Craigslist – Sony Television (South Dennis)

Sony Trinitron CRT 19 inch (diagonal) TV. No remote (use your cable remote) Free to good home.

First off, the entire “FREE” section of Craigslist should be renamed the “SAVE ME A TRIP TO THE DUMP” section. It is unreal what people list in there.

As for this TV ad, are they really saying there is no remote but the new owner should just use their cable remote? You honestly think that anyone who wants this piece of shit has cable? Use your cable remote, sure, while your at it why don’t you suggest the new owner puts rocket fuel in their ’83 YUGO. Maybe top their Hot Pocket dinner with Beluga Caviar?

The most hilarious thing is the “free to a good home” part though right? A good home my ass. Any home that needs a 19″ Sony TV that you pillaged during the war of 1812 is NOT going to be a “good home”. You’re gonna need to get over the fact that your TV is headed for a toxic environment where it will undoubtedly be verbally and physically abused, eventually being converted into some MacGyver style crack pipe. A good home. Talk about living in La La Land.

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We’ve been getting a ton of feedback about the early bird tickets for the festival. It seems quite a few people are bummed out that they were released on a Monday because they want to buy tickets but want to wait until pay day.

Well, we heard you loud and clear and we want to make sure all of our readers get a chance at the discount so we will be extending the early bird discount through the weekend. People shouldn’t lose out on the discount because they live on a budget, that wouldn’t vibe with our whole rational thought concept very well. Happy readers, happy site.

CLICK HERE to visit the festival site

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Boombasnap has a special space in The Real Cape’s heart. Yes we do have a heart. They played the inaugural Real Cape Music Festival last year, rolled with us on our Christmas Parade float, and have made countless memories for us over the years.

Well folks, the Fun Police struck last week in the middle of Boombasnap’s show at the Island Merchant when they shut it down with one week left to go before the last show. Luckily, The Beach House in Falmouth has stepped up and we have a little party on our hands tonight.

It’s the end of an era in our local music scene. Boombasnap has been a staple all over the Cape for many years and tonight closes a big chapter in Cape Cod music history. Their lead guitarist Dennis Christiano is moving to Cali to begin the next chapter in his life so let’s send him off in style.

There will be an early 9pm start since this is such a special occasion. The boys have told me they have something special lined up, and for those of you that have seen Boombasnap play, you know that really means something. See you tonight!

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Wellfleet held their town meeting the last few days and apparently there was a classic Cape Cod Fun Police article being voted on. Article 46 was to be a new noise ordinance that would have effectively outlawed any music in bars or restaurants. We are talking straight up Footloose stuff here. The ordinance was so vague that, as one man pointed out, it technically would have made babies illegal in Wellfleet since any sound audible from over 100 ft. away would have become a violation.

The good news is that the silent majority of Wellfleetians got wind of this beforehand, and apparently they showed up in droves to soundly defeat Article 46. That’s what I’m talking about Wellfleet! Chalk one up for the good guys. People ask all the time how to get involved in defeating the Cape Cod Fun Police and this is a perfect example. We outnumber them, if we stay on top of these types of things and take some time to show up to the battles, we WILL win the war.

The reason the Fun Police have gained such a foothold here is because they have nothing better to do with their lives than to worry about what everyone else is doing with theirs. The people like us, although in the majority, are simply too busy living our own lives to worry about this crap, but we can’t sit by idly anymore. We have been invaded. We may not have wanted this war, but they brought it to our shores. It is time to mobilize and fight.

The bottom line is that if we want change, it is going to start with communication, mobilization and working together to take action. That’s what happened in Wellfleet, a few people took to social media and screamed from mountain tops about Article 46, the silent majority heard the pleas, mobilized, and won. Way to go Wellfleet, you are an inspiration to us all.

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MVTimes.com – The pilot of a Mooney 201 single-engine plane with two passengers aboard landed at Martha’s Vineyard Airport Wednesday afternoon without the plane’s retractable landing gear lowered, without incident or injuries.

The control tower reported that a plane had landed without its wheels down, and the crash alarm was sounded, airport manager Sean Flynn told The Times. When fire personnel responded, all three occupants were safely out of the plane, which was resting upright on the runway.

This is why I stick to ferries, this incident worked out and everyone is fine so that’s great, kudos to this pilot, but these little paper mache planes freak me out. It’s not just that they bounce around and can drop like 30 ft. in a split second either. I get nervous because whenever you board one of these tiny planes the pilot inevitably says the same thing every time.

“Oh, don’t worry, we could land this thing on the street if we have to.”

Oh? And how are you so sure about that? How often do you need to land this thing on a frickin’ road that this has become your default go to line? Is that supposed to comfort me?

I’m supposed to be less nervous knowing that at the drop of a hat you are ready to land this thing on rte. 28? That sounds great in a post apocalyptic wasteland, but I got some news for ya, you know what there is on roads? Cars.

Oh and I haven’t even mentioned the elephant in the room, do you know what are conspicuously absent between Martha’s Vineyard and everywhere else? ROADS. Seriously pilots, get yourselves another comforting line for people that don’t like flying balsa wood airlines, the “we could land on the street if we have to” thing is not helping.

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Patch.com – Barnstable and Hyannis residents live longer than the average American.

The average life expectancy in the Massachusetts 9th Congressional District, which includes Barnstable and Hyannis, is 80.2 years, according to a new study. The national average is 79.1.

The statistics are based on the Geographies of Opportunity study by the Social Science Research Council.

What does this mean!? Has Ponce de Leon’s search for the fountain of youth finally come to an end? Did Wilford Brimley weave a cocoon around Hy-Town? Ummm… no, it just means that Patch is the stupidest website on earth.

You know where else people live longer than the national average? 49.9 percent of the places in the country. In a striking coincidence, 49.9 percent of the places in the country have a shorter life expectancy than average. Also 38% of statistics mislead 76% of the people 90% of the time.

This is the most useless waste of space in the history of the internet, and that is coming from someone who writes wastes of space on the internet for a living. I thought I was the laziest writer on earth until I came across this 100% meaningless article. Enough hyperbole you say? There’s no way it’s the MOST lazy writing in history right?

Take a look at this screenshot of the other articles this dude has written…

They took the time to replace one whole word in those articles! Thanks Patch, we are all officially dumber for having read anything on your website. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go start my 14 part series about how half the people on earth are taller than the other half of the people on earth.

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CapeNews.net – Registration for the 2015 New Balance Falmouth Road Race will begin on May 1 at 12 AM for Falmouth residents and residential taxpayers and will continue through May 7 at 11:59 PM.

General lottery registration will open on May 8 at 12 AM and close on May 17 at 11:59 PM.

The 2015 race will be on August 16. Register at www.falmouthroadrace.com; the race is capped at 12,800 runners.

Just a friendly reminder for all you runners out there. Just so you know, drinking margaritas and playing frisbee golf until 4 a.m. the night before the race will make it slightly more difficult to run. Insane Tony and I tested this theory in an exhaustive study a few years back so it’s pretty scientifical.

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