Hyannisnews.com In the middle of last night’s storm, shortly after 8:30pm, a seasoned veteran Barnstable Police Patrolman responded to Ocean Street after a spooked woman called dispatch complaining about “paranormal images” on her cell phone…
After examining the images on the phone, taking the room, lighting, and outside snowy conditions into consideration, the sagacious patrolman solved the caper.
With the seriousness of a public servant who has truly seen it all, Barnstable Patrolman Steve O’Brien radioed that the paranormal-like image was the result of the woman standing in front of a window while taking a “selfie.”
The specter-like images turned out to be nothing more than inside reflections off a window contrasting with the dark and snowy outdoors…
This lady is fucking AWESOME. Taking snowstorm selfies and inadvertently capturing your own reflection in a window is one thing. Assuming it is a ghost takes her into a different league entirely, but the absolute pinnacle of insanity is calling the police to report it.
What type of ridiculous life must you have lived up to that point to think that calling the cops on a ghost is in any way shape or form an acceptable thing to do? Who raised this human? Did she think that the cops would get there, agree that it was definitely a ghost and launch a ghost hunt? You need to be extremely detached from reality for that to be your thought process.
Let’s say it even does get that far and the cops manage to find the ghost. The police are not equipped for the apprehension of a ghost, what are they going to do handcuff the thing? Put it in the patrol car? It’s a fucking ghost, it doesn’t exist within the confines of the material world for christ sakes it would just float away.
Fuck. Now I am arguing that handcuffs wouldn’t work on ghosts, this lady sucked me into her insanity and I don’t even know her. I hope she doesn’t have a husband because that dude would be screwed. If she does he must be the king of the not listening/smile and nod/yes dear game.
Crazy Lady: “Frank there was a ghost behind me in the selfie I took today so I called the cops and they didn’t even do anything they just tried to tell me it was a reflection and they didn’t even search for it so now we have to move and it made me so upset I burned the sugar cookies I was going to serve your sister and her husband and now I have anxiety which is giving the cat anxiety so she is constipated so I need you to the store and get cat lax and a bag of sugar immediately.”
Frank: (smiling and nodding ) “Yes dear”.
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