CCT – Four leases for 742,000 acres of sea south of Martha’s Vineyard – an area roughly the size of Rhode Island – will be put up for bid at a wind power auction on Jan. 29, 2015.

If leased and developed by the power industry, the area has the potential to provide wind-generated electricity to 1.4 million homes, according to the Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, which announced the auction date Monday and pitched it as part of President Barack Obama’s climate action plan and efforts to reduce carbon pollution.

Well this should go smooth as silk. Let’s take one of the most volatile issues in Cape Cod history… and add Barack Obama’s name to it. That should definitely keep everyone calm.

Fucking socialists, now they want to take our wind and redistribute it to the masses? If poor people want wind power then maybe they should put on windmill face masks and harness the energy coming out of their pie holes every time they exhale after a Winston 100.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

CapeCodOnline.com – State Rep. Brian Mannal, a Centerville Democrat and an attorney, said he’s already working on a state bill and helping Conover pen a local bylaw for child protection zones. Such zones would prohibit child sex offenders from hanging around areas where children gather, rather than restrict residency.

Newly elected state Rep. Timothy Whelan, a retired state police officer and Brewster Republican, said he’d support one set of rules for the whole state because it would clarify the situation for police, community members and even the sex offenders.

This law should be named The Real Cape law right? We were the first to run with this story and our articles on the subject were read by well over 150,000 people, garnering over 24,000 Facebook likes, and thousands of shares. Still, after all of that, Boston media outlets used quotes from our articles and Facebook page with no credit. No biggie though, we don’t need credit, we do what we do for you, the people of Cape Cod.

I understand that The Real Cape is Cape Cod’s dirty little secret. We are scary, we say politically incorrect things, we make fun of people, we make fun of ourselves, we throw insane parties and we don’t apologize for any of it. It scares the status quo that we are somehow reaching 300,000 people a month. It’s unsettling to the powers that be when we stir the pot and make the natives restless with our brutally honest rants about the Fun Police and idiotic politicians.

We may not ever get any credit, but we will never stop. We are organizing a revolution from our dingy basement offices and we will succeed. I know this because I’ve met our readers, thousands of them, and they all want the same thing. To restore Cape Cod to its former glory as one of the premier destinations in the country, to bring back the fun, bring back the young, to take back Cape Cod.

P.S. That one really got away from me huh? I can’t even remember what the hell my original point was.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Do you like football, beer, good food, laughing, how about free stuff? Well then keep reading…

That’s right folks today is the day. The Real Cape and Naukabout beer are hosting a wing eating contest at Taste Of Asia on rte. 130 in Sandwich. Come on down to watch the Patriots beat the Packers on the 4 big screen TV’s and watch us crown the king of wings! (or queen)

As always with our events, no fun police allowed and be prepared to have an absolute blast, we’ve got all kinds of games and other things up our sleeves for all day, including a few guest bartenders and chances to get some free stuff.

The party starts for the one o’clock games with .50 cent wings all day, beer specials, and giveaways from both the Naukabout guys and The Real Cape crew. The Patriots are the four o’clock game and the wing eating contest will be at halftime. Come see if anyone can eat more wings than our own Insane Tony, the 2 time defending quahog eating champion, as well as Arthur Bonzarelli, in a minute and 30 seconds.

• First prize: $100 cash
• 2nd prize: $50 gift certificate
• 3rd prize: Wailers ticket

There are only 10 spots in the contest and they will fill up fast so if you want in make sure to email us a request to [email protected] ASAP.

If you like football, beer, good food, laughing and freebies then The Taste of Asia is the place to be on Sunday November 30th!

Join the Facebook event page HERE

Like the Taste of Asia Facebook page HERE

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

The Cape Cod virtual yard sale has provided us with more than its share of laughs at The Real Cape headquarters. Here are a few of our favorite things to watch out for…

People Posting Ridiculous Fake Ads

Whether it is someone posting a chicken wing that was “only eaten once” or a poop bucket, fake ads get a chuckle every time. These are best if they just happen across your news feed at random times because it takes a few seconds for your mind to process what is happening. More of these please, and the more nonsensical they are, the better they are.

Also, huge bonus points if the first comment under an already eaten chicken wing for sale is… “interested”.

The Rule That States If You Wouldn’t Sell/Do/Say It At A Real Yard Sale Don’t Sell/Say/Do It Here

Might not be the best way to put it. You have no idea what people would sell, do and say at a real yard sale. Maybe I’ve sold crack to people naked while screaming racial slurs at the top of my lungs at a real yard sale, you don’t know. If I would then technically I can sell crack on this page by posting dick pics and jokes about Jews and still be within the rules right?

People’s Reaction To Fake Ads

You would think that someone had drawn dicks in the Holy Bible the way people react to the fake ads, it is hilarious. Way funnier than the fake ads themselves. People take posting fake ads very seriously…  “How dare you disrespect the integrity of the virtual yard sale? This is an OUTRAGE! I AM OUTRAGED!”

The best is when they are like… “This is the most disrespectful thing I’ve ever seen.” Really? There are church groups that protest the funerals of soldiers who died in battle… but a joke ad on an internet yard sale is the most disrespectful thing you’ve ever seen? Got it.

Or how about when they comment under a fake ad tagging the moderator and asking if they’ve seen it yet? Holy shit, talk about tools. You are basically the kid in school that tattled to the teacher because of a joke. Too bad Facebook doesn’t have virtual lockers we could stuff you in. You deserve a virtual wedgie or two as well.

Using The Term “Quick Sale”

Cracks me up every time. Oh, so you mean we don’t need to get the lawyers involved in this deal? I don’t need to pass a background check and wait 7 days to buy your old pair of UGGS? That’s so awesome, because the last time I bought a used toaster off the internet I had to put the money in an escrow account and have three home visits to make sure I lived in a stable environment.

Quick sale. So hilarious.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

CapeCodOnline.com – Lifelong fisherman Doug Feeney recently built a new 32-foot boat. He named it after his new son, Noah. And Feeney had a new focus: dogfish.

A Chatham resident, Feeney has seen firsthand how the decline of groundfish like cod has hindered the region’s commercial fishing industry. But the abundance of dogfish, Feeney said, could give the industry the boost it needs.

Feeney and his colleagues, along with the Cape Cod Commercial Fishermen’s Alliance and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Association are looking to re-brand dogfish, which has been snubbed by domestic consumers because of its appearance — it is a shark and it looks like one — and its name. Europeans have already embraced the white-meat fish: most of the dogfish caught today is exported. But the path to re-branding a food can be long and winding, so the cause will need all the help it can get.

One reason for dogfish’s popularity in the UK might be the fact that it is known there by a more appetizing name: rock salmon. And in other regions where the fish is popular, the name has been changed. In France, for example, it’s known as “saumonette,” or little salmon.

“I think we definitely need to work on the name,” Feeney said. “I think the name might be a little bit of a hindrance.”

While renaming a fish can lead to positive outcomes – just look at Patagonian toothfish, which is sold under the name Chilean sea bass in the U.S. – doing so can be a big hurdle, Civetta said.

Orrrr… maybe the reason for dogfish’s popularity in the UK might be the fact that they are used to eating grey meat that had all the flavor sucked out of it by boiling water? Or could it be that they don’t realize that dogfish are the rats of the sea, only to be cursed at when stealing the bait you are trying to catch stripers with?

We are all for trying to expand our local fishery though, so here’s our top 5 new names for dogfish…

5. Filet Mignonfish

4. Heroin of the Sea

3. Hy-Town Sushi

2. Canalibut

1. REGGAE SHARK!!!

P.S. Yes, I will post Reggae Shark every single time I have an excuse.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Globe – Each year, about 90 or so young Kemp’s Ridley sea turtles get lost trying to go around Cape Cod, become stunned by the cold, and wash up on a beach, their bodies in a bad way.

The number of strandings has been increasing steadily, which could be a sign of growth in the population of the world’s most endangered sea turtle.

But what is happening on Cape Cod Bay this fall is unprecedented, “an outlier of outliers,” said Tony LaCasse, a spokesman for the New England Aquarium.

Three weeks into stranding season — just a third of the way — rescuers have picked nearly 400 turtles off the beaches of Cape Cod Bay, double the previous record. In the past week, steady northwest winds helped to push more than 300 onto beaches.

There is a backlog of turtles at the Massachusetts Audubon Sanctuary at Wellfleet Bay, which has been collecting them, waiting for room at the New England Aquarium’s marine animal hospital in Quincy, which has been flooded with incoming patients.

On Tuesday, the Coast Guard will fly 193 of the Kemp’s ridley sea turtles to Orlando, where they will be shared among 10 marine rehabilitation facilities.

They get lost trying to go around the Cape? Hey turtles, ever hear of a thing called The Cape Cod Canal? It’s been there for a hundred years, you’d think one of you would have spread the word by now.

Talk about Cape Cod Problems though huh? There are people all over the country that can’t afford to get to their families for Thanksgiving this week and meanwhile 193 Cape Cod turtles will be on the red eye to Boca.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Orleans Police Facebook – This past Saturday, one of our Officers arrived to assist a motorist on Rte. 6 with two flat tires, and observed a visibly upset mother, with two scared little girls crying in the backseat.

The Officer returned to his cruiser to find something that would calm the girls, and distract them from the stressful situation. Unable to find a stuffed animal or toy, the Officer grabbed his tablet he had with him and began playing a kids movie as he handed it to the older of the two girls.

When the tow truck arrived some 40 minutes later, the Officer returned to the vehicle to retrieve his tablet. The mother thanked the Officer, and stated “I think she may have taken a couple of pictures”. Attached (above) are just a couple of the 25+ pictures the officer found later in his photo gallery that brought a happy conclusion to his day.

Given what we are all being inundated with on our news feeds today, I thought it would be nice to start off with a post to remind us that there is still way more good in this world than there is evil.

Do you know how I know this police officer is a good person? He just nonchalantly handed a kid his tablet. Most people would need about three days alone with the delete button before they could just hand their computer over to a child.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony