TRC & GG Advice Column: Volume 3

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3: What’s the best way to ask a girl out? I’ve been shot down three times this month alone, and I consider myself a pretty successful, good looking guy – not sure what I’m doing wrong here..

Dear Lonely Larry,

The first thing I take into consideration when considering whether or not to accept a date is how it was asked and in what form of communication. Texting is unacceptable. If you want a girl to give you the privilege of her company for an evening, take the time to fucking pick up the phone or ask her out in person like a man. I’d accept a date via smoke signal before a fucking text.

Second, don’t put pressure on her or the evening. If I feel like it’s too much of a “date” I’ll panic and either cancel, get too drunk or throw up on the table because you gave me anxiety. Take it easy, have a good time and make it a point to be a gentleman. That means opening her doors (all of them – even the car; chivalry isn’t dead, asshole) and chew with your mouth closed. Also, don’t bring up past relationships, EVER. It’s super unattractive and just reminds us that you were at one point someone else’s second hand penis.

GG

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Dear Mr. Delusional,

Dude, shot down three times in one month? You are lying to yourself about your number. Lower your target number by three and see what happens. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but if you think you’re an 8? You’re actually a 5.

Hippie

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