East Falmouth Woman Caught Huffing Whipped Cream In Stop And Shop Throws Can At Manager

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Patch.com – An East Falmouth woman accused by a Stop & Shop manager of habitually shoplifting food and huffing gas from whipped-cream cans was arrested Jan. 5 after allegedly hurling one of the cans at the grocery store manager when he tried to stop her

You know how there are some things in life that fall under that “if someone steals this then god bless them, they obviously need it more than me” category? Well if you are at a point in your life where you are suckling on the teet of a whipped cream can in aisle 9 of a Stop and Shop then god bless you. You need it more than me.

The big question is what was the manager of Stop and Shop thinking trying to stop her by himself? If you happen to come across a gal playing Reddi Whip cans like saxophones in the middle of your store, what part of that scenario leads you to believe that she will listen to reason? Just keep your distance and call the cops, shit call the National Guard. Either that or you might as well just start throwing whipped cream cans at your own head, because we all know that is the ONLY way this scene ends if you try to be a hero.

P.S. wawawawawawawawawawaw (you know what I’m talking about)

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