CapeCodOnline.com – Three hikers were rescued after they became stranded off Sandy Neck Beach on Monday, Barnstable fire Capt. Christopher Beal said.

At around 9:15 a.m. emergency responders were alerted to the hikers stuck on a sandbar as the tide rose, he said. A rescue boat was dispatched and brought the three to shore, Beal said.

There were no injuries.

What the hell? It takes six hours to go from low tide to high tide. Did these people go out on a sand bar and eat Turkey legs sprinkled with Ambien and wash it down with warm milk?  That’s the only explanation right? They had to be unconscious. If not how does nobody notice the ocean rising and the land disappearing over a six hour period.

P.S. In related news a man was attacked by a slug today. Initial reports stated that the man first noticed the slug heading towards him around 12 noon, he was unable to escape and the assault took place at 6 p.m.

DISCLAIMER: They weren’t rocket scientists, that was sarcasm.

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BostonGlobe.com – It’s summer on the Outer Cape, and that means the shrinks have once again returned. Each year, between Memorial Day and Labor Day, thousands of psychiatrists, psychologists, and other species of mental health professional bypass the bustle of the Mid-Cape to get to the comparative quiet of Wellfleet and its surrounding towns. It’s a natural phenomenon as reliable as the swells rising off Coast Guard Beach.

The therapists come here for various reasons, but a big one is that so many people in their line of work have come here before — going back three generations. The group I’ve joined on this day in late June evokes the summer excursions that Sigmund Freud himself took to Bavaria and the Swiss Alps a century ago, vacationing with his eager psychoanalyst students, who in turn were trailed by some of their patients.

Who knew? Talk about an untapped resource! Thousands of mental health professionals just happen to visit a place where we have an inordinate amount of lunatics? Hey shrinks, maybe instead of chilling on the beach you could do some investigating into what part of the brain makes a tourist incapable of using  a rotary? Or maybe you could give some electroshock therapy to people who light off fireworks during the day? Or how about trying to figure out why people in Hyannis put $10,000 rims on $2,000 Honda Civics? The possibilities are legitimately endless. Shit, they could spend years on Insane Tony alone.

P.S. Psychiatrists flying and driving to Wellfleet is NOT a “natural phenomenon”, it’s a decision manipulated by thought. A lunar eclipse is a natural phenomenon.

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Liam Maguire’s brunch on Sunday Funday is now officially an institution. Last week was one of the best times we’ve had in a while. Great crowd, insane build your own Bloody Marys, nice mellow acoustic music and a perfect Sunday morning vibe, not to mention the food is incredible.

We try not to steer people wrong here at The Real Cape and Liam’s has definitely held up their end of the bargain. Sunday Funday is seriously our favorite day of the week at this point. There is no better way to cap off a weekend on Cape Cod than to indulge in a world class Bloody Mary.

Sunday Funday starts at noon with The Silent Trees playing some mellow acoustic music and the now famous Build Your Own Bloody Mary’s plus a great food menu. Just take a look at this pic and tell me it doesn’t look like something that is as hedonistic as it gets. Decadence at it’s finest… you owe it to yourself after a Cape weekend of debauchery.

Sunday Brunch

Breakfast Burrito

Scrambled eggs, bacon, cheese, and two hash browns with an avocado chipotle aioli.

Irish Breakfast

Two eggs cooked to order, two rashers, two bangers, black and white pudding, home fries, and a fried tomato. Served with brown bread.

Crab cakes Eggs Benedict

Two English muffins topped with jumbo crab cakes, Irish bacon, poached eggs and our own homemade hollandaisesauce. Served with home fries.

French Toast

Three slices of thick cut Sourdough bread dipped in our own cinnamon French toast batter. Served with a side fresh fruit.

Chicken & Waffles

Habanero Guinness waffles with two fried chicken breasts, smothered in Southern style white gravy, made with our own bangers. Served with REAL New England Maple syrup and pickled vegetables.

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Nice to see Luke getting in shape and working on his spin kicks for the festival. Check out the one below for the extra special set the rest of Crooked Coast has planned. Looks like this is going to be a doozy! One word, CANNONS!

The Festival is only 8 days away. Get your tix now folks, they are moving fast and the price is going up as soon as the pre sale tix are gone.

Don’t forget Pixy 103 and Matty B will be there all day, as well as Dirty Water TV.

Please check out the festival website HERE

Keep up with the fest on the Facebook event page HERE

Follow the fest on Twitter HERE

Check out our insane VIP packages HERE

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CapeCodOnline.com – The former treasurer of the Cape Cod Kennel Club was sentenced to jail Thursday after facing charges she doctored bank statements and took more than $62,000 from the Sandwich-based organization.

Cynthia Savoia, 43, pleaded guilty in Barnstable Superior Court to falsifying entries into books and larceny of more than $250 pursuant to a single scheme.

Judge Gary Nickerson sentenced Savoia to two years in the Barnstable County Correctional Facility with six months to serve and the balance suspended during 10 years of probation for the larceny charge. She was also sentenced to one year in the county correctional facility with six months to serve and the balance suspended during 10 years of probation for the falsifying books charge.

Nickerson ordered the sentences to run concurrently.

Savoia must pay the full amount she owes — $62,199.40 — within the next 10 years. One of the conditions of her sentence is that she pay $15,000 within the next 10 days. Her probation will end when she pays off the balance.

The only thing worse than stealing from old people is stealing from dogs. Dogs just love people unconditionally and trust everyone, it’s in their nature. You ever take a toy from a dog? The poor thing gets so sad it’s heartbreaking, and they can’t fathom how someone could be so cruel.

Imagine the dogs getting wind of someone stealing $62,199.40 from them. I hope there is doggy Zoloft because they are probably spiraling into a deep depression as we speak. Now if you’ll excuse me I just saw a baby walk by my house with a bag of M&Ms, I’ve got to run outside and snatch it out its hands

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CapeCodToday.com – On this day in 1956, two ocean liners collided in thick fog, approximately 50 miles south of Nantucket.

The Stockholm had just left New York City bound for Sweden. The Andrea Doria was due to arrive in New York at 9:00 o’clock the following morning.

The three-year-old Italian liner was not only one of the most luxurious vessels afloat but was considered the safest. She had the latest radarscopes and was built with watertight compartments. Nevertheless, 11 hours after the Stockholm rammed her broadside, the Andrea Doria capsized and sank in 225 feet of water.

Thanks to one of the most remarkable rescues ever conducted at sea, all of the 1,706 passengers and crew who survived the collision made it safely back to land.

All I can ever think about when I hear stories of the Andrea Doria, is poor George Costanza losing out on that great NYC apartment.

P.S. The Andrea Doria was thought to be unsinkable. Sound familiar? I think there was some other big boat in history that everyone said was unsinkable. Maybe we should stop saying that about boats, doesn’t seem to work out so well.

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