Capenews.net – The summer has gotten off to a rocky start with a rash of vandalism and nighttime parties at South Cape Beach State Park, prompting management to close the beach to visitors after 8 PM for the remainder of the season.

The gates to the park have traditionally been open for nighttime visitors after the park stops charging for beach parking at 5 PM.

The new gate closing policy took effect after the July Fourth holiday weekend.

John J. Singleton, facilities supervisor for the Waquoit Bay National Estuarine Research Reserve, which oversees the park for the Massachusetts Department of Conservation and Recreation, said the new policy has been very effective in curtailing rowdy after-dark behavior at the beach.

“We cater to people during the day, not people at night. Closing the gates at 8 PM is the best thing we’ve ever done,” he said.

At the Tuesday, July 15, meeting of the South Cape State Beach Advisory Committee at Mashpee Town Hall, Mr. Singleton described some of the hooliganism that occurred at the park earlier this season.

Mr. Singleton also reported that he came across a full-fledged party, complete with a disc jockey with generator-powered speakers, set up on the beach one evening.

Oh my god! I for one can not believe this. I’ve heard whispers and horror stories about this kind of thing before, but never this close to home. I can not believe that right here on our own peninsula, right under our noses, there has been actual… real… full fledged… HOOLIGANISM?!?!?

(quick press play)

Hey you know what people did at South Cape Beach at night in the ’70’s? They partied. Hey you know what people did at South Cape Beach at night in the ’80’s? They partied. Hey you kno… Alright you get the point.

The Fun Police should just cut through the chase and shut the whole world down at night. Seriously, just close earth at 6 p.m. Sorry folks, but the roads, the woods, the beaches… all closed. Earth will re open in the morning, but until then just lay in bed and stare at your idiot box until 7 a.m. You all just can’t be trusted to use earth at night, sorry.

P.S. Whoever threw that party with the DJ, a generator and speakers?  How about a heads up email next time?

P.P.S. Did you know that in other vacation destination areas they actually let people party on their beaches? Insane right? Don’t they know the best way to attract visitors is to frown upon fun and not allow them to do things they can’t do at home?

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Plane performing touch and go lndgs, left runway and struck small trees. Airport closed until further notice. pic.twitter.com/JRjvEAYSro

— Chatham Police Dept. (@chathampolicema) July 22, 2014

You couldn’t pay me to get in a plane that small. They always say the same thing whenever you get into a small plane like that and it inevitably starts shaking violently.

“Oh, don’t worry, we could land this thing on the highway if we had to.”

Oh really? How and why do you know that? How often do you need to land one of these on the highway for that to be the go to speech when you hit turbulence? Why should that make me feel better anyway? Do you know what else uses highways? 18 Wheelers and Chevy Suburbans and shit. Who do you think wins a battle between a Mack truck and one of these balsa wood airplanes with a twisted up rubber band turning the prop?

I’d rather put on some flippers and play in a water polo match with a bunch of gray seals off the coast of Nantucket than get in one of those remote control Kennedy killers.

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Capecodonline.com – Loading her car with groceries Monday afternoon outside Market Basket, East Falmouth resident Silvia Carnevali had an unexpected trip to take.

“I am going right to Stop & Shop,” Carnevali said as she left the store with her 9-year-old son and his friend.

Carnevali hoped to buy her produce at the Market Basket, which she shops at about once a week. But with large parts of the fruit and vegetable sections empty or diminished, Carnevali said she was forced to go elsewhere for her produce.

The East Falmouth woman said she hadn’t heard about the corporate and family drama at Market Basket when she showed up to shop Monday. She asked a cashier about the lack of products and said she was told staff did not know when the supplies would be replenished.

“The store is kind of a mess,” she said.

The shortages have been caused by an ongoing feud within the family that owns the grocery chain, and employees’ efforts to try to force the return of a popular CEO who was ousted last month.

Thousands of employees and supporters rallied Monday at the company’s headquarters Tewksbury, calling for Arthur T. Demoulas to be reinstated as CEO. It was the second such rally in less than a week.

Let me get this straight. Market Basket, a chain of 71 stores, fired their CEO and now the store on Cape Cod is out of zucchini and broccoli? How does that make any sense whatsoever? Was part of Arthur T. Demoulas’ responsibilities as CEO to personally deliver produce to the Sagamore store?

No wonder there are rallies being held to put the guy back in charge. Whoever they replaced him with must be a grade A asshole. I’m not a supermarket expert by any stretch, but I’m pretty sure if your CEO sucks so bad that people can’t buy fruit at your stores anymore, it might be time to re think your hiring process.

P.S. I have to confess I’ve never been to a Market Basket. I always got the feeling it was like an Ocean State Job Lot for groceries, like they sell mac and cheese that survived a warehouse fire and shit. Am I wrong on that? Is the place a legit grocery store for normal people?

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Capecodonline.com – Two North Falmouth men are being charged with breaking into a concession stand at Old Silver Beach where they allegedly stole candy, among other items, according to court records.

James J. Pierson, 45, of 246 North Falmouth Highway, and Brian Bortz, 46, of 2 Trickett St., pleaded not guilty to charges of breaking and entering, larceny from a building and destruction of property valued at more than $250 in Falmouth District Court Friday.

Pierson was held in lieu of $2,500 cash bail. Bail for Bortz was set at $1,000.

The two men allegedly broke a window at the Old Silver concession stand and stole candy and other items, records show. The theft was caught on surveillance tape, which led police to Pierson and Bortz, records show.

When police arrested Bortz in a tent behind Pierson’s apartment, he allegedly had Sour Patch Kids and Twizzlers inside with him, according to court records.

Are we sure we have the ages right in this story? 45 and 46? Seems more like we just read about an 11 and 12 year old. One dude was arrested in a tent with Sour Patch Kids and Twizzlers? Was he reading a Super Man comic by flashlight too?

Holy shit man you’re 46 years old, time to stop breaking into concession stands, stealing candy and hiding in your tent. Grow up, steal some booze and cigarettes from a convenience store and hide out in some sleazy hotel room will ya?

Next week we’ll probably read about this dynamic duo being arrested for stealing their dad’s Playboys and kicking little Sally from down the street in the shins.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony