CL – I’ll buy you a slice of pizza if …

You let me get a couple photographs of you eating it!!Sounds silly but i really am interested in doing this

Looking for ages between 16-30 years old

Really not strict about this looking for all types of people

Boston , Worcester , Providence , Cape areas are all welcome

This dude left some significant details out of this ad. For instance, he completely forgot to mention the part where he chops you up into little pieces and leaves everything but your extremeties in the dumpster behind Papa Gino’s, and then gets rid of your head and hands by braising them to make a delicious stew.

Oh and the rape, he just glossed right over the rape part.

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CapeCodOnline.com – Neighbors upset with an aerial adventure park planned for Heritage Museums & Gardens will take their fight to the Zoning Board of Appeals. On Friday, several neighbors appealed a decision by Building Inspector Paul Spiro to issue a building permit for the park, which would include zip lines and rope bridges on a 4-acre wooded parcel at Heritage.

Blair Haney, the town’s director of planning and economic development, said the appeal will be heard by the zoning board at a hearing tentatively scheduled for Oct. 28. The appeal is based on the belief that an amusement park is not allowed in a residential district, Haney said.

“Everything was done behind our back,” said Carlo DiPersio of Morgan Trail, one of the neighbors who filed the appeal. Neighbors are worried about how much traffic the park might generate. Spiro granted the permit because Heritage is exempt from zoning as a nonprofit educational facility, Haney said. DiPersio said he wants the public to know the fight isn’t about the museum, but about the proposed changes.

“We’ve been neighbors with Heritage for 43 years. We love Heritage,” he said. “We are the guardians of the spirit of Heritage.”

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills every time I read about how much the fun police hate these zip lines. It’s some ropes in the woods for fucks sake. It’s going to give some kids something to do besides get in trouble. I just don’t understand how anyone can be so upset about this, but then I read that last quote…

“We are the guardians of the spirit of Heritage.” – Carlo DiPersio

Ummm… no you’re not! You happen to own a house nearby. You have absolutely zero claim to guardianship of Heritage, none, zilch, nada! This is the lunacy that is the fun police, this guy legitimately thinks he owns the fucking place because he lives near it. There is an absolutely amazing amount of self importance on display here folks.

These people need to get a grip, they aren’t building a casino, it’s a nonprofit educational facility putting some ropes in a few trees for kids to play on. Someone needs to pull a Kanye when this guy is talking at the hearing and yell “Carlo DiPersio hates young people!”

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NP – National Grid customers will see their electric bills jump nearly 50 percent from October to November, according to the company.

“This is quite a spike,” said John Howat, senior energy analyst for the National Consumer Law Center, who said the upcoming cost per kilowatt hour is a record high. He told the News Service, “This is a dynamic that’s occurring in the wholesale power market.”

This winter’s electric rates, which kick in Saturday, Nov. 1, will be 37 percent higher than last winter’s rates and 49 percent higher than current rates, according to National Grid spokesman Jake Navarro.

NSTAR, which serves portions of Metro Boston and Cape Cod, and Western Massachusetts Electric Company, which serves the western part of the state, are expected to file their rates in mid-November for a period beginning Jan. 1.

Seems legit.

NSTAR is just one of those companies that has us by the short and curlies. They can teabag us with higher prices whenever they want and we are powerless to stop them. What are you gonna do, boycott electricity? Nope… nuts to the face it is!

Can you imagine if your favorite sandwich shop raised their prices 50% overnight? How about if pumpkin beer were all of a sudden $25 a twelve pack at your local packy? It would cause social media activism not seen since KONY 2012, basic betches would be out in droves picketing the store in their North Face jackets, yoga pants, and Uggs. They would be boycotted and out of business in a week.

Not NSTAR though, they just jack our shit up on a whim and then throw some chemicals into the ground for good measure. Someone should really think about putting some windmills out in the ocean or something…

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PJ – Two skydivers died after crashing into a barn Sunday, the Cape Cod Times is reporting.

The two men were connected by a harness and using one parachute, the Barnstable police told the Cape Cod Times.

Officials released the names of the two men on Monday. They are Andrew Munson, 29, of Nantucket and his skydive instructor Eldon Burrier, 48, of West Lynnwood, Washington.

They were jumping in tandem using the same parachute from a Skydive Barnstable plane operating out of Cape Cod Airfield when they struck the garage on the property across the street from the airfield, according to a statement from Cape and Islands District Attorney Michael O’Keefe’s office.

The incident is being investigated by the Massachusetts State Troopers assigned to the Cape and Islands District Attorney’s Office and the Aeronautics Division of the state Department of Transportation.

Just a shitty situation all around. Hopefully they figure out what went wrong so this never happens again.

photo credit hyannisnews.com

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Capecodonline.com – A man with ties to Mississippi is being held without bail after he allegedly stabbed another man Tuesday morning on Nantucket.

The victim, 24, who lives on Square Rigger Road, told police that James Walker, 26, who lives on the island but is from Mississippi, accused him of being a police informant, according to Nantucket police.

Walker allegedly pushed the victim, who ran. Walker caught up to him outside the home, stabbing him with a knife and threatening to kill him, police said.

The victim got away and was treated at Nantucket Cottage Hospital for wounds that were not considered life-threatening, police said.

Walker turned himself in Wednesday morning, police said. He is charged with attempted murder, assault in a dwelling while armed, witness intimidation, assault and battery, and two counts of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, a knife.

Nantucket District Judge Peter Lauriat ordered Walker held pending a dangerousness hearing Monday.

In my endless research of the more upstanding members of Cape Cod society, I have come across the term “dangerousness hearing” quite a few times. In certain situations it always struck me as a bit strange. Is it really necessary to hold a hearing to deem the “dangerousness” of a dude who just stabbed and threatened to kill someone? Isn’t that kinda like holding a creepiness hearing for Jeffrey Dahmer? Ahh… yeah, I’m pretty sure the guy who put a hole in a human being with a knife is dangerous.

In all fairness the proper procedure in this situation should really be to hold a “snitchiness hearing” for the other guy. I mean if he is really a snitch you have to let Stabby McGee out of jail right? He was just doling out a punishment perfectly suited to the crime, everyone knows that snitches get stitches, that’s just a part of life. Stabby was just following protocol.

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Dunkin’ – Happy National Coffee Day! We’re excited to celebrate one of our favorite holidays with a great offer around our new Rainforest Alliance Certified™ Dark Roast coffee and a bold, yet smooth contest! Today, in participating Dunkin’ Donuts restaurants nationwide and while supplies last, guests can receive a free medium cup of our NEW hot Dark Roast coffee.

Sweet, free cof… wait a second… Dark Roast?! Oh screw you Dunkin Donuts, don’t be pawning off your new frou-frous bullshit on National Coffee Day. If we wanted crappy burnt dark coffee we’d go to Starbuck’s.

P.S. Unless Maria is pouring mine, then I’d take a cup of urine.

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That’s right folks, Philly’s own Big D is back on the peninsula. Break out the Yuengling and ring the Liberty Bell because shit’s about to get Wawa at The Beach House! I’m giving you The Real Cape good time guarantee for this one, Don’s infectious energy will suck you into its vortex and spit you out the other side with dance moves you didn’t even know you had.

The Cape’s own Boombasnap starts things off at 10 p.m. with a set of their own and will stay to back up Don for the rest of the night. This show is kind of like the Matrix, you can’t be told how much of a good time you will have, you just have to see for yourself. Do it. You won’t regret it.

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