Thank god for these guys. It’s too cold to drink all day at the Chili Contest let alone fight a fire.

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One of our great pleasures when we are searching Twitter for news on Cape Cod is reading tweets from @CapeCod_Gman. He is new to Twitter but by the looks of things it is shaping up to be a great source of entertainment. Yes that profile pic is real and it is spectacular, here is his bio:

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WickedLocal.com – The snowy owl is not your typical beach bum, though he likes to lounge on the open sand. He’s gazing toward the water, yes, but with more than poetry on his brain. And the Arctic temperatures don’t seem to faze him. What is he doing there, sitting on Race Point Beach? What is he doing on Cape Cod, for that matter?

These white-winged visitors from the North have been seen so often this winter that bird experts are being forced to do tricks with math to keep up with it all.

The owls are likely hunting ducks, gulls and other waterfowl, he says. And they’re sitting on the beach because they prefer treeless, wind-swept terrain — the kind they’re used to in the Arctic Circle, where they breed… “These are big, serious predators. They can take down a great blue heron if they want,”

What are all these owls doing here? Why Cape Cod? I’ll tell you why. They probably read our story about how we are roping off our beaches to artificially prop up the Piping Plover population. They probably figure it’s a double whammy situation. First they can tear through the Plovers like a fat drunk dude devouring a bag of peeps at 2 a.m. on Easter morning. The Piping Plovers won’t even know what hit them because they’re so used to living in a bubble with no natural predators in the roped off V.I.P. sections we’ve been providing them.

Then the Snowy owls probably figure that if we rolled out a red carpet for the Plovers we’ll probably build beach front condos with taxpayer money for them to live in. Next thing you know the Audubon Society will turn Cape Cod into the Malibu beach for owls. Meanwhile we are laying on towels on the pavement in the parking lot fighting over french fries with the Seagulls.

This is why you don’t mess with Mother Nature folks, next thing you know your grandfather gets pecked to death for a french fry. Don’t let your grandfather get pecked to death for a french fry.

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Hey Polar Vortex suck on this. Just because it’s been colder on The Cape than in Alaska this winter doesn’t mean you can’t hang at the beach. Remember those Bud Light Real Men of Genius ads? Well thanks Mr. Beach Office Set Up Guy! (Justin Kemp) The only thing I can fault here is that you have to go with a beach chair and a cooler full of beers disguised as a computer tower with this set up, that’s just a no brainer.

P.S. Do you know the best kept secret on Cape Cod? If you tell Lawrence Lynch that you are making a sandbox for a kid they will give you the sand for free. Countless horseshoe pits have been drunkenly filled using this trick.

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Last night at the Falmouth Commodores Hot Stove event we had a chance to ask Peter Gammons a few questions. When we asked him for his point of view on Dan LeBatard handing his Hall of Fame vote over to Deadspin he definitely didn’t mince words. We have more coverage from the event in the works but for now here is the audio from the Gammons interview…

UPDATE: This story got picked up by Deadspin, join the discussion Here

h/t Ryan from Wicked Cape

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Travel + Leisure – Starting Point: Hyannis, MA

The Route: 60 miles on Massachusetts Highway 6A

What to Expect: Few North American beaches compare to Cape Cod National Seashore in winter, where the snow filters through the dune grass and gathers on the beach like a monk’s mandala. Worth hopping out, but if you want to stick to your car, a brief one-mile stretch between Truro and Provincetown offers the most scenic views.

It’s always funny hearing outsiders talk so highly about something we take completely for  granted. To Cape residents 6A to P-Town is a boring ride that takes forever and you’re lucky if you don’t get pulled over somewhere along the way. It’s like running the gauntlet. It’s articles like this that remind me how good we have out here on this peninsula. We literally dread the drive that the rest of the country dreams of taking just once in their life.

“Ugh I’m so pissed, I have to drive out to P-Town next week” – Cape Codders

“Hopefully someday we can take a vacation on The Cape and take a drive to P-Town” – Everyone Else

Just another example of Cape Cod problems being a little different than real problems.

It wouldn’t be a national article about Cape Cod if it didn’t get at least one thing completely wrong though…

Where to Stop: At any beach access point, massive black-and-white eiders (sea ducks) floating aloft the breakers and gulls battling head down into the bracing wind inspire us to dig into the sand and forge forward. Boardwalk strolls through Waquoit Bay National Estuarine Reserve andWellfleet Bay Wildlife Sanctuary offer additional protection for the birds—and you.

Hey Travel and Leisure if you start out in Hyannis and drive 6A to Provincetown you are gonna have a hard time stopping in Waquoit. You might want to think about looking at a map of Cape Cod before you publish the next article about how well you know the place, nice try though.

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BARNSTABLE — A man with a long criminal record and a penchant for leading police on chases was arraigned Wednesday on a charge of possession of heroin with intent to distribute.

On Tuesday afternoon, two officers found Donnell Pina hiding in the back seat of a Ford Focus at the Hertz Rent-A-Car on Stevens Street in Hyannis, Balcom said.

When Barnstable police Sgt. Mark Mellyn and Detective John York approached the car, they saw Pina throw a plastic baggie, which contained about 13 grams of heroin, on the floor of the car, Balcom said.

In February, he allegedly rammed three police cruisers during a chase on Willow Street in Yarmouth. Police said they found 10 bags of heroin and cocaine hidden between his buttocks that day. A heroin possession arrest in Maine in November led to the bail violation.

Well at least Donell is getting a little bit easier to capture. I guess that’s what happens when you get older and lose a step in the drug dealing game. It’s kind of sad actually, like watching Michael Jordan when he was a Washington Wizard and was holding on too long past his prime.

Just a year ago Donnell was at the top of his game leading cops on a big chase while ramming not one or two, but THREE cruisers before hiding 10 bags of blow and dope in his ass. Fast forward to yesterday and they find him crouched in the back of a parked Ford Focus with a bag lying on the floor next to him like some minor leaguer with no talent. He can’t even pull off the ass hide move anymore the poor thing.

Just sad when a five tool player like Donnell doesn’t know when to hang ’em up and retire. Reading this was like watching Mike Tyson get his ass kicked in his last few fights.

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