No, it’s not what you think. Apparently some Ukranian DJ prog rocker named himself “Cape Cod”. You can read the full interview with this “Cape Cod” here, (proceed with caution, possible Eurotrash overload) but this is all you really need to read…

Hi Cape Cod, thanks for taking the time out to allow the DFD chefs to pick your brain.

Thanks for support, appreciate it! And hello from Kiev.

Firstly, Cape Cod is an awesome name! Tell us how you came up with it. Is there any special meaning behind it?

Cape Cod is one of the quietest places on Earth. Originally it was a project with my friend from St. Petersburg – guitarist of post-metal band Euglena, which had to be something at the junction of the freak-folk and post-rock. You know, I’m a former black metal fan (laughs) (before I played bass guitar in a mathcore\hardcore band +\- (plus\minus)

Cape Cod is one of the quietest places on Earth? What about the uninhabited areas of the Earth? I have a sneaking suspicion “Cape Cod” has never been to Cape Cod. I also have a sneaking suspicion that I speak for all of Cape Cod when I say that we’d like to keep it that way.

This guy makes the hipsters in Brooklyn look like Old Navy catalog models. Polka dots. Polka. Dots.

While his shirt may be bad, the absolute defining factor in his flawless douche rating has to be his music genre descriptions. I’ll even gloss right over terms like “post-metal” and “post-rock”, because even though they make zero sense, they pale in comparison to the pretentious hipster douchiness of the other two.

1. Freak-Folk – Wikipedia defines it as acoustic avant garde, baroque pop. In other words it can only be defined by using even douchier words with even more obscure meanings than the original words. Like pigs in a blanket but the pigs are made of crap and the blanket is made of shit.

2. Mathcore/Hardcore – Ding! We have a winner, this is the douchiest description of a music genre in the history of everything. I’m not even going to look this one up. I would rather just imagine “Cape Cod” on stage doing Bad Brains’ taxes after which the lead singer smashes an abacus over his head.

In conclusion I would like to formally ask “Cape Cod” to please stop using our peninsula as your douchy hipster DJ name. Thank you.

P.S. The name of your Mathcore band was +/-? You are the douchiest douche that ever douched… douche.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Full Story Here – DENNISPORT – Dennis police picked up a Dennis man on a default warrant Thursday afternoon and ended up charging him for a lot more after getting a peek at the contents of his backpack.

According to a Dennis police release, Det. Matt Turner spotted 27-year-old Robert Diaz walking down Edwards Ave. in Dennisport around 2:40 p.m. Thursday afternoon. Knowing Orleans District Court had issued a default warrant on a vandalism charge for Diaz, Det. Turner approached Diaz and placed him under arrest.

While searching Diaz’s backpack, Det. Turner discovered several bottles of liquor that were stolen from the Ocean House Restaurant in Dennisport several nights before.

Shocking, absolutely shocking. What are the chances that the police would be suspicious of a Hispanic dude with a neck tattoo wearing a Hernandez jersey? Come on man you are literally dressed in the exact same outfit that half of New England wore as a Halloween costume this year. The cops are stopping you eleven times out of ten in that get up even if you don’t have warrants. This is Chappelle 101.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Click Here for the full story

It seems that Christy Mihos of Cape Cod convenience store fame has seen better days. It’s the old triple whammy for the former gubernatorial candidate: bankruptcy, divorce and porn stars… wait what? Maybe this isn’t a story of the mighty falling, maybe Christy Mihos is a rock star? Here’s an excerpt from the article concerning his divorce proceedings:

She accused him of wasting millions of dollars on two doomed campaigns for governor in 2006 and 2010, as well as on strippers, prostitutes and porn stars. The couple filed for divorce March 27, 2012.

According to Andrea Mihos’ attorney in the divorce proceedings, her husband blew through $25 million since the sale of his convenience stores in 2009.

Christy you dirty dog! The trifecta! Strippers, prostitutes and porn stars? I bet my man was slapping bitches with Slim Jim’s and making it rain scratch tickets at Zachary’s.

You get an “atta boy” Christy, but there’s one problem. As we learned from Tiger Woods, if you play with strippers, hookers and porn stars, she gets the house, the money and the cars. Here’s how the judge divvied up the assets:

“The court’s ‘final’ numbers of approximately $2.8 million to the wife and approximately $1.1 million to the (husband) is a ratio of approximately 72 (percent) of the net assets to the wife and 28 percent of the net assets to the husband,” Scandurra wrote.

The judge ordered that Christy Mihos should have use of the couple’s condominium in Florida and Andrea Mihos should have use of one of the couple’s homes on Great Island, at 63 Smiths Point Road…

…Andrea Mihos gets a Mercedes, a leased BMW, a Land Rover Defender and a Land Rover Discovery, and Christy Mihos gets a Jeep, according to the order.

72 Percent. His wife got 72% of what was left of his fortune. She got the Cape Cod mansion, he got the Florida condo. She got a Mercedes, a BMW and two Land Rovers. Christy got a Jeep. Seems fair.

According to Wikipedia Christy Mihos now says he has $7,000 to his name. He blew through over $25 million. He is the real life Brewster’s millions, but instead of inheriting $300 million for pissing through his money, Christy’s constellation prize is a Jeep, a condo in Boca and 7 G’s to spend on hookers, thanks for playing, game over.

 

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Take a look at this cute little correction CTpost.com posted regarding an article they published recently about the National Seashore.

ctpost – In a Nov. 5 story about people feeding coyotes on Cape Cod, The Associated Press erroneously reported the gender of the Cape Cod National Seashore’s chief ranger. Leslie Reynolds is a woman, not a man.

Hey Connecticut, it’s November on Cape Cod, you don’t have to apologize for thinking a chick was a dude, it happens all the time down here in the off season. I met a girl at a bar last night and I made her show me her license before I’d make out with her. Not that it would’ve made a difference, on the Cape a mouth is a mouth in November.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

 

Full Story @ Wicked Local – “Today’s action by the Massachusetts state Senate moves our casino plans one step closer to fruition. We appreciate the Senate’s strong support for this agreement,” said Cedric Cromwell, Chairman of the Mashpee Wampanoag Tribe.  “Our Project First Light destination resort casino will bring jobs and economic opportunity for Massachusetts, plus a guaranteed rate of return to the state.”

Great news for the Wompanoags, it’s been a long road for them and they deserve to finally get their slice of the pie, but let’s have real talk for minute.

Cape Cod is full of boozebags. For 8 months of the year there is literally nothing to do on Cape Cod. Imagine what a shit show it is going to be when after a few drinks we have the option of going to that monstrosity pictured above for blackjack and free booze?

Landlords are going to have to set up checkpoints at all the entrances and demand their rents before people get in. I can see the Craigslist Ads already – Cozy 2 bedroom, hardwood floors, pets ok, no smoking, $1200 per month, credit check required as well as voluntary casino restraining order.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

CCT

The United States Army Corps of Engineers announced Wednesday that they will be closing one lane on the Bourne Bridge Friday, November 8 for maintenance.

From 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Friday, one lane headed off Cape will be closed to allow maintenance work on the bridge lighting.

How is it that every single time they close lanes on either bridge they pick the worst times possible? What asshole decides that when they have one day of work to do, that the best possible solution is to do it on a Friday?

Yeah, let’s close a lane on one of two different roads to all of Cape Cod on a Friday! Sure it’s the biggest travel day of the week, sure half of New England doesn’t do shit on Mondays during football season. Tuesday? Hell no.

Friday, it HAS to be Friday.

 

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony