER! Can these people hear me? Someone in Wellfleet go warn these people! Oh the humanity! This was yesterday at 5:45 p.m. isn’t shark season over? I figured these sons of bitches would be golfing at Hilton Head by now.

Quick! Somebody call the Nantucket Shark Wrangler and get him on the next boat to Wellfleet!

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Islamic Extremists Hack Mass Maritime Website

attack

CapeCodOnline.com – The Massachusetts Maritime Academy website was hacked twice Monday in a cyber-attack that appeared to stem from an Islamic extremist group, campus officials said.

Rear Adm. Richard Gurnon, president of the Buzzards Bay university, said a group known as the Moroccan Islamic Union-Mail is believed to be responsible for both hacks, the first of which redirected students and staff to a website showing a photograph of an American soldier’s grave, with audio of a man speaking in Arabic.

Staff members alerted the academy to the hack at about 1:30 p.m. after trying to access their email, only to be sent to the website showing the soldier’s grave above Arabic text.

Gurnon said the hack lasted for about an hour until staff members were able to plug holes in the academy’s system, preventing students and staff from being redirected to the website. But at about 9 p.m., Gurnon said, the same group attacked the homepage, shutting it down overnight and preventing students from finishing their homework assignments online.

Gurnon confirmed that the group did not access any personnel data or information from the academy’s business office. He suspected that the group was seeking publicity based on the mistaken belief that the academy has a military affiliation.

“It appears the people targeting the academy saw kids in uniform, assumed we were military and did this attack saying the military will die in the deserts of Iraq,” Gurnon said.

Do you think Islamic extremist groups have board meetings? If so heads are going to roll at the Moroccan Islamic Union-Mail’s headquarters when the bosses get wind of this. I can’t imagine that mistaking a merchant marine academy for a military target is going to go over well. Islamic extremists aren’t exactly known for their high levels of tolerance for subordinates who waste extremist time and resources.

The poor IT guy at the Moroccan Islamic Union-Mail, he thought he was destined for 70 virgins in heaven but instead he was probably demoted to printing out “death to America” handbills in the copy room for all of eternity.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Joe’s (STOLEN) Lobster Mart Still Open After Conviction For Buying Stolen Shellfish

joe's

CapeCodOnline.com – You’ll be able to buy lobsters, oysters and swordfish at Joe’s Lobster Mart for at least a couple more days.

John Kiernan, an attorney for Joseph Vaudo, the shop’s owner, said he filed for and received a temporary restraining order Friday night.

The state Department of Public Health issued a cease and desist order Friday and a decision to revoke the fish dealer’s licenses to buy and sell fish, prompted by his March conviction for receiving stolen oysters.

The DPH ruling was made by Commissioner Cheryl Bartlett, one month after a Sept. 4 hearing before the state Division of Administrative Law Appeals. Joe’s Lobster Mart has remained open since DPH first moved to revoke the licenses in April.

The state agency began the proceedings to revoke his licenses just weeks after Vaudo pleaded guilty in Barnstable District Court to receiving stolen oysters in his market. He was ordered to pay a $6,250 fine for admitting guilt to that and other charges.

State health officials were unmoved at last month’s hearing saying Vaudo showed no remorse for the transaction that led to his guilty plea in March in Barnstable District Court. Vaudo purchased oysters stolen by Michael Bryant from Yarmouth shellfish beds. Police had Bryant, a suspect later convicted in a string of oyster thefts in the summer of 2013, under surveillance.

Vaudo had argued there was no public health threat because he dumped the oysters in the Cape Cod Canal.

On Saturday, customers flowed in and out of the market’s front door, where a “Help Wanted” sign hung.

So to re cap this situation. The guy was convicted of receiving stolen oysters in March, undermining every honest shellfisherman, his customers, oyster farms, his community, and public health with no remorse whatsoever. Then the Department of Public Health moved to revoke his license in April, finally doing so over a month ago, yet Joe’s Lobster Mart is still open, thriving, and apparently hiring? Seems about right.

We called for an all out boycott of Joe’s in THIS POST back in April. That post garnered 2,700 likes so I’m pretty sure quite a few people agreed with us when we said…

“Vaudo on the other hand fucked over the very community that supports his business. Honest hard working people are working their ass off to provide him with the shellfish that he sells to other honest hard working people under the pretense that he is buying them from the honest hard working people in their community. Joe’s Lobster Mart buying stolen shellfish at a discount and selling them at regular prices is offensive on many, many levels.

Unfortunately Joe’s Lobster Mart will probably survive because of the money he makes from tourists who will never know and probably don’t care about this story. Even though this may be the case, there is no excuse for any year round resident to ever do business with this man again. We are calling for a full on boycott of Joe’s. Please share this, spread the word about this guy and BOYCOTT JOE’S LOBSTER MART! Let’s show Cape Cod business people they can’t fuck over the communities they do business in without repercussions.”

The bottom line is that Joe’s Lobster Mart still being open is just an example of bureaucracy failing again. Violating your communities trust this deeply and exposing yourself as a dishonest person who doesn’t care about supporting the very industry that you make your living from is inexcusable. Knowingly exposing the people in your community to a health risk is unforgivable.

The government may not have the balls to do anything about it but we can, if you are a resident of Cape Cod and you shop at Joe’s Lobster Mart then you are part of the problem, you might as well cut through the middle man and just steal shit straight from your neighbor and inject red tide into their kids eyeballs. Stop shopping there, now.

P.S. If you believe that Joe threw the oysters that he went through the trouble of purchasing on the black market into the Canal then I have some nice property in Florida I’ll sell you cheap.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

State Officials Unveil Two Plans For New Bridge Over The Cape Cod Canal

new bridge cape cod canal

CapeNews.net – The curtain came up yesterday, October 2, on the state’s plan for construction of a third automotive bridge across the Cape Cod Canal.

Top state transportation officials met in Boston with members of the Cape and Islands legislative delegation to describe their concept for building and financing the span.

Yesterday’s discussion is the first of a series of outreach meetings planned by state transportation officials in the coming weeks and months with local officials, civic and business groups, and residents on Cape Cod.

The first meeting may be held as soon as October 15, according to state Representative Randy Hunt, R-Sandwich, who attended yesterday’s briefing.

The officials anticipate that the construction of the bridge will take between six and eight years.

Given an estimated period of about two years prior to construction for tasks such as permitting and engineering, the bridge could open between 2022 and 2024.

Six to eight years to build? In the 1930’s they built both the Bourne and Sagamore bridges in two years using elbow grease and wooly mammoths. How is it that we are less efficient at building bridges now than we were 80 years ago? We build cars faster, we run marathons faster, we heat food faster, how is it that we can’t put up a bridge faster? We’ve learned how to beam the internet into our pockets from space but a river crossing? Sorry, that’s gonna take 4 times as long as it did back before we had rubber tires and transistor radios. Insanity.

P.S. Don’t forget this is Massachusetts. Saying a highway project will take 6-8 years is code for fifteen years and triple the budget.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony