CCT – An Alabama woman is the new owner of a dream house on Martha’s Vineyard. Kathy O’Dell of Huntsville, Alabama is the winner of the HGTV Dream Home Giveaway® 2015. O’Dell’s name was chosen from 94 million entries, according to the HGTV Home Giveaway Blog. The home is on Crocker Drive in Edgartown, according to the Vineyard Gazette.

The Cape Cod-style, single story home has three bedrooms. In addition to the Martha’s Vineyard home, O’Dell, a married mother of five and grandmother of six, won a 2015 GMC Acadia Denali and a $250,000 cash prize courtesy of Quiken Loans. According to the Dream Home blog, the entire package–home and all–is valued at more than $2 million.

Oh great, a $2 million dollar Edgartown mansion for some chick from Alabama. I’m sure she’ll get plenty of use out of that. I wonder how long until this house is on the market if it’s not already? She’ll probably list it for sale right around the time she realizes the yearly taxes are more than Alabama’s entire state budget.

Giving an Alabaman an estate in Edgartown is like giving a dog bone to an ant. What are they going to do with it, put a couple of old cars on blocks in the driveway and replace the cedar shingles with old hubcaps? Maybe turn it into the world’s most tasteful meth lab?

The only thing that would make less sense than this Alabama woman winning a dream home on Martha’s Vineyard would be a person on Martha’s Vineyard winning a double wide in Tuscaloosa. HGTV needs to think this shit through a little better next time, maybe have two different contests for each side of the Mason Dixon Line? We’ve got our hands full with New Yorkers and New Jersey people, we don’t need them throwing any cousin humpers into the mix for us to co-mingle with.

 

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I knew the turkey situation on Cape Cod was bad, but I had no idea it was to the point where they are roaming the streets in gangs trying to carjack mail trucks. Who do these pricks think they are? No wonder the pilgrims wiped them off the face of the peninsula. It wasn’t because of Thanksgiving, they knew that they were a menace to society.

Why exactly are we not doing anything about this? If there were packs of any other animal roaming the streets so brazenly that they were attacking moving vehicles, there would be a task force and SWAT team sent out to destroy them. Do these turkeys have naked photos of someone’s wife or something? I want them dead, I want their families dead, I want their nests (or whatever they live in) burned to the ground, and I want to piss on the ashes.

P.S. They are smarter than we think. Remember…

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Source – The birthplace of the computer networking1 is shown in this aerial photo over South Truro on Cape Cod. The photo is from the mid-1950s. The radar installation shown in the photo was known as the “Cape Cod System.” Analog data from the radar equipment at the site was converted to digital form and then transmitted via modems and dedicated phone lines to the Whirlwind computer, which was housed a hundred miles away on the MIT campus in Cambridge, Massachusetts. This setup was the first example of a long-distance computer network.

BOOM! Fact: The internet is the engine that powers the modern world. Fact: The internet is the single most important advancement in the history of mankind. Fact: The internet was invented on Cape Cod in a quaint little town named Truro.

It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to use deduction and… well, deduce, that Cape Cod is the single most important place in the history of earth. I have joked around calling us the chosen people, never realizing just how true it was. We are the Bethlehem of the internet. It all started right here. This peninsula is the cradle of modern civilization.

For those of you that are counting here is a list of a few of the things Cape Cod has invented:

1. The Banana
2. The Brown Paper Bag
3. The United States
4. The Internet

There are more, but those are the big 4.

On behalf of Cape Cod, I would just like to say to the rest of the world that whenever you use Facebook, order something on Amazon, watch free porn, giggle at a cute kitten meme, or download your favorite song, take a minute to thank the place that made it all possible… Cape Cod.

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CapeCodTimes.com – The Air Force cleanup program at Joint Base Cape Cod could face fines of up to $10,000 per week for failing to comply with a request to test for perfluorochemicals, an EPA official said Wednesday night.

Known as PFCs, they are an emerging contaminant, meaning they have not yet been linked to health issues in humans but studies on animals show they have ill effects. In New Hampshire, PFCs have been detected in drinking water supplies near the former Pease Air Force base and concerns are so high that state health officials are offering blood tests to people who have been drinking the water, according to published reports.

Hey EPA, you wanna know why the Air Force isn’t testing for PFCs at the Base? Because testing is going to show that the levels are somewhere around 3,647 percent. Asking if there are perfluorochemicals in the ground water below the Base is like asking if there is salt in ocean water. Ah, yeah, there is.

Can you even imagine what kind of crap they were dumping into the ground back in the day? Your grandfather drank jet fuel while puffing on a cigar. Even our parents smoked butts in airplanes cradling their babies in their arms for cripes sake, they just didn’t know any better. I would not be one tiny bit surprised if they found pure radiation and liquid AIDS in the groundwater underneath Otis.

P.S. I just naturally started calling it Otis by the end because that’s what it will always be. Eversource? NSTAR. Joint Base? Otis.

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CapeCod.com – Eversource Energy will be conducting helicopter inspections of high voltage electrical equipment on rights-of-way in Eastern Massachusetts next week.

The inspections, which begin Monday, are expected to occur on the South Shore and South Coast in the middle of the week before finishing up on the Cape by the end of the week.

The overhead inspections allow engineers to detect potential problems in advance.
The helicopter is equipped with a high-resolution camera and may hover over certain equipment for up to five minutes.

The work will be done between 7 a.m. and 5 p.m. Monday through Friday, weather permitting.

The vehicle is a white jet ranger with a blue stripe with a registration number of 37WA.

Oooh so fun! There’s nothing better than waking up at 7 a.m. to a helicopter hovering directly over your house for up to 5 minutes. That should be priceless. I guess now we know why our rates nearly doubled, helicopter fuel isn’t cheap.

It makes perfect sense if you think about it though, they’ve been using pesticides instead of weed wackers to clear the lines and pollute the ground under Cape Cod for years, they might as well use a helicopter to pollute the air above it while they are at it.

P.S. WANTED: High powered paint ball gun

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CapeNews.net – The Town of Bourne has emerged as the statewide winner of the 8th annual Boston Bruins Cradles to Crayons pajamas drive. Neighbor and friendly rival town, Sandwich, placed third.

Caryn Oppenheim, the youth programs coordinator for Cradles to Crayons, announced Bourne’s statewide win in an e-mail to Jonathan Bourne Public Library director Patrick W. Marshall this week. Ms. Oppenheim, a native of Falmouth, noted that this year there were almost twice the number of groups that participated in the drive than there were last year.

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