Vineyard Scientists Are Trying To Bring Back A Chicken That’s Been Extinct For 80 Years

MVGazette – A complex and groundbreaking project that aims to bring back the heath hen is advancing “at lightning speed,” scientists said this week.

The small bird that is a member of the grouse family went extinct more than 80 years ago when the last known male died on Martha’s Vineyard.

Now, using DNA plucked from the toes of heath hen specimens in Canada and Chicago, DNA samples from a greater prairie chicken from the plains of Nebraska and funding from donors with Vineyard ties, a team of scientists from around the country hopes to complete the first phase of the heath hen de-extinction project by early summer.

Even if the effort falls short of its end goal — to bring the heath hen back into existence — scientists involved said the quest to bring back a long-lost bird could help existing bird species.

“This has opened up the idea whereby we might approach many species,” said Tom Chase, a Vineyard conservationist who is a key advisor for the project. “It’s probably not just a Vineyard, heath hen thing anymore. It’s probably much bigger than that.”

This has to be a joke right? Is anyone going to bring up the 800 pound gorilla in the room (or should I say neanderthal)? Have none of these people seen Jurassic Park?

I say we stop the ferries and the flights right now just to be safe. Sure, it might be just a little chicken today, but we’ve all seen how fast that shit escalates. One minute you’re enjoying a Bad Martha IPA at the snack bar and the next thing you know you’re getting chased through the cargo hold by a freakin’ Velociraptor.

How about the fact they are doing this shit it on an island? How cliche can you possibly get? On the bright side, I guess when The Vineyard gets overrun by giant zombie death chickens we can evacuate it and just let them have it.

P.S. Uh oh, here’s a live look at my water glass… looks like it’s already too late…