HyannisNews.com – Tonight we have your typical ‘HyTown man goes berserks, and smashes front door, while waiving a knife around’ story…

(… sorry, it was all I could find on such a slow and dreary night.)

Last night, police rushed to the Noah Shelter at 77 Winter Street for an out of control man who became violent.
The Noah Shelter, run by the Housing Assistance Corporation, has been an emergency-access homeless shelter for men and women since 1984.

It’s a 60-bed shelter which attempts to provide a safe place for people to sleep. It ordinarily operates at full capacity and has served the local homeless population well.

The thriving shelter is like the ballpark in the popular 1989 movie Field of Dreams…
“You build it, [they] will come…”

… and ‘come’ they have! The homeless and downtrodden flock to HyTown in droves. For decades, it has been an ongoing boon for those who provide services for the homeless in Hyannis… and there’s no end in sight.

Once again Hyannis News proving that it is the best news website on Cape Cod. I’m not really going to comment on the actual story, pontificating on the craziness of some homeless guy is kind of like hitting yourself in the head over and over with a hammer. It feels really good when you stop. I do however have a serious question…

The other day I went with Fat Kid (our ad/operations guy) on his rounds in Hyannis. Usually when I go to Hyannis it’s for a specific purpose, it’s been a while since I’ve driven around the place and I was absolutely flabbergasted by the number of homeless people we saw. I’m pretty sure there are more homeless people per square mile in Hyannis than there are in Boston.

What the hell is the story here? Is it the milder weather on Cape? Are they all from Hyannis or do they move there? Is it because there are 60 person homeless shelters like the above article states? What came first, the chicken or the egg? If you shut down the shelters would the homeless move? All I know is I hope someone smarter than me is thinking of a fix, because if I were a tourist and I witnessed what we saw the other day I would inject Ebola into my eyeballs before I ever went back to Hyannis on vacation.

P.S. Ever wonder why homeless people in the north don’t just start walking south in September? It’s not like they don’t have the time, just get to where it’s warm year round, even birds have that shit figured out.

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Psst… hey, did you know that we are bringing The Wailers to Cape Cod to play the Legend album in its entirety? Seriously, the entire album, in order. Just look at this songlist…

1. Is This Love
2. No Woman, No Cry
3. Could You Be Loved
4. Three Little Birds
5. Buffalo Soldier
6. Get Up, Stand Up
7. Stir It Up
8. One Love/People Get Ready
9. I Shot The Sheriff
10. Waiting In Vain
11. Redemption Song
12. Satisfy My Soul
13. Exodus
14. Jammin

Here’s a video of a recent Wailers show, they are sounding better than ever…

And now you can get tickets in person to avoid internet fees at Mocean in Mashpee Commons. Spinnaker Records on Main St. in Hyannis, The Dead Zone in South Yarmouth or The Beach House in North Falmouth. The show is 18+. Selectah Niko Onedrop will be opening the night at 7 p.m. and The Wailers take the stage at 8 p.m. so it’ll be over early since it’s a Thursday night.

This show is selling faster than anything we’ve done so be sure to get your tickets in advance at one of these spots or online HERE

Be sure to join the Facebook event page HERE for updates

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

The crack Real Cape street team is reporting a car INSIDE the Lost Dog Pub. As always, since we are a hard hitting news source we don’t know one single detail about the actual story, but we do have this photo that looks like it was taken from inside a jail cell… so there’s that.

thanks to Damon for the pic

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The South Shore might want to issue a warning to make sure nobody decides to go splashing around in Kayaks like those two brain surgeons in Plymouth. Katharine has a tendency to come in close, we wouldn’t want any repeats of what happened a few weeks ago.

Track Katharine HERE

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Are you thinking what I’m thinking? It’s perpetual veal! Get in my belly you tender little delicious mini cows!

P.S. How about the hairdos on these cattle? Talk about flow, it’s like some kind of bovine Zoolander scene out there in Sandwich…

Surfer hair!

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Capecodonline.com – Over 60 years ago, what is known as the greatest small-boat rescue in Coast Guard history occurred off the shore of this seaside town, when waves from a severe nor’easter snapped a 503-foot tanker in two.

Four young Coast Guardsmen braved high seas, wind and driving snow in a small wooden vessel to save 32 seamen that day from the sinking stern section. Seven crewmen and the tanker’s captain lost their lives when the bow sank.

In December, the heroic tale will be recreated in downtown Chatham when filming commences on a Disney-financed production on the rescue that is set to premiere next year.

“Everything is on schedule. They’re looking to start filming the first few weeks in December,” said Chatham Police Chief Mark Pawlina, who issued a production permit to Disney. “We’re hoping it will have as minimal impact as possible on the town.”

“The Finest Hours,” which is based off Casey Sherman’s and Michael J. Tougias’ best-selling book with the same title, will star Chris Pine, Academy Award and Golden Globe nominee Casey Affleck and Holliday Grainger, according to a statement from Disney.

How much do you want to bet that The Fun Police will find some way to complain about this? Some self important prick is going to get to his usual parking spot by the harbor and Casey Affleck is going to be taking a shit in a Porta Potty right where he usually puts his BMW. Mark it down folks, NostraHippie has spoken.

Luckily people have a hard on for celebrities and movies in general. I’m pretty sure even the Fun Police are no match for a giant Hollywood production, tons of money, and national recognition for the Cape. At least let’s hope so…

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GC – During her teenage years, Megan had to deal with constant scrutiny over her body- “I grew up on Nantucket, in Massachusetts, and played football in school. My crowd was all the skinny, beautiful, popular girls and I was their, like, thicker friend. This one dude I was in love with told me in seventh grade, ‘You’d be so much hotter if you were 10 pounds lighter.’ It crushed me.”

Cambio – 5. Her fans are called Megatrons: “I hope Transformers lets me keep the name,” she told the UK Guardian. “It’s helped me on my path, knowing all these girls look up to me, and it helps me learn to love myself. Their support, reading their messages, makes it that much easier. It’s not a lot of pressure, it’s just amazing that one song can change all these lives.”

Hell yes, my ass is firmly planted on the Megatron bus. Meghan and I are like the same person practically. I grew up on Cape Cod. I played football. My crowd was all the skinny, beautiful, popular girls in high school. The dude I was in love with in seve… ok the similarities end at the playing football thing, but I still feel like we could be besties. Hit me up Meghan, let’s talk Cape Cod, stupid boys, and jealous bitches!

Seriously though, talk about living on different planets. Could you imagine if we tried to give Real Cape readers some cutesy nickname and then I said something like this… “It’s helped me on my path, knowing all these readers look up to me, and it helps me learn to love myself. Their support, reading their messages, makes it that much easier. It’s not a lot of pressure, it’s just amazing that one blog can change all these lives.”

I’m pretty sure all of Cape Cod would collectively puke all over themselves.

P.S. Dead serious about being a Megatron though, I’m all about that bass.

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