Cape Cod Craigslist Ad Of The Day – Cutie In Shackles

Cutie in shackles – m4w (highspeed ferry)

we were both on the Fast Boat to Hyannis from Nantucket…we were across from each other and you were having a bad day all around. We sorta just stared at each other..you are fucking hot! especially in the shackles. I would have bailed you if I could have found out where you were going. I’ve been there! You were having a pain..you tell me what it was and I’ll know it’s you!

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

I’m gonna go out on a limb here with some advice for this dude. If you see a girl in shackles being transported to jail on the ferry and your first thought is… “I’ve got to post something in the missed connections section of craigslist and try to get with this girl!” then there are two things you need to work on in life.

1. Your first problem is that I’m pretty sure you might want to raise your standards a tad. (Unless you enjoy getting stabbed with a pen while you’re sleeping that is) How many women were on that ferry? And you find yourself desperately attracted to a convict in shackles? As if handcuffs alone aren’t enough of a warning sign, this chick is so scary that they cuffed her ankles? Listen, I know it’s been a harsh winter, but you are in the home stretch bro. It’s almost Memorial Day, pull yourself together and leave Lindsay Lohan alone.

2. Your second problem is that you aren’t the brightest bulb in the box. How on earth is a woman headed for jail ever going to see your ad on Craigslist? You even said you’ve “been there” before. Let me ask you this, when you were in jail did you notice that nobody had smartphones, laptops or freakin’ Wifi?

Now that I think about it, maybe dude guy finding this girl and marrying her is the best case scenario for the rest of us. At least if he’s with someone that’s in jail he won’t be able to procreate. I’m pretty sure the world will be a better place if his gene pool lineage ends ASAP.