CCT – The Town of Barnstable is seeking residents and visitors interested in shaking their booty in celebration of the town’s 375th. Participants of all ages are encouraged to be part of a celebratory flash mob dance. The 8-minute interactive dance will be performed at the Founder’s Day Picnic on Sunday, September 21 on the Hyannis Village Green on Main Street.

The Town of Barnstable 375 Committee is hoping for 375 dancers. Volunteer Michele Colley is coordinating and choreographing the performance.

Anyone interested in participating must either register at a rehearsal or email Michele Colley at [email protected].

Umm… hey Barnstable? I don’t claim to be an expert or anything, but I’m like 387% sure that this is not how a Flash Mob works. I’m pretty sure a Flash Mob is supposed to take unsuspecting people by surprise. Therefore, having articles in large publications that specify the exact date and location of a Flash Mob, inherently immediately nullifies its status as a Flash Mob.

Your picnic sounds fun, and I’m sure that your dance recital will be great, but let’s not lose sight of the fact that it is indeed a DANCE RECITAL, not a Flash Mob. To recap…

• Flash Mob = surprises unsuspecting people unaware of what is happening
• Dance Recital = takes place at a publicized time and location with an audience fully aware of what is going on

P.S. This is great news for people that are interested in “shaking their booty” at a town picnic huh? How often does an opportunity for that segment of the general population come along? Once, maybe twice a decade?

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Buzzfeed is at it again. One of our most popular posts ever was a correction of one of their articles about Cape Cod. I think it’s time we dismantle another one of their pieces of “journalism” now that they are taking shots at our Cape Cod native daughter.

Meghan Trainor’s “All About That Bass” is currently sitting at number 2 on the Billboard Hot 100. According to the liner notes, the song was co-written by Meghan Trainor and Grammy Award-nominated songwriter Kevin Kadish. It’s recently been pointed out, however, that “All About That Bass” sounds suspiciously a lot like a song by a South Korean group called Koyote.

Here are the two songs…

Do they sound alike? Yeah a little bit, the melodies are similar but for starters that Korean song is in a completely different language.

In all seriousness though, I’m calling bullshit on the plagiarism angle. I’m willing to bet that if you go back to old school Jamaican/Caribbean music, even before reggae, you could find a bunch of songs that sound just like these two.

Sure, it’s a rip off, but it’s a rip off of a rip off of a rip off, all music is. That progression in that style of music is like a 1-4-5 chord progression in Rock and Roll, it’s the basis of a million songs.

Now we get to the real interesting twist. Our friend Dennis from Cape Cod Phish Heads alerted us to this article and here is why…

Interestingly though, Joo Young Hoon and Meghan Trainor both might have taken inspiration from Phish. The band released a song in 1989 that is also pretty similar.

Now we are cooking with gas! How hilarious is it that these two massively popular songs may have been ripped off from one of the most ridiculous Phish songs ever written? If I know Phish like I think I do, there will be a Contact>All About That Bass>Contact on fall tour sometime, or at least a tease.

P.S. The absolute, hands down, best part of this entire article is that this is Joo Young Hoon, the guy who wrote the Korean song…

Get the fuck outta here! That’s not Joo Young Hoon, that’s Long Duck Dong! Is Meghan Trainors next song gonna be called “No More Yanky My Wanky”?!

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

WL – More than a dozen businesses have gotten together to decry the “deplorable” condition of Route 28 in West Chatham. And they are taking their message to the streets.

They have put up a number of signs along the roadway pleading that it be paved. The road is abysmal shape, they argue, and the state won’t pave it until the roadway is redone – something town officials have been talking about for years.

I have nothing to say about Rte. 28 in Chatham and whether or not it needs to be paved, or changed, or whatever. I don’t have a horse in this race. The only reason for this blog is to ask a question.

Is putting signs on the street a legitimate way to get things like this done? I’m genuinely confused as to how a lawn sign equates in any way to the government deciding to bust out the gravel and pave a road? Am I missing something here? Is there a chance that the MASS DOT might happen to drive by with their equipment, see the signs, and just start paving shit? I just don’t see how  point A gets you to point B in this case.

What I do know is that I’m not taking any chances. I’m getting in on this sign=results game and I’m going all in. I had our chief graphic designer work all through the night and this puppy has been on my lawn since 7 AM…

No results yet, but I figure there’ll be at least a 30 pack out there by the end of the day. Unless this lawn sign thing only works in Chatham?

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

I’m sure by now everyone has heard about that shark that some helicopter spotted off of Duxbury beach. They proceeded to close down the entire South Shore and evacuate everyone into bomb shelters on high ground. I’m pretty sure they can still only go into the water up to their ankles even days later.

Hey Duxbury, we had two Great White Taggings, YESTERDAY ALONE. Do you know how many beaches we shut down? Zero. So have fun with the anti Sharknado tanks rolling through your streets like World War III, we’ll be playing a friendly game of tag with our Great Whites down here if you need us… wusses.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

CCT– A traffic stop on Main Street Sunday afternoon led to the arrest of three, including a juvenile on illegal gun charges. According to a Barnstable police release, Officer Corey Frederickson pulled over a driver on Main Street around 5:30 p.m. for a defective taillight and a marked lanes violation.

As Officer Frederickson spoke with the driver, 19-year-old Jeffrey Bartelmy of Stoughton, he reportedly noted Bartelmy’s red and glassy eyes and smelled a strong odor of marijuana, police said. As he spoke to Bartelmy, Officer Frederickson reportedly observed the front seat passenger “shifting around” and moving his hand to his waistband repeatedly.

Back-up was requested and when the front seat passenger, a juvenile from Brockton was frisked, officers pulled a loaded .38 caliber revolver from his waistband, according to police, officers found and seized two bags–one containing an undisclosed amount of heroin, the other containing an undisclosed amount of marijuana.

Come on guys, really? A defective taillight? Your criminal careers aren’t going to be very lucrative if you can’t figure out the basics. Just make yourself a checklist before you leave the house…

• Do I have my gun?
• Do I have my weed?
• Do I have my heroin?
• Do the car lights work?

Feel free to print that out and put it on your fridge, maybe even laminate it and tape it to your dashboard. For you extra challenged dope heads you could even wear it around your neck like a lanyard. People might even think you have a job!

P.S. Don’t for a second think that the irony of a dude from Brockton getting arrested in Brockton-By-The-Sea was lost on me. Sometimes even a .38 caliber revolver needs a little beach vacation to its sister city.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

So the seal population is officially so bad that they are turning the ocean into a sewage plant and making the streets of P-Town literally smell like shit. Oh, and many experts believe the population is only going to keep booming and inundating more marinas and other space inhabited by humans in the next few years.

It was one thing when the seals started attracting Great White sharks to Cape Cod like moths to a flame. It was another thing when they started eating every Striped Bass in sight. It is an entirely different story when they start stinking up the streets of Provincetown during their parade. Just take a look at these Facebook posts from a P-Town group I belong to for research purposes only…

A pissed off tourist isn’t much to worry about. A pissed off fisherman is a pretty scary thing, but the last thing anyone wants to deal with is a bunch of pissed off gays. Ruin their parade once and there’ll be some Facebook backlash, ruin it twice and I can guarantee that clubbing will take on a whole new meaning. Just watch how fast they trade techno music for Louisville sluggers.

Seriously though, at this point we just need someone to be the patsy. All it will take is one person to get bit by a shark and it’s open season on these seals. That entire peninsula full of them is nothing a Gatling gun couldn’t take care of in a matter of minutes.

P.S. Seriously, this is disgusting…

P.P.S. Good news for Georgia though…

thanks to Andrew for the tip

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Examiner.com – In Centerville, Massachusetts, a beautiful Wooly Siberian husky was surrendered to the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals located near Cape Cod. The message to Dogs Deserve Better, an animal advocacy and welfare organization follows:

“This old girl was just dumped at my local MSPCA. I have met her, and she was friendly, but of course a bit anxious. She is 14, in excellent health, very pretty, wooly coat, brown eyes, spayed and up to date on shots. NO
behavior issues and in great shape; lots of life left in her. . Needs a loving home. I am trying to find a foster immediately to get her out of the shelter. She is at the Centerville MSPCA.”

Under the owner information for the reason she was surrendered was “want to travel.”

What kind of person can just get rid of their 14 year old dog so they can go to Europe? That’s like putting your kid up for adoption when they turn 17 because you don’t feel like taking care of them anymore. “Sorry Junior, we know you have another year of High School left but your mother and I really want to go to France. I’m sure they’ll find you a nice foster home, and we’ll send a post card from the Eiffel Tower.”

Fuck these people, they should have their names made public so they can get the ridicule they deserve. That dog would probably lay down on train tracks to save its owners and this is what she gets in return? Somebody needs to adopt this dog A.S.A.P. and pamper the living shit out of her.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony